Alice Alexandrescu is an options facilitator who helps people identify and protect their  mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical boundaries. Currently, she is mentoring under Tony Blauer in his SPEAR System Elite Masterclass. She is an Army veteran, holds a Master of Fine Arts in Behavioral Aesthetics and is a qualified mental health associate skills trainer. In 2020, Alice was awarded third place in the National Veterans’ Art Festival for her piece entitled, “888 Paper Cranes”, which she gradually completed while hospitalized for PTSD. Saying, “during my treatment, crushing waves of emotions, thought, and sensation were delicately folded into each crane”. Alice’s work can be viewed in her Instagram where she just lays her studio and research methodology as a public living journal in video and photography.

In this episode, Alice and I discuss:

• Being In tune with your elements - Air, Water, Fire and Earth
• The Three D’s - Detect, Defuse, Defend 
• Non-violent communication - jackal mindset versus giraffe mindset

Key Takeaways:

• Everybody deserves to live out their dreams but usually conflict and harm gets in the way of that, either coming from other people or from the bully within. Defending yourself from attacks from both fronts will help you live your life the best that you could. 
• Have an understanding of what you want to protect and express that with passion. Create a clear system of boundaries. Practice stillness and quietness. Have compassion on your body, be mindful of what you’re eating and doing. 
• Remember D1, D2, and D3. Detect to avoid, be situationally aware to not be in a threatening place in the first place. Defuse to deescalate, when the first D doesn’t work, try to defuse the situation, or get to a place where you can be safe. Defend to protect yourself if the other options are unavailable. 
• Step out of violent communication where somebody wins and somebody loses.. Shift into being able to let both sides win together. Use language to heal each other. 

“Language is the first technology - effective, clear, language to represent what’s going on in our internal world to coordinate, create, and manifest" —  Alice Alexandrescu

Connect with Alice Alexandrescu:

Instagram: https://Instagram.com/alicejoanirene 

CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA:

If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today!

Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated!

If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at cynthia@jolicoeur.com

To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here.

Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin

Melissa Soalt is a women’s self-defense pioneer, a black belt hall of fame recipient, former trauma psychotherapist, and the creator of Fierce & Female Self Defense. She is a forerunner in full-force padded assailant scenario training, her approach is both practical and transformational. She has taught thousands of women how to safeguard their boundaries, protect themselves from danger and resist attack while reconnecting women with deep-seated, primal and emotional powers to live safer, bolder, and fuller lives and to reverse female fear. Melissa is an outspoken advocate for self-defense as physical feminism, she has been featured in national and international media and has also taught in Europe, India, Nepal, and Kenya. She provides customized online training and corporate consulting and is at work on a manifesto for women.

In this episode, Melissa and I discuss:

• Pre-assault indicators, the power of fear, and innate awareness.
• Staying focused and alert for street crimes 
• Signs that someone is going to physically attack you
• Seeing the whole person

Key Takeaways:

• Pre-assault indicators go beyond physical cues, manipulation and terror tactics are part of it. Fear is pervasive, it affects every decision you make in your life. We need to have an innate awareness, attuned fully to our intuition. The feeling of unease, or discomfort are important factors. .
• When you feel like a person is trying to distract you, do these things: watch their hands, have a neutral face, see as wide as possible, create a bit of distance, and observe scouting. 
• Watch out for signs of when someone’s about to attack you. They will often be anxious, build up adrenaline, and so will be shifting from foot to foot, going into a boxer’s stance. You may also notice their jaw clenching forward and an unmistakable tension. 
• You want to see the whole person if you want to remain safe and prepared from any sudden movements that they may do, watch their shoulders - they’ll go back before striking. 

“Most of us don’t go around punching things, choking people, grabbing people from behind. But we need to learn what that looks like so that if we’re out in the street, or a shopping mall, and somebody has this intention, we’ll see it faster - if we have that kind of training." —  Cynthia Jolicoeur Rood

Connect with Melissa Soalt:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/fierceandfemale/ 

Website: http://www.fierceandfemale.com/ 

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissa-soalt-aka-dr-ruthless-a457456/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTwPfQoC4d7TTj6KPoR1J5w  

CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA:

If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today!

Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated!

If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at cynthia@jolicoeur.com

To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here.

Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin

Raven Scott is a survivor of an abusing relationship with a narcissist, she’s gone from being a people pleaser to a kick-ass author, podcaster, and mentor and she’s a certified meditation teacher and a Destiny Coach. She teaches women how to shed negative patterns one step at a time, to find their power and potential through healing so that they can kick ass in their own life. Raven has a terrific podcast called “Unlock Your Destiny” and she recently published a book that’s a memoir combined with an empath’s healing guide, that book is called “Empath and The Narcissist: A Healing Guide For People Pleasers”. 

In this episode, Raven and I discuss:

• Spotting a narcissist and examples of manipulation
• When psychological abuse turns physical
• Concept of Safety Nets and keeping safe from cyber-stalking
• Coping with PTSD through breath and EFT

Key Takeaways:

• Often, low self-esteem caused by experiences in one’s childhood can make them a perfect target for narcissists’ manipulation - it’s important to make peace with your past and focus on building back that self-worth in order to raise your defenses against people with no empathy. 
• Narcissist don’t have any empathy. You’ll know one is manipulating you if they’re showing no regard or your emotions and are always pinning the blame on you or something you did. 
• You often will not get any arguments with a narcissist early on because they will be love-bombing you to gain your trust but when you do argue, you’ll find yourself questioning your perception of right and wrong and by the end of the argument, you’ll find that the whole problem is you, and it’s all up to you to fix it and it’s not their problem. Psychological abuse often turns physical, pay attention to the signs and escape. 
• Recognize Safety Nets - there’s many ways you can do to be safe from an abuser and keep yourself safe. A few avenues you can take is through the law, by filing for a restraining order or changing your name, you can also contact family and close friends to help you through transition, and you can also turn off your phone’s GPS tracking. 

"The biggest thing that narcissists want is attention… treat them like a stranger, don’t feel empathy for them and disengage from conversation… give yourself time for you." —  Raven Scott

Connect with Raven Scott:

Website: https://www.unlockyourdestiny.net/ 

Podcast: https://www.unlockyourdestiny.net/podcast 

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Empath-Narcissist-Healing-People-Pleasers-ebook/dp/B097CP63G5/ 

CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA:

If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today!

Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated!

If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at cynthia@jolicoeur.com

To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here.

Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin

M.E. Heald graduated 2006 with a double major in Criminal Justice and Psychology, and in 2010 with a masters in Criminal Justice specific to gangs and youth offenders. She has worked all over the place, including food service, sales, a few years as a promotional and advertising model, a year as a Miller Light Gal, she has also been an advocate at a sexual assault center and has spent the last 7 years as a corrections officer, the last 9 as a case manager. She trains new staff in self-defense, control tactics, crisis intervention, motivational interviewing, scenario-based trainings, conflict management, negotiations and more. 

In this episode, M.E. Heald and I discuss:

• Practicing situational awareness 
• Understanding the criminal mind
• Crisis intervention and negotiations
• Safety tips to use when travelling

Key Takeaways:

• Be aware and listen to your gut - it will save you from a lot of trouble. 
• Understanding the criminal mind will help you keep yourself safe and be one step ahead of predators. 
• People are complicated, there are a lot of things that happen that make people who they are - choices they made and choices that were made upon them. 
• Give people a way out, if it’s an option, when intervening in a crisis and you might get to them more effectively. 

"Know your surroundings, know your go-to places, let the people you trust know where you’re going, know who you’re with" —  M.E. Heald

Connect with M.E. Heald:

Website: https://500rising.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mheald10/?hl=en

CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA:

If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today!

Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated!

If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at cynthia@jolicoeur.com

To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here.

Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin

Wendy Keir has spent her whole life recovering from the traumatic aftereffects of being institutionalized in the United Kingdom’s care system. She believes that healing from emotional and traumatic scars is an inside out job. The path to successful ongoing recovery and to breaking the cycle starts with your relationship with yourself and others, how you perceive the world around you and changing your inner world.  

In this episode, Wendy and I discuss:

• What is trauma and denial? 
• Recognizing how trauma affects your life 
• Processing your trauma and rebuilding back your self-esteem
• Finding your identity as a fighter

Key Takeaways:

• A trauma is any event that leaves an emotional imprint within your identity that changes your behavior. Trauma completely changes your personality, body and mind. Trauma can be passed on from parent to child. 
• Recognizing trauma starts from diving within yourself, it’s a process of healing and that starts with being self-aware. Take the one thing that’s affecting your life the most right now and address that right now. Take things one step at a time. 
• One of the things that is often lost when going through traumatic events is self-esteem. You can regain your self-esteem by connecting with the part of you that’s able to see yourself from a loving, compassionate, forgiving, and more empowering mindset. 
• Fear isn’t real, it’s an illusion of the mind that has been created from what we experienced in the past. 

"When you start reconnecting with and connecting with the part that is able to acknowledge, to forgive, to comfort the child or the young woman, or young adult that had that experience, you naturally start to see a different side of your personality. You start to recognize that it wasn’t not your fault, it was out of your control. You can start to recognize who it is you are, as an individual." —  Wendy Keir

Connect with Wendy Keir:

Facebook: https://web.facebook.com/groups/CoachingandMentoringCollective/ 

Website:  https://www.consciouscoachingandmentoring.com/ 

Email:  wendy@consciouscoachingandmentoring.com 

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wendykier/detail/contact-info/ 

CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA:

If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today!

Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated!

If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at cynthia@jolicoeur.com

To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here.

Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin

About Meredith Gold: She is a scenario-based, full force, self defense instructor. She’s been teaching Adrenal Stress Scenario Training, also known as ASST to adults and teens since 1992 and started her empowerment-based assertive communication and self-defense program RAW Power: Real World Self-Defense in 2000. Meredith’s primary focus has always been teaching self-defense and verbal empowerment skills to previously untrained women and teens but her focus has expanded to other high risk targeted communities including LGBTQ and AAPI. She has also been instrumental in bringing awareness to this training method to the martial arts community. She and her husband/training partner Michael Belzer have offered training and instructor certifications to martial artists all around the world. A contributing for Black Belt Magazine for five years, Meredith was inducted into their hall of fame in 2003 when they named her their Woman of The Year. 

In this episode, Meredith and I discuss:

• The difference of martial arts and full force self-defense training
• RAW Power - The three most important components of self-defense
• How people can deal with threats 
• Setting and communicating boundaries clearly 

Key Takeaways:

• Fighting in martial arts and fighting in real life have different rules. You might need to learn practical fighting techniques that will help you defend against predators along with martial arts.
• RAW stands for Ready, Aware, Willing. These are the three most important components of self-defense. 
• Be aware when you’re outside - predators are always looking for someone who’s not paying attention. 
• Remember “elevator” - communicate clearly that you’re not comfortable and escalate with every ignored remark, then give a warning that there will be consequences if they don’t stop. 

"The most important component in these situations is fighting spirit - it’s the deep belief that we have the right and ability to live a safe life." —  Meredith Gold

Check out Managing Violence Podcast by Joe Saunders - Episode with Meredith Gold and Michael Belzer: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/s1-ep-6-meredith-gold-mike-belzer-from-raw-power-self/id1441934641?i=1000426719954&l 

Connect with Meredith Gold:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/rawpowersdtraining/ 

Website: http://rawpowerselfdefense.com/ 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rawpowerselfdefense/ 

CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA:

If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today!

Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated!

If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at cynthia@jolicoeur.com

To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here.

Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin

Melissa Soalt is a women’s self-defense pioneer, a black belt hall of fame recipient, former trauma psychotherapist, and the creator of Fierce & Female Self Defense. She is a forerunner in full-force padded assailant scenario training, her approach is both practical and transformational. She has taught thousands of women how to safeguard their boundaries, protect themselves from danger and resist attack while reconnecting women with deep-seated, primal and emotional powers to live safer, bolder, and fuller lives and to reverse female fear. Melissa is an outspoken advocate for self-defense as physical feminism, she has been featured in national and international media and has also taught in Europe, India, Nepal, and Kenya. She provides customized online training and corporate consulting and is at work on a manifesto for women.

In this episode, Melissa and I discuss:

• When submission is necessary
• Tonic immobility or rape paralysis 
• Skills and strategies to counteract tonic immobility
• Self-defense options when being attacked by a rapist

Key Takeaways:

• Sometimes submission is the best choice against an attack if there is too much at stake. 
• Tonic immobility is something that happens to anyone, whether animals or humans, who are attacked by a predator. It serves as an automatic biological response - a cushion for the person who’s supposedly experiencing imminent death. This happens to rape victims too. 
• Use your intuition to dissuade and trick the predator, make some type of noise with the objects around you. Coil in to yourself and don’t telegraph your thoughts.
• Bring awareness into the situation but don’t let the assailant’s words get under your skin. 
• If you see a space to take action, take it. If their face is near your head, scream into their ear. Use your body’s natural weapon or get a weapon from around you. Go zero to a hundred on them. If you can get your legs and heels planted on their hipbone, you might be able to get up and run - control the hip to control the situation.

"Your goal is to facilitate escape. But often, to enable escape you have to disable or hurt something on the other person. That’s what enables our escape. —  Melissa Soalt

Connect with Melissa Soalt:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/fierceandfemale/ 

Website: http://www.fierceandfemale.com/ 

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissa-soalt-aka-dr-ruthless-a457456/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTwPfQoC4d7TTj6KPoR1J5w  

CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA:

If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today!

Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated!

If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at cynthia@jolicoeur.com

To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here.

Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin

Alice Alexandrescu is an options facilitator who helps people identify and protect their  mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical boundaries. Currently, she is mentoring under Tony Blauer in his SPEAR System Elite Masterclass. She is an army veteran, holds a master of fine arts in behavioral aesthetics and is a qualified mental health associate skills trainer. In 2020, Alice was awarded third place in the National Veterans’ Art Festival for her piece entitled, “888 Paper Cranes”, which she gradually completed while hospitalized for PTSD. Saying, “during my treatment, crushing waves of emotions, thought, and sensation were delicately folded into each crane”. Alice’s work can be viewed in her Instagram where she just lays her studio and research methodology as a public living journal in video and photography. 

In this episode, Alice and I discuss:

• Standing up for injustice and learning the skills to back up that courage
• Recognizing cycles of abuse - listening to your intuition
• Non-clinical art therapy and other tools for healing

Key Takeaways:

• Learning self-defense doesn’t only have to be for yourself, you can use it to protect others and take action when you see injustice and abuse. 
• Just because the current abuse you take is lesser than the previous, doesn’t mean that it’s better - don’t fall into the trap of abusive cycles. 
• Survivors of abuse often speak of a “bad feeling” that they get before the abuse happened. Learn to listen to your gut and respond to it accordingly. 
• Creations of art often bring about healing through self-reflection and expression of pain. Similarly, self-defense can be considered a certain kind of art in itself. 

“When I start making these choices to advocate for my needs, be self-aware, identify what I need and want, be brave to communicate that, and respond to the response..." —  Alice Alexandrescu

Connect with Alice Alexandrescu:

Instagram: https://Instagram.com/alicejoanirene

CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA:

If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today!

Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated!

If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at cynthia@jolicoeur.com

To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here.

Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin