The final episode of this satirical monologue reveals its rather sad underbelly. When Kiki-Jean's ex-husband's new wife, Cyndi-Lou Redgrave ("Not her real name. She wanted everyone to think she was one of the Redgraves. Vanessa was furious when I told her."), wins Best Newcomer at The Tartan Tammies, her infamous outburst ("I must have hit rock bottom to use such language in front of Zoë Wanamaker") all but destroys her life, as fantasy finally meets reality. © Jonathan Fortingall, 2024.

Mrs. McShoogle meets Nicola Sturgeon ("the daintiest wee feet this side of William Hague") and hosts a block-booking for the Scottish Tory party conference ("to think I turned down John Barrowman for this"). She recalls her controversial appearance in the British remake of Charlie's Angels, Wayne's WAGS, and the biggest night of the year, the Scottish Drama Awards - The Tartan Tammies ("Best Foreign Language Film went to Lorraine Kelly - A Life Well Lived"). © Jonathan Fortingall, 2024.

Now the glamorous proprietress of the 'oldest and dampest theatrical digs in Strathbogie', Kiki-Jean McShoogle welcomes "Britain's greatest living actor" to her humble home while trying to find the off button for the mob from musical theatre. Meanwhile, she enlists royal (after a fashion) support for the local rep theatre and defends the surprise onstage nudity which led to the greatest mortality rate in Greater Perthshire since 1897. © Jonathan Fortingall, 2024.

Following her moving portrayal of the demonic lollipop lady in Crimewatch on Ice, and a glamorous library assistant in a terrible, terrible Dostoevsky, Kiki-Jean Mankini watches in horror as Helen Mirren bags all the best roles. Fleeing the limelight, she returns to her home town and theatrical capital of Scotland, Strathbogie, and walks straight into the arms of Maurice McShoogle, proud owner of the biggest rugby player thighs in central Scotland. © Jonathan Fortingall, 2024.

A child prodigy in Mary and Joseph: Put a Ring on It, and graduate of the prestigious Monica Glen School of Drama and Car Maintenance, Kiki-Jean Mankini achieves top billing, thirteen below Moira Stuart, in a two (and a half) week run in London's West End, and off-off-off Broadway (so far off-Broadway it's in Connecticut). This is the frankly unbelievable tale of a small town-lassie with big dreams, who became a legend in her own living room. © Jonathan Fortingall, 2024.