S6 Episode 11: Science Says High Self-Esteem is the Greatest Predictor of a Stable Romantic Relationship

Episode Summary

High self-esteem is a key ingredient to a happy life. When you love yourself, you know your worth and are able to set healthy boundaries. People with a strong sense of self-worth do not allow others to mistreat them. They are comfortable communicating their wants and needs and are realistic about their expectations for a romantic relationship.

Moreover, self-esteem plays a large part in self-confidence. Individuals who believe in themselves tend to be naturally confident which is a very attractive trait. As a result, they have more options for romantic partners and are seen as more desirable mates.

In many ways, robust self-esteem is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you believe you deserve to be treated with respect, you will behave in a manner that demands respect. As a result, you will receive respect from other people, which only reinforces the idea that you deserved it in the first place. When you love yourself, it is easier for others to love you.

At the end of each episode, Marlee and Lis vent about commonly experienced issues in romantic relationships. In this episode, the ladies discuss the insulting situation when one partner tells the other to “calm down” when they are angry or upset.

Show Notes

High self-esteem isn’t emphasized as much as it should be in a healthy relationship. When you have a good sense of self-worth and you recognize your value, you’re confident in what you offer your partner. It also makes you clear about your expectations and what you deserve. People with high self-esteem are typically accurate and truthful about who they are.

A person who likes themselves sets healthy boundaries. They are also often immediately liked and respected by others. They don’t require a lot of reassurance or handholding. A person with high self-esteem never settles and can typically find more opportunities for romantic partnerships.

On the other hand, if you have low self-esteem, you may let people treat you poorly. Your expectations and standards may be low because that’s how you view yourself. A Romancipated person cares about self-preservation and doesn’t settle for anything less than they deserve. You are in charge of your life, so you owe it to yourself to value your worth.

Most people who have strong self-esteem are very well rounded. They have lots of elements and layers to who they are. They’re comfortable being alone, and they can exist in conflict without shutting down. They’re engaging and communicative. These qualities tend to make them ideal partners in romantic relationships.

In this episode, the vent session topic is: When your partner tells you to calm down when you are angry or upset. Never has telling someone to “chill out” or “calm down” actually worked. It’s just another way of telling someone to shut up. It’s a phrase often used against women to reduce them to irrational hysterics. It’s infuriating, disrespectful, and counterproductive.

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