Healing is already hard, but when you are surrounded by people who don't want to heal it's even harder. How are you supposed to heal if those around you don't want you to? Healing is something we all need to do and I understand how hard it is when there are people around you who try to hold you back. Sometimes they don't even realize that they are doing it. Healing is a difficult journey and sometimes you have to do it by yourself, especially in the beginning. Honestly, you are never done healing. Every day you get better and better. You start becoming more of who you are as you peel the layers back. Don't let anyone or anything stop you from discovering who you are meant to be. Healing around those who refuse to heal teaches you many lessons as well. In the healing process, we all go through this situation where those around us will trigger our old habits. Can you stop that old habit from triggering? You may have a setback and that is okay it's not the end of the world. You just continue working on yourself.

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Why is it that so many of us want to make others happy? Is it how we grew up, are we born like that, is it our societal values, or is it the fear of judgment? The list of questions can go on and on. Maybe it’s different for everyone.

Selfish has such a negative connotation around it. As we’ve learned though, being selfish is the key to happiness. How many of you out there spread yourself too thin? You make time for everyone else, but never for yourself. You give your time, money, and effort, to people who definitely don’t deserve it. For those in this situation, I have a question, are you happy?

It is okay to say no. It is okay to stay in for the night instead of going out with your friends. It is okay to not want to hang out with your significant other or your family. Don’t let others people guilt you or make you feel ashamed for doing something for yourself. You are allowed to take time for yourself and focus on your happiness.

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What is going on in the romance department? Why does society put so much stock in romantic relationships? Why do we settle? Is it because of society, and if so how do we get out of that? We settle for many reasons. out of guilt and shame, we may be scared of being alone, and we may just do it because that is what society wants us to do. When we settle we are not living authentically. Being in an inauthentic relationship hurts us. Not only is settling inauthentic but not being yourself in a relationship is in-authentic. You have certain standards in a relationship. Not everyone has the same standards, so you need to find the ones that are authentic to you.

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We must learn to love ourselves fully. Even with all of our flaws. We go through things in life that hurt. It shoots our confidence, we become self-conscious. We began to hate our bodies and ourselves. We start to compare ourselves to others. We need to learn how to love our whole selves. This includes who we are inside and outside. Hating who we are is just miserable and it’s not a fun place to be. All of the crap we go through is there to build us up. These things help build up our confidence so we can move on to the next stage of our lives. This includes all the things you consider to be flaws and quirks. You cannot truly embrace yourself if you only love certain parts. You need to love all the parts that makeup who you are.

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Part of being authentic is being honest about some of the internal problems you have. We can’t hide them or pretend they aren’t there because they come out no matter how hard we try to bury them. We lash out or put our issues on to others. For me, my biggest issue is trust. This is not an uncommon problem to have. Healing the trauma behind my trust issues has been the hardest thing I ever had to do. Not only did I not trust myself but I didn’t trust others nor did I trust the universe. After I examined my trust issues I decided it was time to do something about it or I would never have peace. First I began with trusting myself, then I began trusting the universe. As I healed myself in those two aspects I began having more trust in those around me.

You were born a whole soul and the events of your life are what caused you to break. That’s not permanent you can become whole again you just have to be willing to put in the effort.

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If you don’t know what you want to do for the rest of your life, it’s okay. Don’t feel ashamed about that. Don’t let anyone rush you or push you in a certain direction. Chances are that is not the direction you want to go. The best thing you can do for yourself takes time to get to know yourself. You are not your authentic self when living for someone else. Are you living for yourself or someone else?