Takeaways:

Coping is an active process that requires setting goals and taking control over the choices we face.

Balance is crucial in coping, and it involves managing stress coming into our lives and releasing it through physical exercise and relaxation breathing.

Sorting worries into three boxes (things we have control over, things we will have control over later, and things we have no control over) helps us focus on what we can change and let go of what we can't.

Making choices is inevitable, and every choice has positive and negative consequences. It's important to make the best choice with the information we have at the moment.

Preventing future regret involves imagining ourselves at our hundredth birthday and reflecting on what we would be glad we did or wish we did more or less of.

Releasing emotional energy through physical exercise and relaxation breathing can help achieve balance and stability in coping.

Coping requires practice, patience, and the use of tools and support from others. Emotional distress is a normal reaction and should not be pathologized.

Take inventory of what is getting in the way and identify practical solutions.

Coping with stress does not mean having no stress at all.

Embrace the uncertainty of life and focus on doing the best with what you have.

Sound Bites:

"Control is the core concept."

"Recognizing that a lot of what we worry about belongs in the box of things we have no control over."

"Every element of every decision has some element of choice."

"You can control what you can touch."

"The emotional exercise is something that I use on a daily basis."

"If I don't want to regret at my 80th birthday, I gotta come back to my 25th or 30th and really think about then."

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction and Background

10:20 The Three-Part Coping Process

37:11 Conclusion and Q&A

49:01 The Importance of Emotional Exercise

56:16 Using the Book as a Workbook

01:04:53 Doing the Best with What You Have