"Those are my toes!"... 'nuff said. What could possibly go wrong in the steam room of a classy Vegas hotel spa? Well, tune in, 'cause Joel Alpers is about to tell you.

Two lessons from Joel Alpers:

1. Don't be cocky.

2. Fake it 'til you make it.

Joel plays a gig for a Catholic Fundraiser and has an unfortunate run-in with a megalomaniac.

And later Karma becomes a friend to the band.

This story is cringe-worthy.

Joel explains what happens when you're playing drums in what appears to be a cave backstage on a Broadway national tour and your monitors drop out.

And what happens when you put a lazy boy chair in an orchestra pit.

Joel is a sub for a well-known band and must share a hotel room with a complete stranger.

The stranger had an awful night, and in return, it forced Joel to lose sleep, have strange dreams, and an awful naked encounter that was unwanted.

This is one of my favorite road stories.

We'll just call this one "DAVE".