Did many people feel homesick at boarding school?

Reading the biographies of Bear Grylls, Minnie Driver, Jeremy Paxman, Roald Dahl we can see that they all suffered with homesickness.

Today I also explore the work of Joy Schaverien in Boarding School Syndrome where she says, "Homesickness has been reframed as bereavement."

Are we really bereaved rather than homesick?

Take care,

Piers

#boardingschool #homesickness #bereavement #beargrylls

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

Drawing on the work of Kouzes and Posner and their excellent book, The Leadership Challenge, what are the 5 principles of a great leader?

I discuss all 5 qualities and traits while linking that in to the UK.

Why is it that we have so few good leaders in the UK?

Over the past few decades there have been consistently poor leaders in charge.

Today I talk about why I feel this is.

I draw upon the work of Oliver Bullough and Butler to The World, and Warren Bennis' On Becoming a Leader.

#leadership #greatleaders #Ukleaders

Take care,

Piers

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

How can we heal childhood trauma if we have tried many different therapies and nothing has worked?

Today I am speaking with Siamon Emery, a globally experienced mentor talking about his journey through childhood trauma and recovery.

Growing up with parents who were addicts meant that he lived through a lot of trauma.

This impacted him in relationships, at work and mentally.

Today he shares his fascinating journey of recovery - the practices he uses like yoga, somatic experiencing and how we too can start to regulate our nervous systems.

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Siamon Emery is a globally experienced mentor specializing in trauma recovery, nervous system regulation, and guiding high-performing entrepreneurs and leaders through personal and professional growth. His approach draws from a unique blend of lived experience, spiritual practice, and scientific study, shaped by years of immersing himself in diverse cultures and healing modalities across Costa Rica, India, and Australia.

Questions for Siamon:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. What are some of the most common self-sabotaging patterns you see in high achievers, and why are they so difficult to overcome?
3. How does unresolved trauma manifest in professional settings, and what can leaders do to address these hidden barriers?
4. Can you explain the connection between nervous system regulation and decision-making in high-pressure environments like entrepreneurship or leadership?
5. What role does fear play in keeping people stuck, even when they’re consciously trying to grow or expand their business or personal life?
6. You often mention the importance of rewiring the nervous system—what practical steps can someone take to start this process?
7. How did your personal journey and experiences with trauma shape the way you coach and mentor others today?
8. What advice do you give to entrepreneurs or leaders who feel overwhelmed or paralyzed when making high-stakes decisions?
9. For people who feel like they’ve tried everything—therapy, coaching, spiritual practices—what makes your approach different?
10. How can someone tell if they are operating from a place of fear or if they are genuinely making the right decision to stay within their comfort zone?
11. You work at the intersection of spirituality and science. How do you blend the two in your mentorship and healing practices, and why do you think this balance is so effective?
12. How do people find out more about your work?

For more information please visit: https://siamonemery.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/siamon.emery/

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

The new documentary, Boarding On Insanity featuring many experts including Dr Gabor Mate, Dr Suzanne Zeedyk, Nick Duffell and Prof Joy Schaverien is nearing completion

https://www.piers-cross.com/boarding-school-film

The film explores the question, Are our leaders traumatised?

And the trauma? Boarding school.

Many of the world's leading business and political figures have attended these schools from Mark Zuckerberg to Donald Trump and from Richard Branson to Boris Johnson.

What is the impact of going to these schools?

We explore the stories of those who went to boarding school and ask experts what the impact might be on our leaders.

If you would like to be notified of the film release please do join our email list here: https://www.piers-cross.com/boarding-school-film

Any questions please do comment below.

#boardingschool #boardingoninsanity #gabormate

Take care,

Piers

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

What is attachment theory? And how does your attachment style affect your time at boarding school?

In a fascinating conversation, leading attachment expert, Anne Power, talks about the four attachment styles of secure, avoidant, anxious ambivalent and disorganized.

What are their experiences of boarding school like? Does the securely attached child do well?

Does everyone come out of boarding school with an avoidant attachment?

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Anne Power, is a couple counsellor and has taught psychotherapy and supervision on university courses in London. She has published many academic papers on attachment and two books.

She started her counselling work thirty years ago. Her initial training was as a psychoanalytic psychotherapist with a special interest in attachment theory. Later she trained in a systemic model and this integration – of attachment and systemic thinking - matches with EFT (Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy) which is the model in which she is now developing her practice.

Annie posts on Instagram most days with supportive ideas about relationships - that's at 'and_attachment' Her TEDx talk provides a brief overview of attachment theory and has over 600k views.

Some of the questions and areas interest:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you arrive at doing what you do now?
2. Would you please introduce us to attachment theory. What is it? Could you talk a little about the different forms of attachment? (p. 15)
3. Could you please speak to how attachment theory relates to relationships? Why does connection to ourselves better equip us for relationships?
4. What happens when a child with one of the 4 attachment styles arrives at boarding school?
5. In your research will secure kids thrive at boarding schools? If not, why not? What happens to their relationship with their parents?
6. What about avoidants. How do they cope with separation from home?
7. How about ambivalents? How do they cope with boarding school?
8. What about disorganized attachment? How is boarding school for them?
9. Some other areas to talk about:
   1. Neurodivergent
   2. Learning

For more information about Anne Power please visit: https://www.contentedcouples.com/

#attachmenttheory #attachment #boardingschool

Or to purchase her book: https://www.karnacbooks.com/product/contented-couples-magic-logic-or-luck/96376/?MATCH=1

And for her Instagram & Ted X Talk: https://www.instagram.com/and_attachment

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9idayJyWCWs&t=204s

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

"We live in a world where people think nothing of isolating a child from their family and peers, shaming them, punishing them, and often reducing them to tears in the name of entertainment for television shows and social media clips, all without the child's consent.

Our governments seem hell-bent on making life as difficult as possible for families, and particularly for children, the only constituents who don't get a say in their futures. " Sarah Ockwell-Smith

What is going on regarding the grooming gangs?

Here we have another cover up from the British establishment - for 25 years people have been speaking up about the grooming and rape gangs and yet very little has been done.

Here I talk about the different inquiries over the years and why they don't work.

IICSA - the inquiry into child sexual abuse spent just under £200 million and of the 20 recommendations none, I repeat none have been implemented.

Why is that we just don't seem to care about the people especially children?

I also talk about duty of care and how the duty is always to the institution and rarely the person.

Here is the BBC articles: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cy767y0y6dzo

What do you feel?

Take care, Piers

#groominggangs #childsexualabuse #IICSA

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

Today I am speaking with consultant clinical psychologist, Dr Warren Larkin.

Dr Larkin is a specialist in the area of Adverse Childhood Experiences or ACES and implementing trauma-informed approaches to organisations.

Today we explore trauma. What is it?

We also talk about ACES. What are the 10 ACES and how do they link to boarding school? Could we do a study into the Adverse Childhood Experiences at boarding school?

He shares how those who have been through childhood trauma can be negatively impacted as adults and the financial cost on society

He also talks about how doing routine enquiry into ACES with patients can support survivors to heal.

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Warren Larkin is a consultant clinical psychologist who prior to founding Warren Larkin Associates in 2017, spent 24 years in the NHS, working predominantly with individuals and families experiencing serious mental health difficulties.

Warren is currently co-leading the implementation of trauma informed approaches in 100 secondary schools in England, which is being evaluated by means of a randomised controlled trial funded by the Youth Endowment Fund and the Home Office.

Questions for Warren:

1. I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?
2. Could you please speak to Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES)? What are they and how do ACES impact us both as adults and children?
3. What are the 10 different ACES?
4. What are some of the outcomes of ACES later in life?
5. I would love for you to speak to routine enquiry about adversity.
6. Some of the studies you have been involved in really fascinate me. The study about the healthcare cost of sexual abuse survivors is astonishing. Could you please talk to that?
7. And could you please speak to the 100 school study into what the right trauma informed support and interventions can do for the children?
8. What is trauma-informed practice?
9. How do we improve educational setting to be more trauma informed?
10. Boarding school and ACES. I would love for us to discuss boarding schools and ACES and the overlap.
11. Emotional health. What is an emotional health intervention? What would that look like in practice?
12. Is there a link between childhood trauma and psychosis? If yes, could you please talk to that.
13. How do people find out more about your work?

#ACEs #AdverseChildhoodExperiences #Childhoodtrauma

To get in touch with Dr Larkin or to learn more please visit: https://warrenlarkinassociates.co.uk/

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/

In 1993 three months after I left boarding school I went to work as an assitant housemaster and a teaching assistant at a boarding school in Australia.

Today I talk about the experience.

What was it like?

If I hated boarding school so much why did I go and work in another boarding school?

I explore institutionalisation and I share not being liked, being called names and caning among other things.

Take care, Piers

#boardingschool #teaching #teacher

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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.

He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.

He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1

For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross

For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic

For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community

Many blessings,

Piers Cross

http://piers-cross.com/