This episode of the Conversations Between Friends series was recorded June 29, 2020.

In this episode of the Conversations Between Friends Series, we discuss punitive systems, including policing and schools, and the frameworks and assumptions underlying their policies.

Terminology:

IEP – Individualized Education Plan – the document that determines the accommodations and supports for a particular student in special education.

Ontology – theory of being, framework of what entities exist or how to categorize what exists.

In this episode we discuss:

• what it means to be an ally
• the difference between performative and authentic allyship
• how allyship differs from friendship and being a coalition partner
• stigma jumping vs intersectional activism and advocacy

Terms:

Allyship – An active, consistent, and arduous practice of unlearning and re-evaluating, in which a person in a position of privilege and power seeks to operate in solidarity with a marginalized group and works to ensure equality, opportunity and inclusion for everyone. (Thank you to Sonya, Sophie, Gigi and Lilah – students in Dionne Bensonsmith’s “Introduction to Feminism, Gender, and Sexuality” Class in the Fall 2019 at Scripps College – for this definition.)

Intersectionality – A framework for understanding the interconnected nature of social categorizations such as race, class, and gender as they apply to a given individual or group, creating overlapping and interdependent systems of discrimination or disadvantage. (This term was coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw in 1989.)

Stigma-Jumping – Avoiding association with potential allies or coalition partners to avoid their stigma being attached to your cause, organization or person. Stigma jumping is a barrier to intersectional activism and advocacy and therefore neglects the most vulnerable. (This term was coined by Tammy Nyden in 2017.)

Resources:

Allyship (Definitions):

Rochester Racial Justice Toolkit “What is Allyship?””

Michelle Kim “Allyship (& Accomplice): The What, the Why, and the How”

Seventeen Magazine “What is Performative Allyship?”

Teaching Tolerance “Ally or Accomplice: The Language of Activism”

On Privilege and Power

University of San Francisco, Gleeson Library “White Privilege Resource Guide”

How to be an Ally (start here and by all means, do not stop):

The Anti-Oppression Network “Allyship”

Amélie Lamont “Guide to Allyship”

Jamie Utt “So You Call Yourself an Ally: 10 Things All ‘Allies’ Need to Know”

Chris Scot Cole “3 Things Not To Do When Someone Discloses Their Invisible Disability”

In this episode we have a conversation about defunding the police:

• what it means, what it doesn’t mean, and how the phrase raises different emotions in people depending on their personal experiences with the police and racism.
• How decades of consistent and pervasive defunding of community programming, healthcare, and education has harmed communities. We focus on the effects for children with disabilities.
• School Resource officers and police brutality in the schools that specifically targets black and brown children and children with disabilities.
• How policy runs on narratives, not statistics. We discuss and challenge narratives about “bad neighborhoods” and “bad children” that are steeped in anti-black racism, anti-indigeneity, and ableism and have fueled bad policy for decades.

For more information about this topic:

Defunding the police:

Democracy NOW!: “Defund the Police: Linda Sarsour & Mychal Denzel Smith on What Meaningful Change Would Look Like”

USA Today “What does ‘defund the police’ mean and why some say ‘reform’ is not enough”

Black Lives Matter

Los Angeles Times “Eliminate school police, L.A. teachers union leaders say”

Reading Towward Abolition: A Reading List on Policing, Rebellion, and the Criminalization of Blackness by the Abusable Past.

Resources for teaching and talking about racism:

EdJustice: “Black Lives Matter at School – Resources”

Watson, Dyan, Jesse Hagopian, and Wayne Au. Teaching for Black Lives. , 2018. Print.

The Black Lives Matter Syllabus

The School to Prison Pipeline:

Bullies in Blue: The Problem with School Policing [infographic] by the ACLU

Cops and No Counselors: How the Lack of School Mental Health is Harming Students by the ACLU

** The image above was drawn by Akim, a 10 year African American boy expressing his feelings in this current moment of police brutality, racism, and Covid-19.

In this episode, the founders of Mothers on the Frontline discuss grief, racial privilege, policing, and the performativity of emotion.

Families and communities are grieving right now. We are grieving the deaths of over 100,000 Americans to Covid-19, which has disproportionately affected Black and Brown communities. We are grieving ongoing and countless losses of African-American Women, Men, and non-binary folk, children to elders, to institutional racism, particularly by the very structures that should be protecting them, including the police. Many parents are grieving the loss of the veneer of safety they once felt for themselves and their black and brown children in the community and in their very homes.

Many white allies see the collective grief in the Black community and the pain in the eyes of their Black friends. They want to be helpful, but often fail to recognize their own emotional privilege. We examine how the centering and privileging of white emotion can result in dysfunctional empathy, as well as the weaponization of white lady tears.

Today’s conversation challenges us to think about how the expression of emotion is learned and responded to very differently between White and Black women and how white emotional privilege in turn affects social narratives, resulting in particular interactions between children, police, and schools which are detrimental to children’s mental health.

If you are interested in learning more about some of the topics mentioned in this podcast we suggest the following:

For information on addressing racism and racist thinking in your personal relationships: Seed the Way “Interrupting Bias: Calling In vs. Calling Out”

A good guide on ACEs and Toxic Stress: Harvard University: Center on the Developing Child “ACEs and Toxic Stress: Frequently Asked Questions”

Mentioned in the Podcast: DiAngelo, Robin J., White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk about Racism. United States, Beacon Press, 2018. National Domestic Workers Alliance