• The Hemingway of Hat-Tricks
    Nov 28 2024

    In this week’s Reminding You Why You Love Football, Owen Blackhurst is back in big chair, and is babysitting Asad Raza and Matt O’Connor-Simpson to talk about dark times, audience retention, 5 stars, the joy of Discord, the skip incident, James in Milano, three pints and 18 fags, Asad Bird-White, The Legion of Gloom of Longform, two internationals in 48 hours, an audience with Tommy Gravesen, hats off to Hummel, having no skin in the game, coaching mode, Marc Cucurella, quiz-meister Seb on the ale, Matt on the Spot, Colin Wanker, Asad’s peak, The Naked Gun, PlayStation memories, FIFA fallouts and sulky losers, throwing down the gauntlet, bumbling around Germany, Baller League, KSI, a wooden Figo and Ronaldinho in a kimono, dodgy promos, a Trump trivela, Salah’s torso, Owen on the Jack Kerouac in size 14s, the Bukowski of badge kissing, the Hemingway of hat-tricks—Van Hooijdonk, knowing your value, telling it straight, banging in goals and banging kits, Turkish fans on social, Chris Wood, build your own St Pierre, outing Matt, Claude Puel, Arda in the limelight, Hooijdonk at Fenerbahçe, right place: right time, Peep Show, warm-ups, photo evidence, hard balls, football lingo, Dobby Club, Matt on the Spot again!, Arne Slott penitentiary candidates, Ancelotti at Everton, power cuts, “air quotes”, Craig Bellamy in his element, characters, nice cults, Keane at Ipswich, being rude, Owen giving the eye, phoning it in, falling off your bike, a cupping session, wellness, listening to your elders, looking up a setlist, Seb on the line from his sick bed, shit on the pillow, and somehow so much more.


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    1 hr and 7 mins
  • Del Piero is a Celebrity...(Don't) Get Him Out of There!
    Nov 21 2024

    In this week’s Reminding You Why You Love Football, host Tommy Stewart is joined by Asad Raza and Sebastian White to discuss the bloody trains in this country, having a dry mouth, a banging review, drinking the Kool-Aid, non-league love, Highland League action, mad crab fishermen, Seb behind bars, obstructing a copper, hyperbole, The Figo Affair, a John O’Shea nutmeg, mad scorelines, 8–2!!!!, leaving early, being stuck in the carpark, Danny Welbeck, not having a Saloman, Toy Story, Lancashire Day, an honest man, putting a hitman on Drogba, 3–3, Marshal Josip Broz Tito, balding producers and handsome men, legendary marquee signing Del Piero Down Under and a love letter from Sydney, a beer shower, watching the A League, a Middlesborough legend, Ian Crook, banging free kicks, BOYS!, Aussies being lovely, co-commentator bants, Sydney FC in Italy, Elvis in Copa Mundials, Luca Toni on his knees, Filippo ‘Offside’ Inzaghi, Rise United, football culture and cultural pride, cool stickers, creating memories, gorgeous footy tops, DRIP, a brilliant Google map, Asad’s mum’s dhal, TEFL in Thailand, pasta and pizza, amuse-bouche, a glossary of football terms, Shaolin Soccer, massive animals down a wormhole, The Gooser and The Mooser, swimming with turtles, OJ’s Football Shirt Restorations, Shelbourne United, Jordan North, losing your favourite shirt, crap quizzes, quiz team names, Life Leadership and Love: A Faux Legend, gaslighting Jimmy Anderson, and somehow so much more.


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    1 hr and 7 mins
  • Nani Does Disneyland
    Nov 14 2024

    In this week’s episode of Reminding You Why You Love Football, host Seb White is joined by Tommy Stewart, Asad Raza, and Matt O’Connor-Simpson to talk about Owen’s absence, Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, Kim Jong-un, Seb cutting a dash, Matt cracking a smile, a Justin Bennett review, Steve Claridge, Gianluigi Buffon, Carl Anka and Flo Lloyd-Hughes in the house, World XI keepers, FIGHT!, Gus Poyet, Poogate, being sacked live on air, World Toilet Day, Dumb and Dumber, Jim Carey, Sebby on the Spot, Keane & Son, Scholes & Son, Sporting Lisbon, a love letter to Nani, finding your home in Orlando, texting Kaká and Rooney, “Welcome to my stadium”, MLS retirement homes, “Oi, naan bread”, backflips, showboating, All-Stars, meaningless matches, first proper stadium, first proper kit, Taz the Tasmanian Devil, more woke nonsense, Jack Grealish, old men, Player of the Year, purple hair, Whovians, the space-time continuum, James Corden, Matt Smith the baller, number yerleven, Serge Pizzorno, proper Blackburn, crap movie goalies, Stone Island, Johnny Marr looking cool, Balotelli, books for boilers, The Maccabees, The Turnaround on Netflix, Asad’s sex playlist, piles, electric sponsor boards, Mr Tumble, the shit Carabao Cup format, Charlie Austin, “Turn your f*****g phone off”, and somehow so much more.


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    1 hr and 3 mins
  • Let’s put on our Classics and we’ll have a little dance
    Nov 7 2024

    This week we've got another special episode from the archives for you as the lads have remembered they’ve also got a magazine to make. At Hotel MUNDIAL, our week-long event during the start of EUROs, we sat down with our mates Tom Armstrong and Luke Hodson for a chat about all things Reebok and the impact the brand has had since it was established in 1958. Tom’s creative strategist for Common People, Luke’s the founder of Nerds Collective, and they’re both streetwear experts. If you're listening on Spotify, please add your favourite Reebok story to the comments. Enjoy this episode. Normal service will resume next week.


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    24 mins
  • There is a Wright That Never Goes Out
    Oct 31 2024

    Back again from Spotify, Owen Blackhurst, Seb White, Tommy ‘Friend of the Stars’ Stewart, and Matt O’Connor-Simpson discuss Hall Owen, Halloween, Mischief Night, Goose Night, Banter Night, Theresa May, Garrincha’s Goat, E.T., Keith Laird, yellow cards, Matt the Referee, mental career decisions, speeding tickets, the relegation zone, knock-door run, Sebby on the Spot, skeletons, Scream masks, Francesco Totti, Borat, Raging Bull, Sacha Baron Cohen, Oscars for banter, 24, Prison Break, Alejandro Garnacho, Reece James, bad tattoos, Johnny Marr, The Smiths, Steve Wright, Kwik Save, Ian Wright, Burnley, Jimmy Anderson, Mattchin, Felix White, Greg James, Roy Keane, Stan Ternent, Tony Livesey, Tommy’s Rolodex, Trevor McDonald, Nasser Hussain, Robbie Fowler, Michael Owen, Yeovil, England, Steph Houghton, The Woke League, cysts, surgeons, Bupa, Poopa, Park FC, Privet Eye, Tayler Wilson, Pass-A-Ball project, Alan Carr, Life’s a Beach, Mark Lawrenson, Hull, Sam Davy, Peter O’Toole, SpongeBob ShitHead, segregation at non-league, Gosport Town, the Wealdstone Raider, the Hampton Fridge Raider, Vinnie Jones, FC United, Scott McTominay, McFred, McRib, Napoli, Blackbeard, Sir Alex Ferguson, Seb’s sick day, Antonio Conte, Big Sexy, Star-Spangled Yanners, Peter Carey, Jack Maggs, Shell Island, Sud Light, Stephen Merchant, 4G, 5G, Germany, L/XL/XXL, Jacamo, Rik Waller, Mr Wu in Chinatown, on the day pull outs, three week bans, and so much more.


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    1 hr and 9 mins
  • Diego Maradona’s G-String
    Oct 23 2024

    Live from Spotify, Owen Blackhurst, Seb White and Tommy Stewart are joined by a returning Asad Raza to chat ‘A little place called heaven’ Hatti, a hat, Manchester Piccadilly, “rain sodden bowels of the city”, a spiritual experience, the Gunfight at the OK Corral, “I’m your Huckleberry”, Josh Wood, Bill Murray’s haircut in Kingpin, Glenn Hoddle v David Beckham, the sunglasses emoji, England U-17 winning the World Cup, Phil Foden, Jadon Sancho, Kendal Mint Cake, Garrincha, The Maracanã, “dealers choice”, Alessandro Del Piero, Battle of Agincourt, Plymouth, Portsmouth, MDMA v Huel, “internal latrine”, Popeye’s, Ronnie ‘Chicken Biryani’ Irani, “wears his banter on his sleeve”, Stephen Merchant, Vince McMahon, Diego Armando Maradona, “How am I doing, Boss?”, “speaking out loud”, performance-enhancing drugs, playing football on ketamine, Seville, Carlos Billardo, Bukta, camera super lenta, Nick Hancock, the forgotten Maradona goal, Diego Simeone, the Enigma machine, football’s Alan Turing, Davor Šuker, Boca Juniors (A), Marseille, ring binders, Maradona or Messi, Monchi, The Frying Pan of Spain—Sevilla v Real Betis, gastric bands, Sporting Enigma, Shaolin Soccer, Golden Leg, Steel Leg, Team Evil, disillusioned monks, Armageddon, Michael Bay, Harry Porter, Graham Potter, “Who cut your hair? Dynamo?”, Mizuno Wave Riders, The Hong Kong Cup, sweeper-keepers, ’The legends of The Football Factory’, Marching Powder, Cocaine Bear, This American Life, John Wayne, Church Party at Stage & Radio Manchester, Asad’s terrible accents, Texas Joe’s, jalapeño cornbread, pretending to like baseball, Eastbound and Down, Jay Gatsby, “cut and shut cars”, and so much more.


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    1 hr and 19 mins
  • Claridge 3:16
    Oct 16 2024

    Live from Spotify, Owen Blackhurst, James Bird, Seb White and Tommy Stewart are joined by a new signing in Matt O’Connor-Simpson to chat the Queen’s relationship with the Beautiful Game, Leeds United, The Banter Years, Seb on the Spot, Oooh Arrggh, Oooh Arrgh Arrgh, tractors, turf respecting, Diego Armando Maradona, little onions, Babel fish, El Pibe de Oro, The Dungeon Master, Sam Allardyce, Robbie Savage, The Gates of Hell, The London Beer Flood, snooping, El Pibe de Weirdo, football origin stories, Cole Palmer vibes, Tim Sherwood doing the celebration, Roberto Soldado, Steve Claridge, Gosport Borough, Dennis Wise, Callum Davidson, Mangotsfield Town, Cider… Cider… Cider, pissed in Bideford, Manish Bhasin, The Football League Show, ‘Down the Mol’, Chim Chim Cher-ee, The Dolphins, SpongeBob SquarePants, play-off final, sniffing for goals, The Double-Decker Bus Stand, not having a nickname, 2 Weetabix 3 pieces of white bread and a tin of baked beans, a pot-bellied dwarf, 6ft 4in jumps 5ft 3in, Green Street, Billy Knot, flat roofs, hoodwinked, The Football Factory, Spirit of Football, Mr McMahon, The Premier League's Attitude Era, Jake the Snake, ‘Would football be better if it was scripted?’, Austin 3:16, Goalie Wars, The manager taking the fifth penalty, 28 Months Later, the post-match debrief, FODMAPs, Boycott The National League Cup, Stone Cold Steve Austin, and somehow so much more.


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    1 hr and 1 min
  • Enter Shaqiri
    Oct 9 2024

    ** This week Owen Blackhurst, Seb White, James Bird, and Tommy Stewart chat about football but also discuss mental health issues. If you are affected by any of the issues discussed, please visit thecalmzone.net or samaritans.org or phone the Samaritans on 116 123 **


    Live from Spotify, the old gang are back together as Owen Blackhurst, James Bird, Seb White and Tommy Stewart talk Roy Orbison, Ghetts, Joy Guidry, Puressence, Metallica, trainspotters, Francis Bourgeois, MUNDIAL digital, Héctor Bellerín, West Didsbury & Chorlton FC, Owen Blackhurst’s Goal of the Month, trains, Dave and Sharons, Matthew Le Tissier, Seb on the Spot, allies, conspiracy theories, Bill Gates, George Weah, Alan Brazil, Ray Parlour, Pulp Fiction, David Beckham, Arsène Wenger, John Hartson, John Travolta, Les Dennis, Extras, Ronaldo, Xherdan Shaqiri, Barclaysmen, Stoke City FC, Basel, Bayern Munich, Kolkata, vodka & tonics, Liverpool v Manchester United, José Mourinho, Jürgen Klopp, Turkey hair, Goodison Park, David Beckham, Daniel Podence, Charlie Adam, The Masters, Duck magazine, BMX, Marko Arnautović, the Stoke accent, the Black Country, Bojan, BoJack Horseman, hyperbole, Hermione, misled, Elliot Hackney, Seb and the Queen, Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, George H. W. Bush, Tiger Woods, Walt Disney, Colin Montgomerie, blue slacks, World Mental Health Day, talking to your mates and strangers, CALM, Jonny Sharples, Manny Singh Kang, coming out, LGBTQ+ in football, the Rainbow Devils, Old Trafford, NFL, Miami Dolphins, the noise away fans make, pooptracking, “Man on!”, Arne Slot’s outfits, Lee Carsley, the national anthem, Erik ten Hag, LimeBikes, The Avengers, and somehow so much more.


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    1 hr and 15 mins