Step Up #3 Welcome to step up to the mic. Number three. Yeah, my third episode. And as always, I pro I promise you useful stuff, but I also want to reiterate, there's no rules on being you as a . There are no rules on being a period. There's no right way to do it. Always want to remind people of that show up, be yourself . Okay. Let's get to the useful stuff I promised. I would talk about the Archer, you the speaker about your confidence. I guess I should clarify. We have the Archer, the bow, the arrow, and the target, which represents the Archer is you, the , the bow represents tools. What you use to deliver the arrow, represents the message and the target represents the audience. Okay. Let's kind of always put that in and let's talk about what we assume about ourselves and public speaking. So I want you to imagine that you're looking at the world through a window and most of the time, that window is nice and clear, particularly when let's say your car window, you're driving down the highway and it's nice and clear, and it's a sunny day. You can look through the window and you can see yourself going down the highway. You can drive safely, but confidence isn't seen through a clean window. It's actually seen through this kind of muddy window. It's more like a mosaic of you - done in stained glass. And some pieces of that stained glass are clear and shiny and maybe bright yellow or bright green. And over there is dark blue and in the corner is some red and there's some yellow, some bursts. I mean, we're very complicated things. As people we are not simple, and confidence is in one of those pains - in that multifaceted stain glass window. That is you. So let's look at this window. It's made up of you - your age, your gender, your education, Your cultural frame of reference, or you know, kind of where you grew up. But most importantly, what affects your confidence is assumptions, your beliefs and your attitudes, your attitude towards yourself and your attitude towards the world in general. Now, what the heck has this got to do with public speaking? I'll tell you, when you get up to speak, all of those things operate in the back of your head and influence the way you see yourself. When you get up to speak, you see your hardest judge is not the audience. In fact, the audience will cut you slack. Your harshest judge is yourself. And it's based upon your beliefs, your attitudes, your assumptions, your cultural frame of reference education, gender age. It sort of goes this way. If I ask you a question, what do you feel about public speaking? Well, if you say, um, I'd feel nervous about public speaking. So what, what do you do when you get up to speak? Well, you feel nervous about it. You are nervous. So the result is, is that based on what you think about public speaking influences, the way that you feel and what you feel influences, what you do and what you do, your result will be judged, and it will be added to what you think of public speaking. Let's go through that cycle once more. So here you are, you're getting up to speak and you feel nervous, and you are predicting your own failure by thinking I'm nervous. I'm gonna make a mistake. So what do you do? What action? What result happens is you start off with a mistake. So what's, what do you get? When you get a mistake, you get more nervous and that reinforces your belief that you shouldn't be a public speaking , or you shouldn't get up to speak. Now let me put it in a different analogy. Let me give you a different way of looking at it. If we were to apply those rules or that way of thinking to a child, learning to walk for the first time, we'd all end up in what our mothers and father's arms. We, nobody would learn to walk. When you learn to walk, you stand, and you hold the edge of a table, or you roll over. You fall down, you get up, but the desire to walk and be like the adults around you is so strong. It's inherent in you that you walk. You learn to walk because I think what I think I do what I do because I do what I do. I get what I get. So if I think I'm going to be nervous, or I think that public speaking is terrifying because I think what I think, ah, I feel, eh, well, I feel pretty terrified. Yeah. And if I feel terrified, how will I actually do not very well? And so what's the result I fail at public speaking, or I judge simply put your confidence, has to do with your own internal challenges towards the way you think about yourself. Because of, because “I think what I think - I do what I do - because I do what I do. I get a result. So if I think I'm gonna be terrible, chances are, I will be terrible. I get a result the way the audience thinks I'm terrible. And I think I'm terrible. Mostly the result, I probably would never get up to public speed if we use that model over and over again in life, we get, we get nowhere. But here's the thing. None of it is actually true because it doesn't matter what you think. It's ...
