How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.

It’s episode 294…and I'm sorry, it seems I wore my long legs today.

Longlegs (2024) follows FBI agent Lee Harker, who is assigned to the case of a serial killer who is apparently responsible for compelling several patriarchs to murder their families across multiple decades, with the only trace being cryptic letters signed ‘Longlegs’. Can Agent Harker prevent more murders, and will Longlegs’ origins prove to be closer to home than she thinks?

We talk about the horror movie dubbed ‘the scariest film of the decade’, the highs and lows of a film that wants to be both arthouse and popcorn, a creepy character that evokes Old Gregg and Jennifer Coolidge, the importance of getting out of the car and whether investigating your own mum counts as a conflict of interest. Plus, isn’t it annoying when Satan inverts a trend?

All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: Our prayers protect us from the devil.

Next time on the main feed, it’s the concluding part of Ti West’s X trilogy with MaXXXine (2024), while over on the Patreon we’re watching I Saw The TV Glow (2024).

aka Vermines (2023)

It’s episode 292…and are you interested in animals?

Infested/Vermines (2023) tells the story of Kaleb, a young man with a passion for selling sneakers and buying bugs. Living in a multicultural melting pot of a tower block, his friendships have become strained following the death of his mother. Can he reconnect with his Jordy, his childhood best friend, and reconcile with his sister Manon? Anything is possible if you move forward with grace and acceptance. Oh, and he also bought a new spider and it’s escaped. Probably fine.

We talk about a genuinely horrific set of spiders doing spider-y things, rave about the best bathroom scene since Mandy, pull apart the potential of PPE and wonder whether an armed policeman shouldn’t be more ‘yes and’ in his approach to life. All that, and the question on everybody’s lips - who would survive the spider tower best out of Batman, Spider-Man and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: something that kills that fast is impossible.

Next time on the main feed we’re catching up with the 2024 horror on everybody’s pale painted lips: Longlegs (2024).

How to Survive is now on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to get every episode one week early, plus monthly bonus episodes and more.

It’s episode 291…and would anyone object if I tore this floor out?

Arachnophobia (1990) takes us to the sleepy Californian town of Canaima, via the jungle sinkholes of Venezuela, to follow the story of the newly arrived family physician Dr Ross Jennings. When townsfolk begin dropping dead in mysterious circumstances, Jennings suspects foul play of the eight-legged variety, but is it just his Arachnophobia talking? No, as we’ve seen the spider, and it’s been biting and killing people.

Death comes to a Spielberg-inflected sleepy suburbia as we talk about spiders vs. dead mammals, another in a long line of creepy coroners with bad food hygiene, programmes you’d take your phone off the hook for and why an entomologist suddenly becomes a spider-freak.

All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: A web would indicate an arachnoid presence.

Next time on the main feed, it’s Spider season, with creepy-crawly classic Vermines/Infested (2023), meanwhile it’s Shyamalan time on the Patreon with Knock at the Cabin (2023).