One of the most important things you can do to find strength in duality is to learn to listen to your own voice.

This can be difficult, especially if you're used to hearing your inner critic telling you all kind of lies just to keep you safe. We create a narrative that allows us to stay safe in our world.

But it's important to remember that your inner critic is not always right. In fact, it's often just your fear talking, it is mean and diminishing.

Our inner voice is more gentle, maybe not sweet, but will always tell you what you need, even if it is not what you want.

Learning to distinguish your inner voice from your inner critic, can help you prevent unnecessary arguments, learning more about yourself and allow you to expand your world to embrace your and your partner's culture.

We are finishing the triad of things that could harm your relationship with the inflexibility of our thoughts, which creates a vicious circle of resentment, frustration, shame and regret.

When being in a bicultural relationship, it is critical to stay opened minded, because the way we grew up, our community, our family, our culture, religion, social and financial status, have shaped the way we think. And if our partner was raised in a completely different culture, our way of thinking will be different.

Trying to be right is a survival trait a lot of us have learned to use based on our experiences. But when you are past the point of survival, being flexible, open minded to explore together with your partner your differences, can be the difference between having a struggling relationship, or even a decent relationship and having a fulfilling realtionship.

Cultural shock#2 that could be hurting your bicultural relations is the "silence Struggle". How many of us stay quiet because we want to maintain the peace, because that is what we are supposed to do according to society.

In a relationship, we have expectations both for our partners and for us. They are both cemented in the way we were raised. How we are taught to think and behave, this is exactly how we will expect our partner to behave and how we will come behave ourselves, because we don't want to dissapoint.

But looking to not disappoint other, we end up disappointing ourselves for not speaking up, for doing things that are not important to us, but we have become used to. The silence struggle prevents us from speaking up our mind and going with the flow to keep harmony in the house, at the cost of our own personality.

Eventually this silence will cost us a lot, we start delegating decision of everyday living because we have lost that ability to go after our goals and our dreams.

What are things that you hate doing, but you do anyway because you are supposed to do?

We all have expectations, it is normal as we live in a society which starts programming us since early childhood.

We are expected to behave in a certain matter, but what happens when you get together with someone from a different culture, who grew up following a different norm. Which expectations are completely different than yours?

Are your expectations reasonable when you take your partners cultural differences into consideration, and if they are, have you communicated them?

communication is key in any relationship, but in a bicultural relations, where expectations are completely different, it is critical talking about them. Making sure unmet expectations don't turn into resentment and frustration that can ruin then relationship

Let's be honest, all parents worry at one point or another of our lives about ruining our kids.

It seems this never goes away, no matter if the kids are 5 or 50, we wonder if we could have done it better. But when it comes to bicultural/bilingual kids, we have one more thing to worry, will they be mock at school for having an accent, will the not fit in because our traditions are different.

It is normal that kids will eventually prefer the language they hear the most, their brain is developing and it will incline for the one they practice the most, but, most of the times, we see this as a rejection to us instead of a normal part of development.

By raising bicultural/bilingual children, we are giving our kids the gift of expansion and resilience. Knowing it is OK to be different, being weird in their own way.

Our children will create their own culture and if we allow it, they will thrive in it.

Boundaries is an "in" word, but for a big part of the Latin community, this is a foreign word.

We were born in a culture where togetherness, community and little space is highly valued. This might explain some of the issues and cultural shocks we have when we arrive or marry someone from the USA where individualism and personal space is highly regarded.

But personal boundaries are important to feel safe. It is not about others, it is about us.

To set healthy boundaries, we need to get to know ourselves and understand what is important to us. That is the first step, then:

• Define what is important for you
• Decide on a boundary that will supports what is important
• Decide what are you willing to do if this boundary is violated
• Communicate that boundary. A secret boundary is not a boundary!
• Communicate the result of a boundary being violated

Setting boundaries will be difficult at first, specially if you have never had them, but it is worth it. They will also not be permanent, they will change and evolve as you do.

Communicate with your partner, when you set boundaries in a bicultural relationship, it is critical to keep the communication opened, your partner needs to know what is important to you and same in the reverse.

Honor yourself and your parent by setting boundaries that will reinforce your relationship.

Have you ever wonder why you think the way you do and believe what you believe? If not, think about it for a moment.

When you were born, you had a brand new hard drive that was eventually programmed to function in the culture, country, family and environment that you were born into.

However, there are so many thing that we learned that are just not helpful. As children, we didn't have options, but as adults, it's time to ask ourselves if we still want all those beliefs.

We have embraced so much those limiting beliefs that have become part of our personality, we define ourselves with them: I'm shy, I'm loud, that's just the way I am, art is not my thing. We simply accept them as facts.

These phrases seem simple and innocent enough, but those are beliefs we have ingrained in our subconscious that sometimes prevent us moving from having a great life to an amazing one!

Our beliefs are not static, this is how we know they are learned and not facts, they change and modify with time and our life experiences.

But what if you decide to challenge your beliefs and change anything you don't want any more?

After all, beliefs are like shoes. We use them to get to a certain point and when they wear off, we change them! You might need to break them in to be comfortable in them, but you can certainly move forward to your dreams one step at a time.

What would you do if you could do anything?