Oh hey! Guess who has a secret? Not us. We tell everything to the pastor at confession and we do it twice a week. He knows everything and he hates to see us coming. You know who doesn't hate to see us coming? Santa. Enough of about us, though. This week we talk about the Netflix original (original is kind of stretch), Our Little Secret, which is a movie that exists! It stars Lindsay Lohan as a business professional, Ian Harding as not Donny Osmond but still kind of, Tim Meadows as Tim Meadows but with a different name, and Kristin Chenoweth as Atlas for carrying this movie on her back. Wanna know what we think of this movie? Listen to the end to find out.

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Who? Us? Just dropping a house on your sister and stealing her shoes. But now that we've committed multiple crimes and gotten away with it all while dressed in blue and white gingham, we present to you this week's magical episode, Wicked! You already know that the cast is stacked, but if you're new to life and freshly out of the womb, it stars (in Elphabatical order), Ariana Grande as a popular, Cynthia Erivo as green, Jeff Goldblum as a "wizard" with a throbbing secret, and Michelle Yeoh as a sneaky snake in gorgeous brocade. Wanna know what we think of this movie? Listen to the end to find out.

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Hiya! We're back again despite the public outrage and there isn't anything you can do about it. This week we crawl out of a stagnant body of water and bring you an episode straight from everyone's favorite streaming platform, MAX. This week we discuss the swampy boat ride, Caddo Lake, which stars Dylan O'Brien as Paris minus the Hilton, Eliza Cnalen as Ellie in this reality and Ellie in that reality, and some other people who are perfectly good at acting! Wanna know what we think of this movie? Listen to the end to find out.

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Hey there! Are you surprised to see us? We're shocked as well, but alas, here we are with another episode that'll have you wishing for tick bites! This week we talk about the A24 movie, Janet Planet. It's about a mother and daughter just living their best hippy lives in the middle of effing nowhere with nothing but time on their dusty hands. It stars Julianne Nicholson whose freckles are the real star, b*tch, Zoe Ziegler as too aware of what's going on, and Sophie Okonedo who has so many film credits she could spend them. Wanna know what we think of this movie? Listen to the end to find out.

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Hi there! Sorry not sorry for the absence (and abscess), but we're back once again with another episode straight from your favorite back-alley dumpster. This week we discuss the MAX original, Salem's Lot. It's a spoooky vampire movie that stars everyone we mention in the episode, so you'll just have to listen to it if you want to know who stars in it!

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Let's try that again! My little witch finger got in the way of that last upload. Enjoy our thoughts and prayers of the wild Demi Moore and Margaret Qualley film THE SUBSTANCE directed by Coralie Fargeat!

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Need a little Lupita Nyong'o in your life? Then listen to Travis and John discuss the third installment of A QUIET PLACE. This one is definitely not quiet, but it is a place -- New York City, babes! Directed by someone and starring some other people, A QUIET PLACE: DAY ONE really tells the tale of one gal and her sentient cat friend whose names we can't remember.

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Hey Meanies! Tim Burton's back with BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE. And, yeah, it looks like we're getting a third down the road. Spoiler Alert! Not for plot, but for storylines. Is it good? Is it bad? Listen to learn what Travis and John think about this bonafide blockbuster starring Jenna Ortega, Winona Ryder, and Catherine O'Hara. It stars nobody else. Queens only. In that case, we'll Theroux in Justin cuz he's an ally.

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