Wondering how to deal with overthinking and what to do about it? Well, it might not be easy at all, but here are a few thoughts.
If you look for the word overthinking in the dictionary, this is what it comes up: think about (something) too much or for too long.
Some people can’t seem to turn their concerns off.
They worry about the future, they make catastrophic predictions about events that haven’t even happened yet.
They also ruminate about the past, beating themselves up about “should haves” and “could haves.”
How crazy is that? Raise your hand if this sounds familiar.
But there’s nothing to be afraid of, overthinking has become somewhat normal.
Everything happens for a reason but sometimes we don’t believe it’s true or we simply don’t know it.
Yes, and in fact we tend to look for connections between life's happenings.
We are constantly looking for an explanation in what happens to us, we look for a logic that explains past events and people we randomly met during our lives.
Oddly, we always remember hows and whys and are inclined to wonder why we couldn't do better than what we did.
What have I made wrong? Why did I not see this coming? Where should have I gone instead?
We are literally obsessed with controlling whatever happens around us, we demand an explanation for every single event in life as we are looking for something to keep us safe from future suffering.
But what can we do to feel better?
I recently ended up watching some content from an Italian psychologist, Roberto Ruga. I was hooked, if you speak Italian, check it out…
This video is genuinely inspired by his thoughts on the matter, he said that:
“True artists jump from one metaphor to another, they have an artistic approach to pain and existence in general, they strive to grasp the world through their heart.”
“And to be able to do what they are able to do, we must learn to observe with our hearts. This means we should slow down, observe things with the attention they deserve.”
If a person comes into our life we should assume that he or she is the right person to meet with us at that specific time and event.
He assumes that nothing happens by chance and every person who crosses our life does it to teach us something, for better or for worse, and finally to support our evolution as better individuals.
Everything that happens to us has a meaning and an ultimate purpose that is very important to understand.
Anytime we start something new, we are in the best possible circumstances to leave behind what has just finished… and by the way, possibly we have not loved it at all.
We should always carry on thinking about what has enriched us, we should be thankful for the experience we lived and what we learned from it.
If I met a person along my path, that is probably because I have chosen to walk that path in the first place. I did it because I wanted it and at that time I thought it was the right choice for me.
So, there is no point in overthinking on why certain decisions have led us away from the main route. I only learned what would work for me and what would not.
Thanks to this I became even more aware of where I want to go and what I want, and this should be where our thoughts and energies should be focused on.
To sum up, the past can no longer be changed. Period.
It's not possible to feel well if we haven't first learned what made us feel bad in the first place, and only if we know how to get the best out of our experiences we will be able to feel fine.
Let me know your thoughts in the comments below.
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