Welcome to Normal but Not! I’m Krystal Centinello, a trauma-informed coach here to help people-pleasers reclaim their power, set healthy boundaries, and live authentically. Today, we’re diving into one of the most universal but hidden fears many of us carry: the fear of being abandoned or disliked.

In this episode, I share my own story of staying in an emotionally abusive relationship due to a deep fear of being unloved and judged. Together, we’ll unpack how early attachment styles often root these fears in childhood and how they show up in our adult relationships. From anxious to avoidant attachment, I’ll cover how our relationship dynamics can stem from early experiences with caregivers—and outline ways to reframe and heal.

What We’ll Cover:

• Attachment Styles & Fears of Rejection: A look into how different attachment styles (secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized) can shape our fears.
• Where These Fears Come From: How childhood experiences with conditional love, inconsistent caregiving, or trauma influence our adult relationships.

Practical Steps to Overcome These Fears:

1. Identify the Root of Your Fear: Reflect on childhood experiences that may have planted the seeds of these fears. Journaling about this can be an enlightening start to healing.
2. Challenge the Fear of Rejection: Reframe rejection as something that reflects more on others than on you. A mantra like "I am worthy, even if someone doesn’t approve of me" can be a helpful reminder.
3. Practice Saying 'No' Without Fear: Begin by setting boundaries in small situations. You’ll start to see that people value you even when you’re not constantly saying "yes."
4. Build Secure Relationships: Seek out relationships where you feel accepted as you are. Surrounding yourself with supportive people helps build resilience against the fear of being disliked.
5. Break the Cycle for the Next Generation: If you’re a parent, model unconditional love, which can prevent children from developing these fears.

Special Insight: The Fifth Agreement’s Movie Theater Analogy I also bring in The Fifth Agreement by Don Miguel Ruiz, using the "movie theater" analogy to explain why not taking things personally can be freeing. Imagine everyone as the star of their own "movie"—others’ words and actions reflect their own perceptions, not who we are. This mindset helps us detach from personalizing others' reactions and diminishes the fear of being disliked.