• Guest Name: Sandra Bellamy, also known as the Asexual Entrepreneur.
• Notable Works: Author of "Asexual Perspectives: 47 Asexual Stories About Love, Life and Sex."
• Achievements: Speaker at Blue Talks in Oxford, co-author in "Business Life and the Universe, Volume 11."

Key Topics Discussed:

1. Understanding Asexuality:

• Definition: Asexuality is a sexual orientation characterized by a lack of sexual attraction.
• Personal Perspective: Sandra identifies as a hetero-romantic asexual, meaning she is romantically attracted to men but does not experience sexual attraction.
• LGBTQ+ Inclusion: Asexuality is part of the LGBTQ+ acronym but is often misunderstood.

2. Discovering Asexuality:

• Personal Journey: Sandra realized she was asexual after a counseling session in 2014, leading her to research and discover asexuality.
• Community and Awareness: Sandra emphasizes the importance of recognizing asexuality as a valid sexual orientation globally to reduce fear and ridicule.

3. The Asexual Community:

• Population Statistics: Approximately 1% of the global population is asexual.
• Support and Resources: The online forum www.asexuality.org is a major resource for asexual individuals and their allies.

4. Asexual Perspectives Book:

• Content: The book answers common questions about asexuality and includes diverse personal stories from 46 asexual individuals.
• Purpose: To dispel myths and provide real-life examples of what it means to be asexual.

5. Misconceptions about Asexuality:

• Common Myths: Asexuality is often confused with celibacy or abstinence, which are choices, whereas asexuality is not a choice.
• Diverse Experiences: Asexuals can have different levels of comfort with sex, ranging from sex-neutral to sex-repulsed, and may engage in various sexual activities without sexual attraction.

6. Personal Boundaries and Challenges:

• Overcoming Fears: Sandra had to overcome shyness and fear of discussing sex openly.
• Mindset Mastery: Emphasizes the importance of taking action and pushing through personal fears to achieve goals.

7. Advocacy and Education:

• Public Speaking: Sandra's experiences with public speaking and organizing meetups have boosted her confidence and ability to advocate for asexuality.
• Education: Uses her platform to educate others about asexuality and promote understanding.

8. Publications and Contact Information:

• Books: "Diary Confessions of a Hyper Romantic Asexual: 78 Life Lessons to Ace Your Life" and "Asexual Perspectives: 47 Asexual Stories About Love, Life and Sex."
• Blog: www.asexualized.com
• YouTube: Asexualize My Asexual Life
• Social Media: Facebook (asexualized), Twitter (asexualized), Instagram (asexualized official)

Social Media:

Website: alansimberg.com and lifemasterywithalan.com

Email: alan@alansimberg.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AlanSimberg.LifeMasteryConsultant/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alan-simberg/

Instagram: alansimberg.therapy

Show Notes: Interview with Khara Croswaite Brindle

Introduction

• Guest: Khara Croswaite Brindle
• Licensed Mental Health Therapist in Denver, Colorado
• Roles: Financial Therapist, TEDx Speaker, Burnout Consultant, Author, Professor
• New Book: Understanding Ruptured Mother-Daughter Relationships: Guiding the Adult Daughter's Healing Journey through the Estrangement Energy Cycle

Pathway to Becoming a Mental Health Therapist

• Khara shares her journey
• Personal experiences with therapists and being a confidant for others
• Emphasizes the importance of having someone to bounce ideas off and heal

Personal Experience with Mother-Daughter Relationship

• Teenage years were challenging, bordering on a rupture
• Improved relationship in adulthood
• Insights from personal experience informing her book

Assumptions About Estrangement

• Common misconceptions: impulsive, spiteful, petty
• Painful assumption: therapists encourage estrangement
• Therapists focus on boundaries, trauma, abuse, and neglect
• Importance of bridging gaps and understanding relationships

Teenagers and Parental Boundaries

• Teenagers often influenced more by peers than parents
• Developmental stage of independence and defiance
• Importance of parents meeting their children where they are

Helping Parents with Acting Out Teenagers

• Initial step: Listening to parents and validating their concerns
• Family therapy: Facilitating communication between parents and teenagers
• Recognizing patterns in behavior and underlying causes

The Estrangement Energy Cycle

• Eight stages:

1. Cycle of Abuse
2. Questioning
3. Relationship Rupture
4. Estrangement (Physical and Emotional)
5. Grief and Loss
6. Discovering Sense of Self
7. Deeper Work (Attachment, Parenting, Breaking Generational Trauma)
8. Redefining Self-Worth

Challenges in Mother-Daughter Relationships

• Difficulty for mothers to acknowledge mistakes without feeling like bad parents
• Emotional reactions from mothers can hinder reconciliation
• Importance of acknowledgment, apology, and action from mothers

Individual Healing

• Many women end up doing solo work if reconciliation isn't possible
• Therapy focuses on self-healing and moving forward

Advice from Khara's Book

• Book aimed at adult daughters and their supporters (therapists, mentors, coaches)
• Normalizing experiences and providing relatable stories
• Practical advice and stages of the estrangement cycle

Golden Pearls of Wisdom

• Communication and understanding are key
• Each person's journey is unique, and reconciliation timelines vary
• The importance of neutrality and compassion from loved ones
• Do's and don'ts for supporting someone experiencing estrangement

Conclusion

• Estrangement and healing are complex, requiring time and effort
• Khara emphasizes the need for personal work and mutual action in relationships
• Her book provides a roadmap for understanding and navigating