Countess of Brighton and Hackney™

By: Sarnia de la Maré FRSA
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  • Summary

  • THIS PODCAST HAS MOVED TO

    https://iservalan.gumroad.com/

    Introducing the Countess of Brighton and Hackney Diaries: A Hilarious Multiverse of Eccentricities.

    Introducing the Countess of Brighton and Hackney Diaries: A Hilarious Multiverse of Eccentricities Prepare to immerse yourself in a world where 16th-century nobility meets modern Brighton in a delightful clash of grandeur and hilarity. The Countess of Brighton and Hackney Diaries is now available in a variety of formats to suit every taste, bringing this whimsical comedy to life like never before.The Diaries: A Story of Flamboyant ChaosFollow the Countess—a self-proclaimed Z-list celebrity, misunderstood artist, and cultural provocateur—as she navigates life with a mix of vodka-fueled determination and a penchant for mischief. From hosting underground art parties to dodging scandal at every turn, these diaries are a treasure trove of laugh-out-loud escapades. Now Available Across Platforms
    1. Blog
      The Diaries are serialized on a dedicated blog, perfect for readers who prefer bite-sized doses of comedy. Each post is a stand-alone vignette, offering a glimpse into the Countess’s chaotic yet endearing world. Whether she’s grappling with menopausal mishaps or creatively reimagining art installations, her wit will leave you chuckling.
    2. Subscription Channel
      Dive deeper into the Countess's universe with exclusive content available through a subscription channel. Subscribers can enjoy behind-the-scenes anecdotes, commentary from the Countess herself, and bonus stories too risqué for the main blog. Think of it as your VIP pass to her palace of eccentricities.
    3. Audiobook Podcast
      For fans of storytelling on the go, the Countess of Brighton and Hackney Diaries is also available as an audiobook podcast. Narrated in her signature melodramatic style, the Countess invites you to hear her tales as she intended—with flair, exaggeration, and the occasional aside about her beloved smelling salts.
    4. Graphic Novel
      For those who appreciate visual storytelling, the Diaries have been transformed into a graphic novel. Lavish illustrations capture the Countess's bold style, the quirkiness of her staff, and the absurdity of her misadventures. It’s a feast for the eyes and the funny bone.
    What Readers Are Saying"The Countess is everything I didn’t know I needed—part diva, part disaster, and wholly hilarious!"
    "Think Downton Abbey meets Absolutely Fabulous. Pure comedic gold."
    "I laughed, I cried, I subscribed. This is my new favorite escape."Why You'll Love It
    • Laugh-Out-Loud Comedy: The Countess’s misadventures are a masterclass in humor, blending satire, wit, and a touch of the absurd.
    • Quirky Characters: From her hapless staff to scandalous suitors, every character is uniquely memorable.
    • Multiple Formats: Whether you prefer to read, listen, or experience the stories visually, there's a format for you.
    Join the Countess’s World TodayExplore the Countess of Brighton and Hackney Diaries and discover why this lovable aristocrat-turned-modern-day-provocateur is winning hearts everywhere. Visit the blog, subscribe for exclusive content, tune into the podcast, or grab the graphic novel to enjoy her escapades in the format that suits you best.Life is short—add a little Countess to it!
    Sarnia de la Mare
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Art Comedy & Humour Literary History & Criticism
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Episodes
  • The Eco-Friendly Choice: Buying Bulk Rags for Recycling, Tips For Eco Business and Home

    The Eco-Friendly Choice: Buying Bulk Rags for Recycling, Tips For Eco Business and Home
    Jan 26 2025
    The Eco-Friendly Choice: Buying Bulk Rags for Recycling by Vogue Eco Fashion.In today’s world, where environmental concerns are at the forefront, finding practical ways to reduce waste and recycle responsibly is more important than ever. One often-overlooked opportunity lies in buying bulk rags for recycling. Whether you’re running a business, maintaining a workshop, or just looking for sustainable options for household cleaning, bulk rags can be a cost-effective and eco-friendly solution. Let’s explore why buying bulk rags makes sense and how it contributes to a greener planet.Why Choose Bulk Rags?Bulk rags are essentially recycled textiles—typically made from surplus or discarded clothing and fabric—that have been repurposed for cleaning and other practical uses. Here’s why they’re a smart choice:Cost-Effectiveness Buying rags in bulk saves money compared to purchasing single-use cleaning products. Businesses in industries like automotive repair, construction, and manufacturing can significantly cut costs by switching to reusable rags.Sustainability By purchasing bulk rags, you’re directly supporting textile recycling. This helps divert materials from landfills and reduces the demand for new resources. Additionally, many bulk rag suppliers use eco-friendly processes to sort, clean, and package their products.Versatility Bulk rags are versatile and suitable for a wide range of tasks, including:Cleaning spills and stainsPolishing surfacesWiping down machineryDIY and crafting projectsDurability High-quality bulk rags are made from sturdy materials like cotton, terry cloth, or fleece. These fabrics are not only absorbent but also long-lasting, making them ideal for repeated use.How to Choose the Right Bulk RagsWhen buying bulk rags, it’s essential to consider your specific needs. Here are some tips to guide you:Material: Different materials suit different tasks. For example, cotton rags are highly absorbent and great for cleaning, while microfiber rags are ideal for polishing and dusting.Size: Choose the appropriate size based on the job. Larger rags are better for big spills, while smaller ones work well for detailed tasks.Packaging: Look for suppliers that use minimal or recyclable packaging to further reduce environmental impact.Certifications: Check if the supplier adheres to environmental standards or certifications, such as ISO 14001.Where to Buy Bulk RagsMany companies specialize in selling bulk rags for industrial and personal use. You can find them through:Local suppliers: Supporting local businesses reduces transportation emissions and helps your community.Online retailers: Many online platforms offer a wide variety of bulk rags at competitive prices.Nonprofit organizations: Some nonprofits sell recycled rags to fund their initiatives, providing a way to support both sustainability and social causes.Recycling Your RagsOnce your rags are no longer usable, make sure to dispose of them responsibly. Many textile recycling facilities accept used rags, turning them into new products like insulation or industrial materials. Check with your local recycling center for options.Final ThoughtsBuying bulk rags for recycling is a small but impactful step toward a more sustainable lifestyle. It saves money, reduces waste, and promotes the circular economy. Whether you’re a business owner or an eco-conscious individual, making the switch to bulk rags is a simple way to make a big difference. Let’s embrace this eco-friendly choice and work together to create a cleaner, greener future.
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    4 mins
  • Family Clothes Blink Friction 💓 Remaking Fashion Collection by iServalan for Tale Teller Clothing at Vogue Eco

    Family Clothes Blink Friction 💓 Remaking Fashion Collection by iServalan for Tale Teller Clothing at Vogue Eco
    Jan 26 2025
    12 mins
  • The Countess of Brighton and Hackney Diaries. Chapter 31: The Bath of Divine Recovery

    The Countess of Brighton and Hackney Diaries. Chapter 31: The Bath of Divine Recovery
    Dec 21 2024
    The Countess of Brighton and Hackney Diaries.
    Chapter 31: The Bath of Divine Recovery
    Dearest Reader,It is with some embarrassment and no small measure of triumph that I pen this latest entry, for I have just emerged from a most restorative bath. Nay, not an ordinary bath of lukewarm water and soap as may suffice for the commonfolk, but one befitting a Countess of my grandeur and refinement—a bath of virgin asses’ milk infused with crushed petals of Damask roses and a sprinkling of golden saffron threads. Such extravagance may be unthinkable to those with lesser ambitions, but my skin, glowing like moonlight on a silver goblet, declares it an investment well spent.The setting for this indulgence was, of course, the private Bathing Chamber of Providence Palace. I must make it clear, lest rumors begin to spread, that this chamber is discreetly hidden away, separated by a thick oaken door from the Great Hall, where preparations for tomorrow's festival are underway. As I reclined amidst the frothy luxury, the distant sound of workers hammering, hoisting, and chattering was barely a murmur, a background symphony to my repose.It is curious how one’s genius often blooms in the most unlikely places. Amidst the milk and roses, I conceived of tomorrow’s grand introduction for a certain performance artist—a lady who, with a commendable spirit of innovation, has fused the art of sewing with the thunderous beats of DJ decks. This fusion of needle and note shall, I am sure, leave my guests astounded. However, I shan't reveal more now, for I delight in the surprise of my audience almost as much as I delight in their adoration of me.As I soaked, I reflected on the chaos of the week past. Chief among the calamities was the disappearance of Girl Cat, my most delicate and beloved feline companion. When she went missing, I confess my vanity was slightly bruised—imagine the ignominy of the Countess scouring the streets like a common milkmaid, crying out for her pet! Yet, such was my devotion that I lowered myself to the task. When news came that she had been found lounging in a nearby garden, filthy but unharmed, I was overwhelmed with a joy so potent I nearly swooned. Naturally, I offered her rescuers the honor of attending tomorrow's festivities with a drink on me—an act of generosity that will no doubt become legendary in its retelling.Girl Cat, now restored to her rightful place in the palace, remains in a foul temper. Boy Cat, ever the shameless rogue, continues to sniff about her with unseemly enthusiasm, earning himself nothing but hisses and scratches for his trouble. I suspect her recent adventure has left her feeling unappreciated, for she glares at me with an expression that suggests I ought to apologize for her mischief. Alas, the life of a Countess is one of constant misunderstanding, even by one’s own cats.Tomorrow promises to be a day of much revelry, with performances and debates in the afternoon followed by a raucous party in the evening. I am especially keen for the latter, for I have endured a week of unrelenting toil. The palace staff, though well-meaning, are as clumsy as untrained mules, and I have had to intervene in nearly every detail of the preparations. By eight o'clock tomorrow, I shall be well fortified with vodka and ready to dance with all the grace and vigor that my exquisite form allows. My guests shall marvel, as always, at how I manage to be both the life of the party and its most alluring ornament.Ah, but I must leave you now, dear reader, for the saffron has done its work, and my skin positively glows. I am certain tomorrow will bring triumphs to add to the legend of Providence Palace, as well as stories to delight you in future entries. Until then, I remain, as ever, your devoted and radiant Countess.Yours in beauty and brilliance,Pasha du Valentine, Countess of Brighton and Hackney
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    4 mins

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