Welcome to Mysteries to Die For. I am TG Wolff and am here with Jack, my piano player and producer. This is a podcast where we combine storytelling with original music to put you at the heart of mystery, murder, and mayhem. Some episodes will be my own stories, others will be classics that helped shape the mystery genre we know today. These are arrangements, which means instead of word-for-word readings, you get a performance meant to be heard. Jack and I perform these live, front to back, no breaks, no fakes, no retakes (unless it's really bad)

This is Season 1. The first half of the season comes from my book Widow’s Run, which was published in 2019 by Down & Out Books. If you love clever, sharp-edged mysteries and thrillers, check out Down & Out on the web. www.downandoutbooks.com

Today’s episode builds from the previous episodes. Really, you have to listen in order for the story to make sense. Start with the first episode called “What a Lovely Corpse you Have” and catch up to us. We’ll be here for you. We’ve listed a cast of characters in the show notes to help keep track of the players.

To recap, our hero, Diamond, has faked her death, burying the mainstream, suburban professional she was to resurrect her CIA cover. Why? She needs to do what the police won’t, investigate her husband’s death. In the last episode, Diamond had her sights set on Rome, the place of Gavriil’s death, but was sidetracked by an interloper who raided her refrigerator. With Andrew Dixon safely away from his abusive father, Diamond can finally, finally catch that plane to Italy.

Today’s story is about a lion, 15-letter words, and a room key. This is Episode 5: Grieving Widow Seeks Husband-Seducing Biotch. 

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Characters introduced so far

Diamond, our hero. Recently widowed. Recently (fake) killed herself. On a mission.

Gavriil Rubchinsky. Russian-born, nerd scientist specializing in quinoa. Diamond’s husband. Died May 14, 2018. The reason for Diamond.

Ian Black. Average, ordinary, white man. Extraordinary purveyor of anything, anywhere, anytime.

Sam Irish. British agent. Formerly worked with Diamond. Pissed she died without him.

Andrew Dixon. Seventeen-year-old genius delinquent currently surfing Diamond’s couch

Carlo Giancarlo. Diamond’s Italian translator and partner in crime.

Dr. Quili Liu. Gavriil Rubchinsky’s successor, a Chinese-born, nerd-scientist who also loves quinoa.

Enrique Torres. CIA agent who trained and worked with Diamond. Can’t believe a candle took her out.

Alexei Rubchinsky. Russian-born, nerd scientist specializing in the body. Diamond’s brother-in-law.

Montgomery Rand. Minor league con man. Reported genius who doesn’t have the brains to use what God gave him.

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Mysteries to Die For is sponsored by Down & Out Books The featured new release this week is Pushing Water by Dana King. Just because Penns River is an economic backwater doesn’t mean it’s immune from current events. An active shooter at a local discount store leaves several people dead and the shooter in the wind. Maybe. It’s hard to say as the man arrested at the scene definitely shot someone but claims to be a Good Guy with a Gun.

Meanwhile, a Canadian fugitive lands in town and pulls a job to tide him over while his cache of cash makes its way across the border. He and his partner—a local just dumb enough to serve a purpose—see an opportunity and begins a robbery spree while the police focus on clearing the mass shooting.

The usual small-town hijinks go on: There’s a robbery in the new strip club, an old woman wanders off, a domestic situation that starts as an...