Music: Majestic Nature by Craig Stuart Garfinkle Artwork by Steve English The script: Episode 7 - The Outsider ‘Wretched gargoyles!’ Thornton looked at the irate Baron with a blank expression because he knew there wasn’t anything they could do about them. ‘Yes sir,’ he replied while slowly turning his back on the Baron. ‘Like so many other things in this place, they are a real nuisance.’ ‘I mean … I know I keep saying it,’ the Baron continued, not realising he was being progressively ignored by Thornton, ‘but a Manor the size of Manor Rott, Grott & Snott shouldn’t even have gargoyles! They’re from a bygone age! And have you seen the size of them? They’re about two or three times the size of any other gargoyle I’ve ever seen!’ Wagging his finger vaguely in the direction of the roof, he half turned to address the fast disappearing back of Thornton. ‘Maybe if we could work out where the wretched things came from, we could somehow convince them to go back?’ Thornton didn't bother replying as this was a conversation that had rehearsed many times. He did note, however, that the word of the moment continued to be 'wretched' and hid a slight smile as the Baron looked up at the various gargoyles, solid as stone, but in the strangest places all around the roof and on the walls of the Manor, while mumbling 'wretched things' over and over to himself. As the Baron stood staring at the gargoyles (which was about the worst thing you could do with them because they never moved or showed any sign of life when someone was looking at them), a van appeared, driving through the gates of the Manor. Neither the Baron nor Thornton acknowledged it as they knew it wouldn’t be for them. = Roseberry was always flustered when the doorbell rang. It wasn't so much being disturbed, although it seemed she was always about as far away from the door as possible when the bell rang, as the surprise it rang at all! As she bustled her way towards the front door, she came into the grand entrance hall and made a point of ignoring the over-large moose head on the wall above the mirror. It also seemed to be ignoring her as it chewed on something unseen with its attention fixed on a couple of flies rotating in different directions under a huge chandelier. Hurrying through the hall, Roseberry tried to remember the last time anyone had rang any of the bells to the Manor. It had been a long time. As she reached the front door and pulled it hard a couple of times to overcome its reluctance to open (it had a habit of sticking when it rained), she heard footsteps outside walking away. 'Hold on, will you!' she shouted rather loudly through the door. 'I can't get this wretched thing open. Can you give it a shove from your side?' As she shouted, Roseberry heard the footsteps halt and then return to the door, followed by a gentle but ineffective shove. 'You'll need to shove harder than that!' she exclaimed. The person outside gave a quick, decisive shove and Roseberry saw a blinding white light and lots of stars. 'Oh, ‘eck!' said a voice. 'I'm so sorry.' It carried on apologising, as Roseberry felt strong arms grab hold of her and pull her firmly but gently into a sitting position. 'Could 'ave sworn you said to give it a good shove. I 'ad no idea you'd be right behind it!' A few minutes later, Roseberry was sitting by the kitchen table nursing a reasonably bold lump while a rather anxious man moved smoothly around searching for teabags, pot and mugs. (If he had known Roseberry’s attitude towards mugs, he’d have been looking for teacups.) As the kettle boiled, it made some rather worrying noises, squealed and squeaked and eventually came to the boil while the man watched, looking somewhat concerned. A couple of minutes later, after picking up the mug of hot, strong tea and taking a sip, Roseberry took a long, deep breath and turned to give the stranger her full attention. She ignored the moose head which seemed to have made its way Support this podcast
