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Conflict is a topic that impacts every one of us at some point in our lives. A couple of weeks ago we talked about an important tip to reduce conflict in divorce and that was to stop expecting something different and accept that your partner will continue to show up with the same core personality traits they’ve always had. As we were coming to the end of that conversation, Tracy really wanted to talk about the 3 primary sources of conflict. So as promised, today we’re diving into that.

One of the early theorists on conflict, American psychologist Daniel Katz, distinguished three main sources of conflict:

• Economic
• Values
• Power

As you can imagine, all three are major contributing factors in divorce conflict. Understanding these sources helps us identify the root causes of a disagreement and approach it strategically. And strategy is key when it comes to divorce and co-parenting conflict if you want to spare your bank account and save your sanity.

We explore these three primary sources of conflict and offer some strategies for how you can approach each one to resolve disputes more successfully. Whether you’re facing a tough divorce, a workplace disagreement, or even family tensions, understanding these sources of conflict and the role of emotions can be a game-changer.

Conflict is a natural part of life, divorce and co-parenting, but with the right tools and mindset, it doesn’t have to be destructive.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

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If you want to get more clients, you don't need to make more Instagram reels or write a ton of blog posts. You need to clean up your language.

In this episode Tracy and Debra reveal the truth bomb that successful divorce coaches aren’t selling divorce coaching. They sell a goal plus a result.

The #1 mistake we see new coaches make is using “coachy” language in their marketing materials and in their consult calls. And "coachy" language just doesn’t resonate with potential clients or referral sources.

Your potential clients don’t want to hear about the coaching process or what you think they need - they want to hear how you’ll help them solve their problem and what it looks or feels like when they’ve reached that goal.

Listen in as we deconstruct a typical divorce coaching pitch and show you how to define results that will make any prospect want to invest in working with you.

If you'd like some help to clean up your marketing language, please consider joining our DCA Case Consultation Group where you can meet bi-monthly to share, connect, and get feedback on your business.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

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In this episode we explore the "Big Five" - those core personality traits that tend to be consistent over time and circumstance. PLUS, we share a secret mantra that just may help you and your clients experience less stress when dealing with the difficult people in their lives.

We consistently hear clients express disappointment, frustration, and even rage when their spouse, ex or co-parent doesn’t act or behave in the way they think they should.

And we get it. It’s incredibly distressing to have to be on the receiving end of someone else’s less than stellar behavior. But we have to ask…is this really surprising? While people’s personality traits may get exaggerated during the divorce process, they typically aren’t radically different than the way that spouse behaved during the marriage.

And clients continue to suffer when they continue to expect their partner or co-parent to radically transform during divorce.

Understanding these 5 personality traits can help anyone going through divorce or co-parenting conflict stay grounded in the reality of who their partner is. And that gives them the freedom and agency to decide how to respond.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

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In this episode, Tracy and our DCA Director for Australia, Anne-Marie Cade, are diving into an essential yet often overlooked topic: self-care during challenging times. As divorce professionals dealing with heavy emotional topics, it’s crucial that we care for ourselves so we can continue to care for others.

As we kick off a new year, we think that there is no better time to reflect on how we can prioritize our well-being. A fresh start brings an opportunity to set intentions and build habits that support us throughout the year.

We must acknowledge the unique challenges of working in the divorce space. Divorce professionals—whether you’re a coach, lawyer, therapist, or mediator—are often walking alongside clients through some of the most emotionally intense moments of their lives. While rewarding, this work can also be draining, especially if we don’t set aside time to replenish our own energy.

Listen in as they explore the 3 pillars of self-care for divorce professionals:

1. Awareness
2. Boundaries
3. Restoration

We'd love to hear from you...what self-care practices help keep you renewed and refreshed for this heavy work?

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

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When it comes to buying real estate, the saying is location, location, location. When it comes to negotiating a divorce settlement or parenting plan, we say strategy, strategy, strategy. And whether you’re negotiating at the kitchen table, participating in mediation, or working through attorneys, the same principles apply.

In Getting to YES: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In, William Ury tells us that “standard strategies for negotiation often leave people dissatisfied, worn out, or alienated - and frequently all three”. That’s because most of us have only learned how to negotiate using a style called positional bargaining.

In positional bargaining, parties simply try to outwait, overpower, or out argue each other until someone finally gives enough. They may reach agreement, but it isn’t satisfying for either one of them. Principled negotiation, on the other hand, allows for mutual satisfying solutions and wise agreements.

Listen in as Tracy and Debra review the elements of principled negotiation and discuss the reasons working with a DCA certified divorce coach is the best way to become informed, develop skills and create a strategy so you can negotiate in a way that both aligns with your desired outcomes and minimizes conflict.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

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Who among us wouldn’t like to be a better problem solver? Well, that’s the topic of our conversation today. We discuss the 4 general types of problems most of us face, offer some help for identifying the type of solution that’s right for each, and apply these tips to divorce and co-parenting.

When it comes to solving problems and making tough decisions, people love plans, so they tend to make a lot of checklists, to-do lists, and timelines. And because they want the perfect plan, they often want more and more data to help them create a plan that will give them a sense of certainty. We see this so often when clients get stuck preparing to divorce.

Why all the planning? Because uncertainty feels uncomfortable. Our tendency is to think that more information and a rock solid plan will give us control over future events. But the truth is, the ‘perfect plan’ doesn’t exist.

When faced with a problem or a decision, experts tell us that any action is better than no action; it doesn’t matter what you do, it just matters that you do, in order to learn and move forward.

Instead, having a decision making framework can give you the confidence that a solution will arise. And with the support of a certified divorce coach, you can gain insight and skills to handle difficult situations with less fear, less stress, and less conflict.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

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These days we seem to be living in a society defined by us versus them, black and white thinking, intolerance, fixed mindsets, and lack of curiosity. Not only is conflict remaining unresolved, but our interactions (especially online) seem to pour more gasoline on the fire rather than cooling it off. We see conflict spiraling and escalating at an alarming rate and there seems to be less interest in trying to find common ground or solutions. It’s almost like people are itching for a fight.

We’ve seen family members stop speaking to each other, long time friendships disintegrate and workplaces become minefields.

The question is…where can we go from here? Are we just destined to continue down a path of divisiveness or is there a way to move toward relationship and restoration? We believe that whether it’s politics or divorce and co-parenting, we can apply the same aspects of conflict resolution to both politics and divorce.

Listen in as we explore 6 lessons grounded in the electoral process's emphasis on structure, fairness, and engagement, and how we can adapt them to personal and professional conflict resolution scenarios as well.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

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In this episode, we dive into the significant, but often unrecognized role of ego in divorce conflict. In William Ury’s book "Possible", he identifies how ego plays a significant role in escalating conflicts.

But this really shouldn’t come as much of a surprise. When we focus on being "right" or protecting our pride, we may very well lose sight of the larger goals. This is what we refer to as an inner conflict and there is a critical connection between resolving inner conflict and addressing external conflict. Part of working to resolve inner conflict often involves setting aside ego-driven impulses to prioritize constructive solutions.

We know that divorce can be one of the most challenging experiences in life, and understanding how ego plays into the dynamics can be a game-changer. So, whether you’re going through a divorce yourself or supporting someone who is, listen in as we explore some insights and strategies to help navigate this emotional minefield.

Divorce is never easy, but understanding the role of ego in the process can help you navigate it with more clarity and grace. By recognizing when ego is driving reactions, one can choose healthier responses that prioritize resolution and well-being over pride and resentment.

Divorce coaching can offer clients support to identify when ego is creating obstacles to conflict resolution. Learn more about training to become a certified divorce coach or find a divorce coach at divorcecoachesacademy.com

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com