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When it comes to relationships, we are designed to seek safety, belonging, and connection–we all want to know that we matter. For people pleasers and perfectionists, this commonly shows up as using certain behaviors to “earn” love in return, but that often doesn’t help cultivate real connection. In this episode, I offer you ten strategies you can use to improve any relationship no matter where you are in your journey. Here’s what I cover:

• Why the skills to repair after a rupture are a crucial part of any relationship
• A practice to help you better understand your conflict patterns
• Why the distinction between fault and responsibility is so important
• 4 questions to help you figure out what is working in your relationships and do more of it
• How understanding the difference between boundaries, expectations, and preferences will help you communicate more clearly
• Why taking care of yourself with love and kindness is so effective for improving your relationships

I can’t wait for you to listen.

Listen to episode 23 of the podcast to practice saying what you want to say.

Listen to episodes 36 and 37 of the podcast to dive deeper into the difference between boundaries, expectations, and preferences.

Find Sara here:

https://sarafisk.coach

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

https://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/

https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/

https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach

https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!

Book a Free Consult

If you follow me on social media or regularly listen to this podcast, you might know that I have taken on the role of a volunteer perimenopause missionary. This stage of life has had a significant impact on me, as well as my sisters and friends—just as it does for all women at a certain point. In this episode, I investigate how the lack of information and support for women going through perimenopause ties back to one important factor: how religious teachings about Eve have influenced the way society views and treats women. Here's what we cover:

• A poem by Danielle Coffyn that highlights the way men and women are viewed differently based on how Eve is depicted as morally and intellectually inferior
• How the story of Eve is directly linked to so many hardships women face–from victim blaming to not receiving adequate medical care
• Examples of good girl programming that often stops women from demanding more for themselves
• Why it is important to listen to the message that feminine rage sends us
• What you can do to advocate for yourself and receive the care and support you need during perimenopause

I can't wait for you to listen.

Find Sara here:

https://sarafisk.coach

https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

https://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/

https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/

https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach

https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!

Book a Free Consult

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I started this podcast to contribute to the conversation around people-pleasing and perfectionism. Now, as The Ex-Good Girl Podcast reaches the 100th episode, I am extremely proud and grateful. My goal has always been to share tools, strategies, and stories to help you overcome challenges that result from good girl programming and live the life you want.

It has meant so much to hear from all of you along this journey about the skills you’ve implemented and the progress you’ve made in your lives and relationships. Today, I’m answering your questions about people-pleasing, patriarchy, and so much more. Here’s what I cover:

• How honest conversations are often confused with conflict by people pleasers who have been conditioned to fear confrontation
• Why open communication is key to maintaining an important relationship when you disagree
• The importance of setting goals you know you can accomplish to maintaining the energy to work toward positive change
• How to feel in your body whether or not it is truly your choice to please someone
• Tips for how to talk to the men in your life about patriarchy and feminism

I can’t wait for you to listen!

Find Sara here:
https://sarafisk.coach
https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations
https://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/
https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/
https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach
https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!
Book a Free Consult

Send us a text

In this episode, you’ll hear my conversation with Amy McPhie Allebest, a writer, teacher, and feminist historian whose work has helped shape my understanding of patriarchy and expand my worldview. In her podcast, Breaking Down Patriarchy, Amy offers thought-provoking insights that inspire continued learning about the roots of patriarchy in society. Today, she shares some of those powerful ideas and personal stories, which I hope you find valuable as I have. Here’s what we cover:

• How “good girl” programming contributes to white feminism and upholding patriarchy
• Why feelings of fear, guilt, and shame create barriers to open-mindedness
• Several tools for accepting discomfort in order to effectively engage with learning about patriarchy
• Why working to educate yourself is a valuable first step from silence to speaking up
• How to create a space for yourself where it's safe to learn and change your mind
• Why grieving your past beliefs or harm you’ve caused is essential to moving forward
• The importance of generosity and understanding in growing from what you learn instead of self-blaming

I can't wait for you to listen.

Check out these reading recommendations from Amy:
This Bridge Called My Back: Writings by Radical Women of Color
Books by bell hooks
Sister Outsider by Audre Lorde
Caste by Isabel Wilkerson

Find Amy here:
https://breakingdownpatriarchy.com/
https://www.youtube.com/@breakingdownpatriarchy
https://breakingdownpatriarchy.com/podcast/

Find Sara here:
https://sarafisk.coach
https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations
https://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/
https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/
https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach
https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!
Book a Free Consult

Send us a text

Have you ever felt resentment building, only to realize your own choices have led you to that place? A huge source of resentment is mistakenly blaming others for decisions that we are responsible for, but recognizing your power to control this can be transformative. In this episode, my guest, Sara Wilhelm, shares her recent breakthrough in understanding her resentment, and how she has made a plan to move forward in the direction of living more according to her values. Here’s what we cover:

• The steps to take you from feeling resentful to taking action
• How people pleasing disconnects us from our true feelings and desires
• A method to help deal with the discomfort you feel when you stop people pleasing
• How women are programmed to believe that our time is not actually our own
• Why finding a way to take action helps stop resentment towards other people or larger systems
• The importance of self-compassion as you work through your resentment

I can't wait for you to listen!

Find Sara here:
https://sarafisk.coach
https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations
https://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/
https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/
https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach
https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!
Book a Free Consult

Send us a text

I want every woman to have the ability to create a life of her choosing, filled with the freedom to embrace her desires. I’ve worked hard to create a program that helps women achieve this, but the real magic of my Stop People Pleasing program comes from the women themselves who are willing to take risks, expand their capacity for feeling uncomfortable, and develop the skills needed to live authentically without the weight of constantly pleasing others. In this episode, I’m so grateful to be joined by four amazing women from my program–Allyssya, Sara, Stephanie, and Susan–who share their journeys with people pleasing. You'll hear about the changes they have made in their daily lives and in how they see themselves. Here’s what we cover:

• How a group program provides encouragement from other women on the same path
• Why trust in yourself is crucial to turn your focus to your own desires
• How people pleasing has a cost, and you often pay for it with your peace and happiness
• Examples of which areas in life people-pleasing tendencies are most common
• Why coaching provides you with the freedom to implement what you've learned whenever the time is right for you
• How to start living a life you created instead of living a life someone chose for you when you stop people pleasing

I can't wait for you to listen!

Find Sara here:
https://sarafisk.coach
https://pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations
https://www.instagram.com/sarafiskcoach/
https://www.facebook.com/SaraFiskCoaching/
https://www.tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach
https://www.youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

What happens inside the free Stop People Pleasing Facebook Community? Our goal is to provide help and guidance on your journey to eliminate people pleasing and perfectionism from your life. We heal best in a safe community where we can grow and learn together and celebrate and encourage each other. This group is for posting questions about or experiences with material learned in The Ex-Good Girl podcast, Sara Fisk Coaching social media posts or the free webinars and trainings provided by Sara Fisk Coaching. See you inside!
Book a Free Consult