Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace

By: Becky Kolb Estrangement and Relationship Coach
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  • Summary

  • Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace Podcast is hosted by me, Becky Kolb. I help parents who are estranged from their kids - whether a small child or adult. Estrangement is often called the silent epidemic because people bury their emotional pain deep inside. It's difficult to talk about and you don't want to burden your friends with your sad story. And you may feel guilt and shame like I did and that just exacerbates the issue.

    You struggle to make sense of a child you loved and cared for since birth has abandoned a relationship with you. And you may also battle family (or ex-family) who sides against you and contributes to the estrangement. In either case, you are blamed.

    My estrangement came in two instances. As an infant when my biological father left me and my mother and later in life when I divorced and gave up an adopted daughter. And then post-divorce, my ex-husband was killed in a one car rollover and I was blamed. Wrought with guilt and shame, the estrangement lasted 7 years and my son and his family are still distant.

    Growing up in a Christian family, I struggled with some of the decisions I made and even more so with family who judged and rejected me. I felt God was judging me and had also abandoned me. But it was during that estrangement that God pursued me and overwhelmingly poured out his love and mercy and forgiveness.

    The God I thought rejected me was standing with arms wide open waiting for me to turn around. Consequences from some of my decisions lingered but his love and forgiveness carried me through. It was a relationship God wanted with me. Not religion. It was life changing. And it's what brought about reconciliation and restoration of my family. Relationships today that are stronger than ever before.

    I felt a strong sense or call to share my story. God seemed to be impressing upon me that I had suffered guilt, shame and estrangement and so do others. He wanted me to share his influence with me and how he could help others like you too.

    My own story of estrangement is steeped in my faith and the amazing things God did for me and my family as we reconciled. I share that story in podcasts and blogs, but it isn't something I push on anyone. I coach people with other faith beliefs too and have a deep respect for everyone's decision and right to religious freedom.

    CONNECT with me at www.beckykolb.com
    DOWNLOAD my story at: www.beckykolb.com/guide
    © 2025 Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace
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Episodes
  • 24: Move Past Estrangement to Pursue Peace

    24: Move Past Estrangement to Pursue Peace
    Jan 31 2025

    How do you move past estrangement so that you can pursue peace? That question came to me recently as I pondered what topics I could share with my audience of women dealing with estrangement.

    It came through a devotional I read that joy and peace are the doorways for us to live by the power of the Holy Spirit. Joy is a deep-seated contentment found in knowing God’s presence. Peace calms our hearts amid chaos, allowing us to trust in his plans.

    Only by letting go of the past hurts and emotional pain can we embrace the assurance that God is in control. And that’s really what we want, right?

    My podcasts up to now have covered many topics around how to manage emotional pain. And if you haven’t gone back to listen, I encourage it.

    Moving forward, I will focus on how to move past estrangement so that you can discover the lasting peace you desire. And it all starts with letting it go. Stay tuned!

    Find the full transcript for this episode plus resources for women at Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at beckykolb.com/24.

    Send me a text…what topics do you want?

    Becky Kolb helps people with estranged relationships find peace and the ability to move forward from guilt & shame, learn to live with the relationship as it is, overcome a shredded self-esteem and develop boundaries and non-negotiables for healthy relationships. And the result is living your passion and purpose! Contact Becky at www.beckykolb.com/contact
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    10 mins
  • 23: What Does a Healthy Relationship Look Like Amid Estrangement?

    23: What Does a Healthy Relationship Look Like Amid Estrangement?
    Jan 28 2025

    If you’ve had an estranged relationship with someone, chances are you would love it to become a healthy one. Most who have estrangement also have relationships that are fun and enjoyable. You find yourself attracted to those people.

    You can’t get enough of the joy and love emanating from relationships like that. Yet, the estranged one is part of the mix. Whether a family member, close friend or co-worker, conflict within that connection affects you more than you may realize.

    Is it even possible the conflictive one could become healthy? What would that look like? Stay tuned to today’s episode where we’ll talk about what healthy relationships look like and how you can ensure you have one with yourself.

    Find the full transcript for this episode plus resources for women at Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at beckykolb.com/23.

    Send me a text…what topics do you want?

    Becky Kolb helps people with estranged relationships find peace and the ability to move forward from guilt & shame, learn to live with the relationship as it is, overcome a shredded self-esteem and develop boundaries and non-negotiables for healthy relationships. And the result is living your passion and purpose! Contact Becky at www.beckykolb.com/contact
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    15 mins
  • 22: How to Stop Replaying Hurtful Words in Estrangement

    22: How to Stop Replaying Hurtful Words in Estrangement
    Jan 22 2025

    Are you ready to stop replaying hurtful words that have been spoken to you? It’s a sad but fact that families can say the most hurtful things to one another. And if you’re on the receiving end, it’s hard to get those out of your mind.

    Have you ever streamed a favorite show or movie, and the dreaded spinning circle appears? It’s called buffering and it is quite annoying.

    Hurtful words can be like that when the hurtful words spin in your mind and all you want to do is shut it off and get back to a peaceful life. I’ll talk about that in today’s episode and give you some tips so that you can ground yourself and discover peace.

    Find the full transcript for this episode plus resources for women at Estrangement: Turning Pain into Peace at beckykolb.com/22.

    Send me a text…what topics do you want?

    Becky Kolb helps people with estranged relationships find peace and the ability to move forward from guilt & shame, learn to live with the relationship as it is, overcome a shredded self-esteem and develop boundaries and non-negotiables for healthy relationships. And the result is living your passion and purpose! Contact Becky at www.beckykolb.com/contact
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    9 mins

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