Episodes

  • Building Resilience and Confidence in Kids: Kevin Baker's Approach to Parenting

    Building Resilience and Confidence in Kids: Kevin Baker's Approach to Parenting
    Nov 11 2024
    On this week's Dads with Daughters podcast, we spoke with Kevin Baker, a certified life coach and father of three. Known affectionately as "Coach Kevin," he offers unique insights into parenting through his personal and professional experiences. This episode delved into various aspects of fatherhood, particularly focusing on raising resilient daughters amidst challenges. Whether you're a new dad or a seasoned parent, the lessons and strategies discussed provide valuable takeaways for all. The Initial Joy and Unexpected Challenges The Joy of Fatherhood Kevin Baker's journey into fatherhood was initially marked by joy and excitement—emotions that many of us can relate to. Upon learning that he would be having a daughter, his initial thoughts mirrored those of countless new dads: excitement quickly followed by planning. From due dates to potential weather conditions, Kevin and his wife wanted to be prepared for every scenario. Navigating Health Challenges However, their plans changed dramatically when their daughter was diagnosed with Tetralogy of Fallot, a congenital heart condition. This unexpected news threw Kevin and his wife into a whirlwind of medical appointments and surgeries. Through three open-heart surgeries, they learned an invaluable lesson about the unpredictability of life: planning is essential, but flexibility and emotional resilience are paramount. Facing Parenthood Fears Head-On Common Fears Like many fathers, Kevin faced immense fears, particularly concerning his daughter's future independence given her medical challenges. His fear extended into other areas, such as her social and emotional well-being. These fears initially overshadowed his joy but evolved over time. Kevin’s story is a testament to the fact that all parents, regardless of their child’s health, share common anxieties about their child’s future. Overcoming Fear Kevin emphasized the importance of addressing these fears constructively. He learned to channel his anxiety into positive, actionable steps. "Letting go of expectations," he said, allowed him to focus on being present, loving, and patient. This mindset not only alleviated his fears but also enabled his daughter to thrive despite her challenges. Reprogramming the Parental and Child Scripts Resetting as Parents Resetting parental expectations begins with a broad perspective on life. Kevin and his wife realized that life’s journey is long and unpredictable. They practiced zooming out to see the bigger picture, understanding that daily worries shouldn't overshadow long-term happiness and success. This perspective shift provided them with emotional stability and resilience, enabling them to navigate their daughter's health issues with greater ease. Empowering Their Daughter For their daughter, reprogramming her mindset involved instilling tools for self-empowerment. Kevin shared how they focused on open communication, consistent encouragement, and helping her develop critical life skills. A significant part of this was educating her about the reality of social media, debunking the myths of perfection that it often portrays. They reinforced her self-worth and capabilities, allowing her to combat negative thoughts effectively. Coaching Tweens and Teens: A Broader Perspective Understanding Teen Angst Working with teens and tweens, both professionally and as a father, has given Kevin unique insights into the adolescent mind. He emphasizes the importance of understanding the thoughts and feelings that teens experience daily. Many teens struggle with feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and a lack of direction, often exacerbated by societal pressures. Strategies for Parents Kevin’s primary advice for parents is to focus on connection and communication. Instead of pressing for immediate answers, he advises listening attentively—considering both words and body language—before responding thoughtfully. He acknowledges that parents might not always be the best confidants for their teens, suggesting the involvement of other trusted adults, like extended family members or professional coaches. Resources and Final Thoughts Kevin's experiences and advice emphasize the importance of patience, understanding, and clear communication in parenting. One resource he recommends is Tara Brach’s book, "Radical Acceptance," which advises parents to pause and breathe before reacting. This practice empowers both parent and child to make better decisions. Closing Insights To summarize, Kevin Baker’s journey offers invaluable lessons for all parents. His emphasis on patience, flexibility, and emotional resilience can guide us all in raising strong, independent children. Resources like "Radical Acceptance" and coaching can also provide valuable support as we navigate the challenges of parenthood. For those looking to explore more about Kevin’s perspectives or seek personalized guidance, he is available through his website, lifecoachkevin.com, and various social media channels. ...
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    26 mins
  • Raising Girls: Efrem Martin’s Story of Love and Dedication

    Raising Girls: Efrem Martin’s Story of Love and Dedication
    Nov 4 2024
    This week on the Dads with Daughters podcast, we had the pleasure of sitting down with Efrem Martin, a dedicated father of four daughters and a passionate advocate for intentional fatherhood. In this engaging discussion, Efrem shared his personal journey, the unique challenges he faced, and his inspiration behind writing his book, "Daddy's Girl's: A Father's How-to in Building Lifelong Relationships with our Daughter's," and starting the Girl Dad YouTube channel. Here are some profound insights from their conversation. The Beginning of Efrem Martin's Fatherhood Journey One of the key moments in Efrem's life was discovering that he would become a father to a daughter for the first time. Reflecting on that time, Efrem admitted to feeling a mix of nervousness and excitement. As a young man of 23 and a Marine transitioning into civilian life, he was embarking on a monumental chapter in his life. Despite some initial fears, Efrem expressed a unique perspective: he always wanted daughters because he believed they would make him a better man. He credited his upbringing, particularly being raised by a nurturing mother in a single-parent household after the tragic loss of his father, with preparing him for this role. He drew strength and inspiration from his mother’s unwavering support and the exemplary male figures—his uncles, cousins, and coaches—who stepped in to mentor him. Overcoming Adversity and Becoming a Role Model Efrem's father was murdered when Efrem was only two years old, fundamentally shaping his upbringing. Though he grew up without a father, Efrem found guidance in other male role models, like his coaches, who treated him like their own son. These experiences instilled in him the importance of having strong, positive male influences and reinforced his commitment to being an involved and supportive dad. Having worked for 20 years in the criminal justice system and 10 years in K-12 education, Efrem witnessed firsthand the detrimental effects of the criminal justice system on children and families. This professional backdrop fueled his determination to ensure his daughters stayed out of the system and thrived in a safe, nurturing environment. Efrem Martin's Philosophy: Raising Free Thinkers Efrem's approach to fatherhood extends beyond mere presence; it is about fostering independence and critical thinking in his daughters. He emphasized the importance of raising his girls to be free thinkers rather than focusing solely on independence. By encouraging them to challenge the world around them and question everything, Efrem prepared his daughters to navigate life with self-awareness and confidence. This philosophy is encapsulated in his self-published book, "Daddy's Girls," where he outlines the stages of development from birth to adulthood. Additionally, his Grow Dat YouTube channel serves as a platform to further elaborate on these concepts, providing fathers with data-driven insights, visual aids, and practical guidance on raising daughters. The Grow Dat YouTube Channel: Fostering a Community of Learning Launched in July 2023, Efrem's Grow Dat YouTube channel is a treasure trove of wisdom and support for fathers. With over 55 livestreams covering diverse topics, Efrem draws from his extensive experience and professional background to offer valuable content. His goal is not to amass a large following but to attract the right audience—fathers genuinely seeking to improve their parenting skills. Unlike other platforms, Efrem’s channel delves into deeper, more complex issues of fatherhood, leveraging his knowledge in criminal justice and education to provide context and solutions. His dedication to building this community organically reflects his commitment to authenticity and meaningful engagement. Looking Ahead: A Vision for Greater Engagement Efrem has ambitious plans for the future of Grow Dat. Starting in 2025, he aims to transform the channel into a more interactive space, featuring one-on-one engagements with fathers. He believes that real-time conversations and shared experiences can enrich the learning process for everyone involved. By fostering a supportive network of dads, Efrem hopes to create a space where fathers can share their struggles, triumphs, and insights in raising daughters. Conclusion: Consistency as the Cornerstone Towards the end of the podcast, Efrem shared his core advice for fathers: be consistent. Consistency, he believes, is the foundation of effective parenting. It provides daughters with a sense of security, allowing them to grow into confident, independent, and thoughtful individuals. Efrem Martin’s journey and insights remind us that fatherhood is a profound and ongoing adventure. Through his book, his YouTube channel, and his unwavering dedication, Efrem continues to inspire fathers to embrace their roles with commitment, compassion, and a desire for continuous growth. For more about Efrem Martin, his book "Daddy's Girls," and the Grow Dat YouTube ...
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    23 mins
  • Adoption, Foster Care, and Fatherhood Strategies wIth Dr. Ryan Senters

    Adoption, Foster Care, and Fatherhood Strategies wIth Dr. Ryan Senters
    Oct 28 2024
    In this week's episode of the Dads with Daughters podcast, we had the pleasure of speaking with Dr. Ryan Senters, a dedicated father of two biological children and nine adopted kids, who also runs a nonprofit, called Ohana, providing housing and support for foster children. We discussed the joys and fears of fatherhood, the challenges of raising daughters, and the importance of being intentional in parenting. The First Steps of Fatherhood Finding Out You're Going to Be a Dad Recalling the moment he found out he was going to be a father to his first daughter, Brooklyn, Ryan Senters felt a wave of excitement and a profound sense of responsibility. He and his wife had been trying to conceive for two years, making the news even more special. Ryan described feeling the urgency to "get this right," a sentiment many new fathers can relate to. "When we found out that I was gonna have our daughter, Brooklyn, just yeah. Sure excitement and a sense of, like, probably responsibility of, like, oh, jeez. I gotta take this serious here. I gotta make sure that I do this right." — Dr. Ryan Senters Overcoming Fears Many fathers admit to feeling a unique set of fears when they learn they're expecting a daughter. Ryan was no different, expressing anxiety about being present and doing everything "right," especially since he lacked a paternal role model growing up. He noted the irrationality of some of these fears but acknowledged how they shaped his approach to fatherhood. "I was just worried that I needed to make sure that I know it's not a right way, but in my head, I was very thick. I had this fixed mindset. I would needed to get this right." — Dr. Ryan Senters The Challenges of Raising Daughters Being a Role Model One of Ryan's significant concerns was modeling the kind of man he wanted his daughters to value in their future. He emphasized the importance of being intentionally present, not just for his daughters but also for his wife, to set a positive example. His daughters, one biological and one adopted, keep looking to him for wisdom and guidance. "They deserve to be independent and helping them develop self-confidence. They need to have a dad in their corner that's cheering them on and an example to what it means to have a man in their life." — Dr. Ryan Senters Balancing Life and Responsibilities As a busy professional and father of many, Ryan discussed the concept of balance. He highlighted the seasonality of responsibilities and stressed the importance of mental reset techniques, like the photo in his garage that reminds him of his primary job when entering his home. Ryan advocates for being an "intentional father" rather than just a "present" one, incorporating activities like tech-free Sundays to foster family bonds. The Adoption Journey Deciding to Adopt Ryan and his wife always felt a calling towards fostering and adopting children. They opened their home to numerous children over 15 years, offering them a loving and stable environment. Ryan shared touching stories about his adopted children, like his daughter Pima, who struggled with her past but found strength and identity within their family. "We have this mantra in our family: you are strong, you are brave, and you are kind. And so when she gets that, you are so strong... That's a big moment for us." — Dr. Ryan Senters Expanding the Family The decision to adopt more children came with challenges. Ryan recalled selling their home to move into a larger space that could accommodate five more children, a testament to their dedication and love. Their nonprofit, Ohana, named after a meaningful family quote, strives to find forever families for kids in need, embodying the belief that every child deserves a family. "Ohana means family and family means no one's left behind or forgotten. And it was so significant for our family." — Dr. Ryan Senters Building a Legacy: Ohana Ryan also spoke about his nonprofit organization, Ohana, which provides crucial support, housing, and family connections for foster children. His work not only benefits his family but extends to helping other families navigate the complexities of fostering and adoption. "Our belief is that every child deserves a family. Our belief is that a kid's past story doesn't define them. And what we have learned is that if a family is consistent and present, any child's past hurts can be healed." — Dr. Ryan Senters Conclusion Ryan Senters' journey is a testament to the power of intentional fatherhood and the impact a loving, supportive family can have on a child's life. His story encourages all dads to step up, be present, and be intentional in their parenting, whether with biological or adopted children. For more insights and stories like Ryan's, check out the Dads with Daughters podcast and consider diving into additional resources available at fatheringtogether.org. TRANSCRIPT (Unedited transcript created with CASTMAGIC) Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]: Welcome to dads with daughters...
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    23 mins
  • Empowering Dads: Strategies for Raising daughters and Creating Family Culture

    Empowering Dads: Strategies for Raising daughters and Creating Family Culture
    Oct 21 2024
    Fatherhood presents unique challenges and opportunities for growth, particularly when raising daughters. In this week's Dads with Daughters podcast, we welcome Don Manning or Crazy Cool Family delving deep into the realities of father-daughter relationships, providing valuable insights and practical strategies for dads committed to being the best they can be. Reframing Teenage Years Understanding and Embracing the Journey A common perception is that the teenage years are inevitably challenging. Dr. Christopher Lewis offers a refreshing perspective, suggesting that with the right approach, these years can be full of positive experiences and growth for both fathers and daughters. Central to this approach is the belief in the importance of a strong family belief system and a nurturing environment. By actively working to build relationships, fathers can play a crucial role in creating a supportive and understanding family dynamic. Personal Growth and Faith Dr. Lewis shares his personal journey, where his Christian faith and a wealth of parenting literature have significantly influenced his parenting style. The emphasis on feeling seen and heard in reversing trauma is a key takeaway, underscoring the importance of emotional availability and sensitivity to a child's needs. Creating a Family Culture Building a Network of Relationships The concept of building a family culture akin to a network of relationships is pivotal in maintaining strong family dynamics. Dr. Lewis emphasizes that this approach can create a cohesive unit where each member feels valued and understood. The ripple effect of this approach is evident in Lewis's own family, where their methodologies attracted interest from others, leading to the development of a curriculum, writing a book, and creating a ministry. Resources for Continuous Improvement Over time, their ministry has developed numerous resources, including parenting books, a podcast, interactive workbooks, and a daily email subscription, all aimed at helping dads improve their relationships with their children. These resources stress the importance of fathers becoming better listeners, more encouraging, and building trust with their children. Challenges for Modern Dads Technology and Connection Modern dads face unique challenges, notably the impact of technology on family connections and the lack of training in relationship-building. The podcast highlights the need for fathers to be proactive in carving out quality time with their children, away from screens and distractions. Spending Quality Time Intentional involvement in everyday activities, be it errands or special outings, is key to building strong bonds. Such consistent, quality time helps in understanding and connecting with each child's unique personality. Vulnerability and Self-Improvement Importance of Being Open and Transparent Both speakers agree that vulnerability—being open, transparent, and admitting faults—is crucial in forming stronger connections with daughters. This openness fosters a sense of trust and mutual respect, which is essential for a healthy father-daughter relationship. Focusing on Self-Improvement Dr. Lewis stresses that presenting the best version of oneself is more beneficial for children than focusing on their shortcomings. This perspective encourages dads to embark on a continuous journey of self-improvement, setting a positive example for their children. Parenting with Faith Over Fear Don Manning’s Journey Don Manning shares his experience transitioning from parenting with fear to parenting with faith. Initially, fear led him to adopt a controlling style, which proved ineffective. Over time, Manning learned that building relational connections was far more impactful than merely enforcing rules. Encouragement and Trust Manning emphasizes that no single approach to parenting is always correct. The hardest part, he notes, is dealing with fear and learning to trust that his daughters will make the right choices despite the challenges they may face. This approach fosters a more relaxed and nurturing environment. Crazy Cool Family Mission Transforming Fatherhood Dr. Lewis discusses the mission of Crazy Cool Family, an organization aimed at helping parents improve their relationships with their children and become better versions of themselves. The ministry encourages fathers to be actively involved and continuously learn about parenting and relationships. Shared Experience and Reevaluating Beliefs Most men aspire to be good fathers but often lack the knowledge or vision to achieve this goal. Reflecting on their upbringing or external challenges, both speakers recommend reevaluating long-held beliefs about parenting and embracing new insights—such as Dr. Lewis’s realization about teenage rebellion. Conclusion Fatherhood is a lifelong journey of learning, growth, and forming deep connections. By embracing vulnerability, prioritizing quality time, and committing to self-improvement, dads can ...
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    31 mins
  • Mental Health and Fatherhood: Insights from Damien Moore

    Mental Health and Fatherhood: Insights from Damien Moore
    Oct 14 2024
    The Journey of Being a Dad Fatherhood is a journey filled with joy, challenges, and continuous growth. On the latest episode of the Dads with Daughters podcast, we sit down with Damien Moore, a dedicated father and founder of Dad’s Daily Digest. Through their engaging conversation, Damien shares heartfelt experiences, invaluable insights, and practical advice for fathers striving to raise resilient and compassionate children. Preparing for the Unexpected The Impact of COVID-19 on Fatherhood Damien Moore’s journey into fatherhood coincided with an unprecedented global event—the COVID-19 pandemic. His daughter was born just six weeks before the world shut down. As a budding freelance professional, Damien faced the harsh reality of job loss while also navigating the new terrain of fatherhood amidst a pandemic. The absence of his family in the crucial initial months underscored the emotional strain many new parents faced during this period. "There’s no parenting tips or books that tell you how to parent during a pandemic," Damien states, highlighting the uncertainty that clouded the early days of his fatherhood journey. Despite these challenges, Damien found solace and support in technology, enabling constant communication with his family through virtual platforms. This adaptability and reliance on a support network became a cornerstone of his approach to parenting during these trying times. Addressing Mental Health: A Family Affair Understanding and Managing Anxiety Both Damien and his wife come from families with a history of mental health challenges, making them acutely aware of the importance of mental well-being. Recognizing early signs of anxiety in their daughter, they took proactive steps to understand and address her needs. From withholding toileting behaviors to being easily startled, these manifestations of anxiety required a sensitive and informed approach. "We adapt as parents based on our kids’ personalities," shares Damien, emphasizing the need for a tailored parenting approach that considers individual differences. Damien’s candidness about his own mental health struggles and his decision to seek therapy underline the importance of self-awareness and the willingness to seek help. By sharing these experiences, he sets a powerful example for other fathers, encouraging them to prioritize their mental health for the benefit of their families. Building a Supportive Community The Birth of Dad’s Daily Digest Inspired by personal experiences and a desire to support other fathers, Damien launched Dad’s Daily Digest—a platform aimed at providing advice, sharing stories, and fostering a supportive community among fathers. The alarming rise in suicide rates during the pandemic, particularly among men, motivated Damien to create a space where fathers could find solace, encouragement, and practical tips on navigating the complexities of parenthood. "If I just touch one person and inspire one individual... that’s all that matters to me." Through this platform, Damien hopes to tackle the stigma around mental health and provide a lifeline to fathers who might be struggling in silence. His unwavering commitment to making a positive impact, even if it’s one person at a time, speaks volumes about his dedication to this cause. Lessons in Empathy and Compassion A Beautiful Gesture In a touching anecdote shared on the podcast, Damien recounts a moment with his daughter that encapsulates the essence of the lessons he strives to impart. While at a McDonald's drive-thru, his daughter’s simple yet profound act of kindness towards a homeless individual demonstrated the values of empathy and generosity that Damien and his wife instill in her. "Her gesture was just so beautiful… it nearly brought me to tears." These moments of heartfelt connection not only reinforce the principles Damien values but also highlight the significant impact that nurturing a compassionate environment can have on a child’s development. Looking Towards the Future Hopes and Aspirations As Damien continues to build Dad’s Daily Digest, his ultimate aspiration is to become a motivational speaker, sharing his journey and insights on a larger scale. By doing so, he hopes to inspire and support more fathers in their quest to raise strong, compassionate daughters while also navigating their own personal challenges. In concluding his conversation with Dr. Christopher Lewis, Damien leaves listeners with a powerful piece of advice: put life into perspective, recognize your blessings, and approach each day with gratitude. These principles not only shape his parenting philosophy but also serve as a guiding light for fathers everywhere striving to be the best they can be. This comprehensive blog post captures the essence of the podcast episode, featuring key anecdotes and insights shared by Damien Moore, ultimately providing valuable guidance and motivation for fathers navigating the beautiful yet challenging journey of...
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    27 mins
  • Father-Daughter Insights: Brian and Libby Piper Discuss Overcoming Challenges and Celebrating Wins

    Father-Daughter Insights: Brian and Libby Piper Discuss Overcoming Challenges and Celebrating Wins
    Oct 7 2024
    Family First: Embracing the Realities of Fatherhood Fatherhood is a journey filled with joy, challenges, and countless learning moments. In our recent episode of the Dads with Daughters podcast,we had the pleasure of hosting Brian Piper and his daughter Libby. This engaging conversation shed light on the intricacies of fostering a strong father-daughter bond, emphasizing empathy, support, and mutual growth. The Initial Steps: Embracing the Unknown Brian Piper candidly shared his initial reaction to fatherhood. Like many new fathers, Brian felt a mix of excitement and fear. He was initially terrified but quickly embraced the journey as a valuable learning experience. Understanding the emotional and intellectual differences between men and women was one of his primary concerns when raising his daughter, Libby. Libby also offered her perspective on the various activities her dad encouraged her to try. From cheerleading and soccer to rock climbing and snowboarding, Brian’s support helped Libby find her passions and joy in unexpected places. Their shared skydiving experience stands out as a testament to his encouragement and her bravery. Open Ears and Open Hearts: Listening Versus Fixing A significant part of the episode focused on the challenges of raising daughters, especially the balance between listening and solving their problems. Brian highlighted the importance of listening without judgment and providing empathetic support, something often more required by daughters than sons. Libby emphasized that sometimes she needs her dad to listen and provide empathy rather than immediate solutions to her problems. This approach has helped her feel supported and understood. Fathers must remember to ask if their daughters want advice or just a sympathetic ear at that moment, fostering better communication and stronger relationships. Skydiving and Small Steps: Overcoming Anxiety Together Libby’s journey with anxiety and how her father has been there for her with unwavering support was another crucial discussion point. Brian has used techniques like walking her through worst-case scenarios to help alleviate her anxiety. This method allows Libby to process her emotions and face her fears more manageable. The skydiving experience shared between them illustrates this dynamic beautifully. Despite her initial anxiety, Libby found joy and excitement in the activity, thanks to her father's encouragement and support. This shared adventure not only helped her overcome a significant fear but also strengthened their bond. Thriving Amidst Technology: Discussing AI and Social Media In today’s digital age, navigating AI and social media is an inevitable part of parenting. Brian, with his expertise as a marketer and content expert, highlighted the ethical considerations and the need for open discussions about these technologies with children. Libby, coming from an environmental major background, shared her concerns about AI's potential negative uses, reflecting her thoughtful approach to the impact of technology on society. These conversations around the dinner table, although sometimes challenging, are crucial for preparing children to make informed decisions about technology usage responsibly. Finding Opportunities and Walking the Path Together Libby’s approach to seizing opportunities by breaking tasks into manageable steps is a valuable lesson in personal development. This method, akin to how Brian taught skydiving, emphasizes the importance of self-belief and recognizing personal capabilities. Brian’s reflections on parenting six children underscore the significance of personalized attention, open communication, and equitable responsibility-sharing with his partner. The value of family dinners as moments of connection and fun further highlights his commitment to family values. Conclusion In wrapping up the episode, Dr. Christopher Lewis reiterated the importance of community and shared learning as vital tools in the journey of fatherhood. The insights from Brian and Libby Piper's experiences remind us to balance listening and fixing, support our daughters as they face their fears and challenges, and engage them in meaningful conversations about technology and personal growth. Fatherhood, as stressed throughout the "Dads with Daughters" podcast, is not about finding a one-size-fits-all approach. It’s about being present, empathetic, and open to learning from our children and each other. With resources like the "Fatherhood Insider" and the vibrant "Dads with Daughters" community, fathers can find the support and guidance they need to raise strong, independent daughters. For more insights and to join the conversation, visit fatheringtogether.org, and stay tuned for more empowering episodes on the "Dads with Daughters" podcast. TRANSCRIPT (Unedited transcript created with CASTMAGIC) Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]: Welcome to Dads with Daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help ...
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    32 mins
  • Inspiring Dads: Brent Dowlen on Purposeful Fatherhood and Overcoming Fears with Daughters

    Inspiring Dads: Brent Dowlen on Purposeful Fatherhood and Overcoming Fears with Daughters
    Sep 30 2024
    In a heartwarming episode of the Dads with Daughters podcast, we speak with Brent Dowlen, a dedicated father and the voice behind The Fallible Man podcast. Brent shares his heartfelt journey of fatherhood, underscoring the value of prioritizing family, embracing transparency, and finding personal purpose. The Blessing of Fatherhood Discovering Love with Daughters Brent Dowlen recounts the heart-stopping moment of holding his first daughter for the first time. He admits that he, like many fathers, was overwhelmed with joy and a touch of terror. "It's real now. This little life is dependent on me," he shares, capturing the duality of excitement and responsibility that comes with fatherhood. He never knew the gender of his children until birth, emphasizing that his main hope was simply for a healthy child. Fears and Aspirations Despite his extensive background in youth ministry, Brent was not immune to the fears that accompany fatherhood. His primary concern was setting an exemplary standard, knowing that his daughters would one day seek partners who reflect his character. This realization spurred a significant personal transformation. Brent openly discusses the fears of not living up to the high bar he set and the journey he has undergone to become the best version of himself. Embracing Transparency Owning Mistakes and Building Trust Brent emphasizes transparency and honesty with his children. He candidly shares stories of his past mistakes and life experiences, adapting the depth of these dialogues to his daughters' developmental stages. This approach, he believes, nurtures trust and resilience in his daughters. "Kids will cling to transparency," Brent says. By owning up to his mistakes and maintaining honesty, he sets a robust foundation of trust and respect in his family. Handling Pain Together Brent's parenting style includes teaching his daughters practical skills to navigate physical and emotional pains. He recounts holding his daughter during her shots, teaching her to breathe through the pain—an approach he values highly. This practice not only builds resilience but also demonstrates his unwavering support and presence during difficult moments. The Dynamics of Different Personalities Unique Bonds with Each Child Recognizing and responding to the unique personalities of his daughters is another core aspect of Brent's parenting philosophy. His older daughter, who shares his passion for activities, bonds with him through early morning walks and fishing trips. On the other hand, his younger daughter cherishes snuggles and quiet chats. Brent's ability to adapt to their distinct needs strengthens his relationship with each child. "Part of me going for walks in the morning has to do with me trying to stay somewhat healthy. Part of it is I wouldn't trade that time for anything," says Brent, highlighting the precious one-on-one times. The Fallible Man: A Journey to Better Self Inspiration Behind the Podcast Driven by a desire to impact lives positively, Brent launched "The Fallible Man" podcast in 2020. Initially rooted in his background in ministry, his motivation evolved as he sought ways to mentor and guide men, especially those without positive male role models. The podcast strives to redefine masculinity, focusing on self-improvement and purposeful living rather than physical attributes. Major Takeaways for Men Reflecting on over 300 episodes, Brent's key takeaway is the critical need for men to discover their unique purpose. "All men were born for a purpose. You inherently have worth because you're a person," he notes. Living in alignment with this purpose, accompanied by humility, paves the way for personal growth and clarity in life's decisions. Brent asserts true masculinity lies in purpose, mission, and authenticity, rather than stereotypical physical traits. Fatherhood Insights and Advice Living for Priorities The podcast episode wraps up with Brent sharing a piece of sage advice: "20 years from now, your boss won't care about how many hours you worked. Your children will never ever ever forget that they were your priority." This encapsulates the essence of Brent's parenting philosophy—being present and making your children feel valued above all else is a lasting legacy of fatherhood. For those keen to learn more about Brent Dowlen and dive deeper into his insights, visit falliblemanpodcast.com. Brent's extensive work aims to help men navigate their journey of self-improvement, ultimately making a positive impact on their families and communities. TRANSCRIPT (Unedited transcript made by CASTMAGIC) Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]: Welcome to Dads with Daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:16]: Welcome back to the dads with daughters podcast, where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughters' lives, raising them to be strong, independent women. Really excited to have you back...
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    34 mins
  • Tailoring Parenting Approaches for Each Child with Travis Hawkley

    Tailoring Parenting Approaches for Each Child with Travis Hawkley
    Sep 23 2024
    In a recent episode of Dads with Daughters, we delve into the multifaceted journey of fatherhood with guest Travis Hawkley, a father of three vibrant daughters aged 17, 13, and 9. The episode is a treasure trove of insights, real-life anecdotes, and practical advice for fathers striving to be the best dads they can be. Embracing Each Child's Unique Needs One of the central themes of the conversation is the importance of treating each child as an individual. Travis shares how his middle daughter faced anxiety around dance recitals. Despite her love for dancing, the pressure to perform became overwhelming. Instead of insisting she fit into a conventional dance class, Travis and his wife found a non-performing dance class that allowed their daughter to continue her passion without the stress of recitals. This decision underscores Travis's belief in accommodating each child's unique needs rather than imposing one-size-fits-all expectations. Travis's approach to parenting is a thoughtful balance of supporting his daughters' independence while providing the guidance and resources they need to explore their interests. The key is to avoid making his daughters feel like they need to prioritize his feelings over their own, thereby fostering a sense of independence and self-driven choices. The Power of Curiosity and Engagement Travis advocates for a parenting style rooted in curiosity and engagement. He emphasizes the importance of initiating conversations and asking open-ended questions to understand each child's interests and aspirations. This approach not only strengthens the parent-child bond but also empowers children to express themselves freely. Supporting their interests doesn’t have to be costly. Travis suggests starting with low-cost activities to gauge their passion. For example, his oldest daughter's interest in stagecraft was nurtured with encouragement and opportunities to explore theater, even without a clear career path in mind. The support allowed her to pursue her passion without fear of failure. Travis shares that his most successful moments as a father are when his daughters approach him with difficult questions, showcasing their trust and openness. This trust is built through consistent engagement and letting children guide conversations, ensuring they feel heard and valued. Overcoming Limiting Beliefs A significant part of Travis's parenting philosophy is fostering a positive growth mindset. He underscores the importance of helping children overcome limiting beliefs—self-imposed barriers that can hinder their potential. Drawing from his own experience, Travis recalls how being praised for his test-taking skills became a limiting belief, leading him to put less effort into his studies. It was only through conscious effort that he deconstructed this belief to succeed academically later in life. Travis applies these lessons to his children, particularly regarding their future aspirations. His oldest daughter, for instance, feels uncertain about her post-high school plans amidst societal pressure to have a clear career path. Travis reassures her by sharing his varied career experiences and emphasizes the importance of flexibility and openness to change. He encourages her to consider non-traditional career paths, like becoming an electrician while indulging her theater interests, highlighting the value of adaptability in today's world. Inspiration and Influence Travis draws inspiration from his daughters and their interactions, finding joy and motivation in their growth. His parenting style is also influenced by his parents—his mother encouraged exploration and trying new things, while his father, despite different interests, provided a model of support and care. This blend of influences has shaped Travis's motto: "Love wastefully." He emphasizes that love is an inexhaustible resource and advocates for loving fully and unconditionally. This philosophy extends to self-love and maintaining a balance between work and personal fulfillment. Conclusion In his conversation with Dr. Christopher Lewis, Travis Hawkley showcases a profound and nuanced approach to fatherhood. By treating each child as an individual, fostering curiosity, and helping them overcome limiting beliefs, Travis exemplifies the values of love and support that are crucial in raising strong, independent daughters. His journey reminds us that being present, engaged, and adaptable are key components of fatherhood. As Travis encourages, let's all strive to "love wastefully" and support our children's journeys without reservation. TRANSCRIPT (Unedited transcript created through CASTMAGIC) Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]: Welcome to dads with daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be. Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:16]: Welcome back to the dads with daughters podcast where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughters' lives, raising them to be ...
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    34 mins