Episodes

  • Pursuers

    Pursuers
    Jan 29 2025
    We hate absolutes, but are pretty confident in saying that every relationship has a pursuer and a withdrawer. In this two part series we are breaking down each of these roles, how to help, how to love, how to communicate. And if there are two podcasts you listen to of ours let this be them! In this episode we discuss: The protective moves that pursuers gravitate towards How pursuers handle conflict How we can love our pursuer partners more How there is a different energy between pursuers and withdrawers Sponsored Cozy Earth - Visit Cozy Earth to get the comfiest sleepwear and sheets on the market! Use code IDO for 40% off. Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    59 mins
  • Withdrawers

    Withdrawers
    Jan 22 2025
    We hate absolutes, but are pretty confident in saying that every relationship has a pursuer and a withdrawer. In this two part series we are breaking down each of these roles, how to help, how to love, how to communicate. And if there are two podcasts you listen to of ours let this be them! In this episode, we discuss: The protective moves that withdrawers gravitate towards How withdrawers handle conflict How we can love our withdrawer partners more How there is a different energy between pursuers and withdrawers Sponsored Cozy Earth - Visit Cozy Earth to get the comfiest sleepwear and sheets on the market! Use code IDO for 40% off. Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    36 mins
  • You Can Either Be Right Or Be In Relationship.

    You Can Either Be Right Or Be In Relationship.
    Jan 15 2025
    In this episode Colter, Cayla, and Lauren dive through what it means to be relational over being right. We've heard it said before that you can be right or you can be in a relationship. Which is so hard when you like being right as much as we all do! We also dig through how we get so focused on the content of the conversation but how the process is really what is important. In the episode, we touch on topics such as: Focusing on how vs what Understanding emotional needs Effective Communication Strategies Why we are not pavlov’s dogs and more! Sponsored Cozy Earth - Visit Cozy Earth to get the comfiest sleepwear and sheets on the market! Use code IDO for 40% off. Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    58 mins
  • Individuation Is The Key To Your Relationship

    Individuation Is The Key To Your Relationship
    Jan 8 2025
    In today's episode Colter, Lauren and Cayla explore the relationship between emotional needs and actionable requests in the context of individuation. They discuss how recognizing individual differences and pairing emotional needs with specific requests can enhance communication and connection in relationships. The episode highlights practical strategies for navigating common relational challenges, emphasizing the importance of understanding and negotiating needs. In the episode, we touch on topics such as: Understanding Individuation Emotional Needs vs. Actionable Requests Raw Spots and Their Influence Negotiation and Boundaries Effective Communication Strategies and more! Episode Links Actionable Requests Document Emotional Needs Document Sponsored Cozy Earth - Visit Cozy Earth to get the comfiest sleepwear and sheets on the market! Use code IDO for 40% off. Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    47 mins
  • 490: The Window of Tolerance And Staying Emotionally Regulated

    490: The Window of Tolerance And Staying Emotionally Regulated
    Jan 2 2025
    In this episode of Relationship Advice, Colter Bloxom, Lauren Mokarry, and Cayla Bozovich explore the concept of the "Window of Tolerance," a framework developed by Dr. Dan Siegel. They discuss its importance in maintaining emotional regulation and improving relationships. The hosts delve into how understanding this concept can help navigate stress, build resilience, and foster healthier interpersonal dynamics. In this episode we discuss relationship advice topics that include: Window of Tolerance Overview Emotional Regulation Fight, Flight, Freeze Impulses Triggers and Resources Relational Applications Practical Tools Sponsored Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Episode Links Thrive Therapy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    53 mins
  • 489: What Can You Learn After 500 Episodes? Chase Celebration!

    489: What Can You Learn After 500 Episodes? Chase Celebration!
    Dec 26 2024
    On this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren sit down with the long-running Relationship Advice podcast host Chase Kosterlitz as he reflects on ten years of hosting, sharing key lessons/insights about relationships and emphasizing the importance of friendships and somatic practices for personal growth and relational well-being. In this episode we discuss topics that include: Chase's Reflections on Hosting Attachment Styles Effective Communication Balance in Relationships Friendships and Support Networks Therapeutic and Somatic Practices Sponsored Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    54 mins
  • 488: Foundations of a Healthy Relationship

    488: Foundations of a Healthy Relationship
    Dec 18 2024
    This episode introduces the foundations of a healthy relationship through four key pillars. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren use relatable examples, such as navigating differing preferences in dance lessons or understanding the dynamic between pursuers and withdrawers, to illustrate these concepts. They emphasize the importance of shared language, emotional safety, and empathy in building deeper connections. Rather than prescribing rigid rules, the episode advocates for learning and practicing relational skills through therapy and real-life experiences. In this episode we discuss relationship advice topics that include: Emotional Regulation / Window of Tolerance Recognizing/Breaking Negative Cycles Vulnerability Emotional Connection Roles of Boundaries Building Skills Through Practice Sponsored Quince, this holiday season, give the gift of luxury without the luxury price tag with Quince. Enjoy free shipping on your order and hassle-free 365-day returns at QUINCE.COM/IDO. Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    52 mins
  • 487: Protective Moves

    487: Protective Moves
    Dec 11 2024
    In this episode we sit down with licensed therapists and our incoming Relationship Advice hosts Colter, Cayla, and Lauren to talk about the "protective moves," or behaviors people exhibit during conflict to shield themselves emotionally or regain a sense of control in relationships. These 3 are experienced therapists specializing in attachment, trauma, and anxiety, explore how these moves—like defensiveness, criticism, passive aggressiveness, avoidance, or over explaining—are common yet often disconnecting strategies. Key Points Include: Understanding Protective Moves Examples and Intentions Origins and Patterns Moving Through Conflict Building Resources The hosts emphasized that while protective moves are natural, fostering awareness and understanding can transform them from barriers to bridges in relationships. They closed by advocating for patience, self-compassion, and communication to navigate these dynamics effectively. Sponsors: Quince, this holiday season, give the gift of luxury without the luxury price tag with Quince. Enjoy free shipping on your order and hassle-free 365-day returns at QUINCE.COM/IDO. Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    52 mins