Self-respect and the ability to see our worth, is the aspect that enables us to cultivate harmony within ourselves. Having self-respect sets us up to have cordial and harmonious interactions with others. Without self-respect, chances are, we adopt a chaotic lifestyle. 

“Character — the willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life — is the source from which self-respect springs.” Joan Didion

It occurred to me the other day that the reason I sometimes struggle to do the things I plan to do could be because I do not respect myself sufficiently. I am too familiar with myself and thus I can cut myself too much slack, as they say, familiarity breeds contempt. Come to think of it, why is it that most times we are quick to meet a deadline set by someone else but without serious discipline, we can easily forgo some deadlines we set for ourselves. This usually puts me in a rut of sorts, and the result is procrastination. I easily say “I will do this tomorrow…” and tomorrow could turn to many days later. Yet on the other hand, we take seriously deadlines set by others such as clients, bosses, leasing companies, our bills, public and private services that we seek etc 

In other circumstances, we meet deadlines when we give our word or commitment to a friend, someone we respect, a co-worker or an acquaintance. We strive to put our best foot forward to keep our word since our reputation is on the line. Failing to meet these deadlines can be detrimental to our reputation. It can go to show whether we are reliable or not. 

I think when I respect myself, then I will make every effort to meet the commitments and deadlines I give myself. In my view, this leads to harmony within and harmony with those around me since I will keep to the commitments I make. 

I think the way you carry yourself illuminates your way and ensures others respect you too for who you are and what you stand for. Ideally, the worth you place on yourself, has lots of bearing on how others perceive you and treat you. It is akin to this story told of the blind man with a lamp. There lived a blind man in a small town. This man, even though he could not see, he carried a lamp with him whenever he went out at night. 

One night, when he was going back home after dinner, he met a group of young travellers. They could see he was blind, but were puzzled by the fact that he was carrying a lamp. They started questioning him and making fun of him. One of them asked him “hey man, how come you are carrying a lamp yet you are blind and do not need it?!”

The man answered “Yes I am blind and I don’t see anything, this lamp is for people like you who can see. You may not see me coming and may end up hitting me and pushing me off the path. That is the reason I carry the lamp.” The group of young travellers was ashamed of their behaviour and apologized to the man. 

 When you are in a place where your self-respect and your worth is valued and shines, then it enhances harmony within yourself and harmony with those around you.  

Self-respect is protective to us. It ensures that we are not shaken by the views of those who do not perceive our worth or value. Consider what Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said  “He that respects himself is safe from others. He wears a coat of mail that none can pierce.”

There is no harmony without self-respect. No harmony without seeing the value you bring to society, your family, your friends and the people around you. When one does not see their worth and lacks self-respect in an increasing measure, they can easily descend into a chaotic lifestyle. For us to live an inspired harmonious life, we should have self-respect, we should know our worth and the value we bring. As Robert Holden said “Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.”