Healing Codependency is a six-part deeply personal podcast series that will offer you an intimate look at how and why I am the woman I am today. In this episode, I’ll share how letting go of relationships as fix-it projects allowed me to have the Big Love. I cannot think of a time where having faith in love wasn’t at the root of each of these episodes. 

The basis of my relationships before my husband were viewed as projects for me to fix. I thought my value was offering a way for someone to better themselves and earning love by being useful. Meeting my now-husband wasn’t a “love at first sight” moment. I thought he was an incredible guy –– that wasn’t my type. I illustrate our time in a ceremony where I witnessed him praying, a visceral shared connection in a Sweat Lodge… and the realization that I needed to end my current relationship. 

I share moments from our first date, including not feeling “good enough” for him, and how his emotional connection (to things I don’t agree with or understand), allowed me to open my heart up. I recognize a level of presence and truth that allows our relationship to expand, even as it shifts from day to day. My husband has supported my sobriety journey, the challenges I faced with my brother, and my decision to become a Codependency Counselor. He provides me with unwavering acceptance and a celebration of who I am. A true, Big Love.

I’ve learned that unconditional is my job to give to myself. We each have the capacity to know ourselves in order to clearly understand our own wants, needs, and experiences. In my codependency groups, I offer people some tools that may help them love themselves more and in turn receive more love in general…..which is the most glorious thing about being alive. 

All in together. All for love . All feelings are welcome. 

Thank you for listening and thank you to my podcast producer Media Midwife Ahri Golden for helping me bring my story to life. 

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, TuneIn, Player FM, or on your favorite podcast platform. 

Topics Covered: 

• My initial reaction to my now-husband
• The experience of witnessing my husband pray 
• My feelings around not being “good enough” for my husband
• Our marriage practice to love each other and leave each other alone
• Individual agency to practice non codependency in every relationship
• Non codependency as a personal healing job

Get in touch: 

• Connect on Instagram 
• Learn more on my website 
• Be the first to know about upcoming workshops

Credit:

• Sponsored by Supah Star Dark Chocolate Superfood Bars and

Healing Codependency is a six-part deeply personal podcast series that will offer you an intimate look at how and why I am the woman I am today. In this episode, I’ll tell the pivotal story of my relationship with my brother, and how letting go of a codependent relationship liberated both of us. This is the reason why I'm doing this work, and why this podcast exists.

The origin of my codependency story began the day I saved my 2 year old brother from drowning in our childhood pool. From then on, I assigned myself  my brother’s keeper. I detail how my codependent relationship was a high priority throughout my life, from intervention and rehab to being his accountability partner, all the way to relapsing in my home… around my husband and children. 

I share how clarity from sobriety provided a level of reality I was willing to acknowledge and accept, including having to make an intensely painful decision before the holidays. There was intense grief involved, but ultimately I knew I did the most loving thing for him and me. When a death in the family brought us back together, I felt peace about the situation, whether there was accountability on his side or not. 

I illustrate markers of being in a codependent relationship and share the two gifts I received from this experience. I now know that every person is capable and in charge of themselves and their own life. The codependency was simply the relationship I created between myself and my brother’s potential. Letting go of the cycle always outweighs the discomfort. 

Thank you for listening and thank you to my podcast producer Media Midwife Ahri Golden for helping me bring my story to life. 

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, TuneIn, Player FM, or on your favorite podcast platform. 

Topics Covered: 

• The day my brother moved into my house
• The timeline of events relating to my brother’s addiction issues 
• Codependent patterns I noticed about myself 
• My internal struggle with the type of sister I wanted to be
• The grief that surrounds making the hard, but right, decision 
• Two significant gifts I received from this experience  

Get in touch: 

• Connect on Instagram 
• Learn more on my website 
• Be the first to know about upcoming workshops

Credit:

• Sponsored by Supah Star Dark Chocolate Superfood Bars and Godseye Oils
• Podcast Production by Media Midwife Ahri Golden
• Podcast art by

Healing Codependency is a six-part deeply personal podcast series that will offer you an intimate look at how and why I am the woman I am today. In this episode, I’ll share how letting go of the position to get back at my dad allowed me to see the love that was always there.

I witnessed my parents get divorced over my dad’s infidelity. After that, I stopped speaking to my dad. I was determined to find a way to “get back at him.” Eventually, I shut it all down and became someone who labeled themselves as having “no dad.” It wasn’t until 2004 — 10 years later — that I started trying to remember what I was even mad about. 

I share the feeling of allegiance to my mom and how that pain caused me to express resentment and hate toward my dad, and suppress love in the process. I illustrate our first conversation in a decade during my brother’s wedding and how there was so much relief in that moment — I realized it took so much time and energy to be mad at him. I share how we began to heal our relationship, including him joining my whole family at my wedding. I also share the last conversation we had before he died, and how that created a beautiful shift in my perspective about our relationship. 

During the 10 years that I didn’t speak to my dad, I had to actively ignore the love and pretend it didn’t exist. I now understand that my allegiance to my mom was my codependent creation that I thought was love, but it was actually the opposite. While painful, my dad and I were able to open love back up. At one point, I didn’t actually believe it or feel it, but the love stays. Being right is an illusion. Love is all that matters. 

Thank you for listening and thank you to my podcast producer Media Midwife Ahri Golden for helping me bring my story to life. 

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, TuneIn, Player FM, or on your favorite podcast platform. 

Topics Covered: 

• My allegiance to my mom after my parent’s breakup 
• Seeing my dad again at my youngest brother’s rehearsal dinner
• Our father-daughter reunion at my wedding 
• The last conversation we had before my dad died 
• Realizing that “the love stays” 
• Gratitude for my blood dad’s contribution to my DNA
• Maturity about my parent’s marriage being none of my business 

Get in touch: 

• Connect on Instagram 
• Learn more on my website 
• Be the first to know about upcoming workshops

Credit:

• Sponsored by Supah Star Dark Chocolate Superfood Bars and Godseye Oils
• Podcast Production by