In this conversation, Professor Sam Vaknin and I delve into the complexities of narcissism, exploring its definitions, development, and the impact of childhood trauma.

⁠⁠His YouTube channels ⁠⁠have garnered 82,000,000 views and 392,000 subscribers.

About Sam:

• Professor of Clinical Psychology, Business Management in CIAPS (Cambridge, Birmingham UK; Ontario, Canada; Lagos, Nigeria), SEEU (Visiting, N. Macedonia).
• PhD in Physics. Visiting Professor of Psychology, Southern Federal University, Rostov-on-Don, Russia (2017-22).
• Former economic advisor to governments, multinationals.
• Founder Healthcare Committee, Macedonia. Columnist, editor.
• Author of Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited (1st edition 1999, 10th edition. in 2015).

Our conversation also touches on the dynamics of narcissistic relationships and the different types of narcissists, including pro-social narcissists, and their methods of manipulation.

• The distinction between healthy and pathological narcissism
• The role of the false self
• The emotional landscape of narcissists

We talk about the complexities of narcissism, distinguishing between pro-social and malignant narcissists. Professor Vaknin explains the manipulative tactics used by narcissists to ensnare their victims, emphasizing the psychological dynamics at play.

The discussion highlights the transition from victimhood to survival, the cyclical nature of narcissistic relationships, and the impact of narcissistic abuse on individuals.

Professor Vaknin also addresses the divide between clinical psychology and the lived experiences of victims, shedding light on the smear campaigns that often follow a relationship with a narcissist.

Ultimately, the conversation underscores the importance of self-empowerment and healing in the aftermath of such relationships.

Noteable quotes from our interview:

• "Narcissism is a self-like state."
• "Pathological narcissism is an escape route."
• "The child engages in human sacrifice to this monotheistic God."
• "Narcissists resonate with you."
• "Narcissists outsource their emotions."
• "The narcissist has never become an individual."
• "You can become a baby again."
• "I give you permission to be weak."
• "85% of narcissists are classical."
• "They trigger in you the maternal protective instinct."
• "You get addicted to your own image."
• "Victimhood is not a life-oriented identity."
• "You have been victimized, but that does not define you."
• "Narcissists are promiscuous when it comes to mate selection."
• "Narcissistic abuse is about eliminating you."
• "Devaluation and discard can be internalized."
• "The smear campaign is not about you."
• "You are entangled, you're bound for life."

In this episode, I interview my friend Michelle, who shares her personal journey with her BRCA1 gene mutation diagnosis.

Michelle discusses the importance of understanding family medical history, the emotional challenges of her diagnosis, and the preventive measures she took, including 4 surgeries.

She emphasizes the need for support systems and the power of knowledge in making informed health decisions.

Our conversation also touches on the hope for future advancements in cancer prevention and treatment.

Michelle discusses the emotional and physical aspects of her experiences, the importance of knowledge and advocacy in health decisions, and the need for awareness and self-care in the context of breast cancer.

This episode is all about being proactive in health management.

Michelle's authenticity and openness about what she went through will inspire others to share their stories and support one another in their journeys.

Notable statistics

• Brca1- upwards of 80% chance for BC and 45% OC
• Brca2-upwards of 80% BC and 15% OC One in 400 regular population.
• One in 40 Jewish population

Genetic mutation testing companies

• Color
• Invitae

Stanford Breast Oncologist: Dr. Allison Kurian

Stanford Gynecological oncologist: Dr. Amer Karam

Stanford plastic surgeon specializing in reconstruction: Dr. Gabriel Kind

Plastic surgeon specializing in nerve preservation and reconstruction: Dr. Anne Peled

In this episode, I discuss my personal journey with mental health, focusing on my experiences with OCD and body image issues.

I emphasize the importance of mental health awareness, social connections, and the various components that contribute to mental well-being.

Throughout the episode, you'll hear which strategies work for me to manage OCD, including therapy, medication, and exercise, while also addressing the societal pressures surrounding body image and eating disorders.

I encourage anyone who is listening to or reading this to embrace their mental health journeys with self-compassion and openness.

Key takeaways

• Mental health consists of psychological, emotional, and social well-being.
• Social connection is crucial for happiness, even for introverts.
• OCD can manifest as overthinking and rumination.
• Exercise is beneficial for mental health and managing OCD.
• Medication can be a helpful tool for managing mental health.
• Body image issues are prevalent and can lead to disordered eating.
• Therapy and self-compassion are essential for mental health.
• It's important to talk openly about mental health struggles.
• Dieting can have negative effects on mental and physical health.
• Everyone's mental health journey is unique and valid.

Resources

• American Psychological Association
• International OCD Foundation
• National Eating Disorders Association
• BetterHelp - online therapy
• Harvard happiness study