We watch the first two episodes of the 20th anniversary serial “The Five Doctors” in which the Doctors and their assorted companions get transmatted to the infamous Death Zone on Gallifrey... but none of them actually die? As said surviving is going down, the Doctor acts sexist, the Doctor attends the Brig’s poorly attended retirement party, the Doctor drags Sarah Jane behind Bessie, the Doctor gets stuck in the transporter buffer (that’s for you Trekkies), all whilst the Doctor is going through a “phase”. And that’s about as clear as the plot was to me.

Now that our podcast locks its bedroom door, ignores us, and calls us ‘stupid’, we give it space to let it explore itself as we discuss Series 14. Whilst said ‘special time’ is occurring (it’s natural... we all do it...), friend-of-the-show-Tim asks us which random Doctor/Companion pairing would ‘do it’ (ship much Tim?), we recycle past Drunktor Who talking points (which ones you hear depend on what Steve deems broadcast worthy), and John presents Steve with another bracket... this time involving music used on this season. I sure hope the McCartney/Lennon classic ‘I Love My Dog’ wins! Spoilers sweeties...

We watch “Empire of Death” (Series 14, Episode 8) where the Doctor realizes this season’s big big bad is a bad bad boy... oh yes you are... you are soo bad.... So whilst Sutekh is ‘Thanosing’™ the universe, Mel travels down memory lane, the Doctor goes spooning with a ‘kind’ woman (oh did we already get over Rogue? too soon Doctor... too soon...), and Ruby gets the lamest origin story. Even Hawkeye is like ‘Wow... that (John-E filter engaged) shit is weak’. Get it? Cuz Hawkeye is so lame as to not use a swear? Sigh... nobody gets me...