Trigger warning: This episode may include discussions about suicide, mental illness, substance abuse and self-harm. If these topics are sensitive to you, proceed with caution. It may also contain strong language and is intended for an adult audience.

Suicide warning signs can be found at the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention website (Afsp.org).

Today we hear from a woman who was coached by Steve Tarpinian. Deb Savarese discovered triathlon when she decided to do a triathlon to celebrate her 50th birthday. She signed up for a tri clinic and shortly afterward joined Steve's training group, Team Total Training. Deb misses Steve greatly. She feels he is still with us. She can still hear his voice especially when she's swimming.

Notables include:

• Steve really knew how to make beginners feel welcome
• Steve loved and embraced all his athletes; he was a mentor and a friend
• Steve impacted Deb in a huge way: she is not afraid to take on challenges, she is able to believe in herself more, she thinks bigger, works harder and really embraces discipline - all things she learned from Steve
• Even when a person we know dies by suicide, they can still be with us. As Deb says, “Steve is still her coach”
• It's difficult to know how serious a suicidal person's struggles are. At times Steve seemed moody, not easy to approach, withdrawn versus his usual bubbly, social self.
• When Steve died, Deb knew right away that he took his own life because of struggles she had heard he was having. The last time she saw him, he did not look well. His appearance had changed, he was disheveled, distracted.
• The only warning sign Deb can remember is that Steve called her twice right before he died which was not something he ever did. He never called to chat. In retrospect, she feels he was trying to say good bye.
• The only way to open the door about mental health is to talk about it. Deb has since learned it's okay to ask someone if they are thinking of taking their own life. We shouldn't be afraid to pry.

Medical Advisory:

The Run This World Podcast & the Touched by Suicide series does not provide crisis, counseling or direct services. The information and resources contained on this site are not intended to diagnose or treat any condition. Please consult a mental health professional before making changes to your treatment plan.

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Music credit: "Forgiveness" by Sensho from Upbeatt.io