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Zombie Paradise Lost

By: Javan Bonds
Narrated by: S.W. Salzman, Eric A. Shelman
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Summary

In a world overrun by rabid, naked, blue zombies, feeding on the flesh of all, a glimmering jewel of humanity endures. The Island of Guntersville has become a hopeful paradise for the survivors of the plague that ravages the land. Follow Mo, Smokes, Easy, and the rest of his band of misfits - oh, and a ninja monkey - on their replica pirate ship, the Viva Ancora, as they set off on a wild blue adventure in search of "the cure".

Meanwhile, back in the tranquil oasis, something dark and sinister has crept in. A wolf in sheep's clothing. A vile monster that hungers for the treasure that is humanity’s best hope for the future - the children.

Can good triumph over evil? Will this wickedness spread? Who will stand against the malevolence? Is all hope lost? It's the end of the world as we know it.

Come join us, friend. In a place where the zombies bite, fish bite, life always bite, and sometimes, people bite. Welcome to Zombie Paradise Lost.

©2019 Javan Bonds (P)2019 Javan Bonds
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What listeners say about Zombie Paradise Lost

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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Rollercoaster

Another rollercoaster journey from Javan & a super cliffhanger, great as per usual, next one please, NOW.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

This audio book will make you cry and smile and late for work it's 100% fun and don't for get that s.w.salesman has a audio book out as well 1000%

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Yikes!

What do you get when you cross a team of good guys, naked zombies, a wolf and a mystery? You get another great book by Javan Bonds! The Peevies are evolving, and acting human?!? The kids are disappearing, people are eating some really tasty BBQ, and now of their own has gone missing. Will the crew turn back from all the damn dam work they are doing and help before it’s too late? I don’t know! So, I’m going to keep reading and find out.

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Still a brilliant series. Brilliant narration

I have listened to the whole of this series so far and this instalment is just as brilliant as the others.

I couldn’t get enough of “the damn dam” lol and of course Smokes and Moe. The scene with the haircut is hilarious. I love the development of the other characters too. Looking forward to the next instalment.

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Blue PV's on overload!

If you have made it to book 6 then you know what you are in for! Taking place at the same time frame as book 5 the story fills in the events in Guntersville whilst Mo and Co are off searching for a cure! The book is filled with naked blue-na-tics in abundance and keeps you listening and listening!

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Pass me some cannibalism please

It’s another great addition to the series. That combination of insulting humor and gory zombie deaths has me snort laughing my way through the book. If you are squeamish about any type of bodily discharges or easily offended by religious or political jokes, then this might not be the series for you. For the rest of us that can laugh at ourselves, others, and blue, naked zombie cannibals, this is the series for us!

Book 5 followed our hero, Mo Collins, and his gang out on the pirate ship Viva Ancora. Here in Book 6, it’s the same time frame but focuses more on what’s happening back at home on the zombie-free island of Guntersville. It was great to explore this timeline more as Book 5 hinted at what evil was happening back home. Us readers know to watch out for Mike Brown, but the people of Guntersville have to investigate the multiple cases of missing children. In strides Sako, who takes on the persona of Rorscharch from The Watchmen. Yes! I loved this character and this alter ego.

While I do get a good laugh out of creative ways to kill zombies, there were a lot of penile injuries. The first few were funny, but I did get a little tired of it after a while. Though I did snicker when one of the characters (Mo?) comments that he didn’t think he could see another blue penis destroyed in a unique way ever again. Same with the zombie poo. So much poo everywhere! At first, it’s funny background and yet another reason to avoid becoming a zombie. But after a while, it was a little tiresome. I could use more nerd references instead. I adore all the movie and book references.

The ending wraps up some things but leaves us hanging on a limb over a canyon in other areas. So looking forward to the next book in the series! 4.5/5 stars.

The Narration: S. W. Salzman continues to do this series justice. I loved his Rorschach voice – spot on! I always love his Mo voice – so funny and innocent well-meaning idiot average guy. His female voices sound feminine and all the characters have their own unique voices. The pacing is perfect and his delivery of the humor is excellent. There were no technical issues with this recording. 5/5 stars.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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Keeps you entranced

If you like your zombies nude, blue and rabid along with a big helping of humor then jump right in to this awesome world that Javan Bonds has created.
Mo, Smokes, Easy and the rest of the Viva Ancora crew are still working their way downriver in search of the scientist who might have a "cure" for this man-made apocalyptic plague. Naturally for Mo, just going down the river isn't easy sailing. There's damns and locks on the river they have to get through, of course there's the peevies, but only when Mo is around, I swear Mo is a peevie magnet, and unbeknownst to the crew someone, well actually something is following them.
Meanwhile in Guntersville there's a wolf in sheep's clothing, someone who you would expect to be a protector, taking the island's most important and valuable treasure, the children. That someone is also trying to take the control and the power of the island and part of that plan is to make Mayor Randy Collins look guilty of taking the children.
This book will make you laugh in spots and stare stunned in others as we lose people and evil tries to gain the upper hand. I couldn't put this down, I stayed up way way past my bed time listening to this story. The pace is fast and the writing flows perfectly. The author makes the characters come alive, so much so that you start to become invested in their lives and their stories and want to know what happens to them. But like all good things this book comes to an end, and what an end it is, there's one hell of a cliffhanger, you'll catch yourself cussing at the author haha. My only complaint is now I have to impatiently wait for the next book in this amazingly funny/apocalyptic horror. The narrator chosen to do this book NAILED IT!!!

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  • Overall
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Another excellent masterpiece by Javan Bonds!

Mo & friends face more gore, horror & humour on their mission to find the cure, while their loved ones face more danger when a wolf hides amongst the sheep! Another exciting death defying adventure from Javan Bonds that I couldn't put down and was disappointed when it ended too soon, leaving me with the question all authors hate: "When is the next book due out" - I need to know what happens next.

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Think Redneck

This series covers everything and so much more beware you must act and thing as a real southern redneck or as the legends describe rednecks.
I am writing this and waiting in book 7 to be released it adventures of MO and his band of humans after a virus is released and turn people into zombies not your normal zombies but they are blue, constantly hungry and erect cock. Now as the story goes on you find these zombies are changing and growing, they getting faster, groups are nesting with a queen who does nothing but get bred and have more zombies. Now for the remnants of human they are not doing to well they keep killing each other by accident or as food source. Killing for food is a minster who came to town and started killing the children of the members of his flock and they are stupid enough not question him when he feeds them and they do not know they are eating their own children they have taken the minster at his word and blind faith.
There is so many plots, storylines and adventures you need to either read or listen to them so remember your are A Southern Redneck no education or brains trying to survive the blue zombies who wants to eat you.

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Zombies & Cannibals

What an adventure! Zombie Paradise Lost takes the readers/listeners on a fast-paced, winding zombie-infested journey packed with gore, humour, and loads of inappropriate and politically incorrect remarks. I smiled or laughed the whole time, by the time the audiobook ended, my cheeks hurt.

The storyline is cleverly composed, entertaining, and wholly satisfying. The zombies are evolving, becoming faster and more dangerous. Mo and the company are still on the pirate ship, Viva Ancora, in search of the cure, while having to constantly battle zombies. On the home-front, trouble brews, Children are going missing, and an evil cannibal, a wolf, cloaked in a sheep's clothing, is trying to take over. Survivors are still killing each other accidentally or becoming tasty morsels for the naked and erect cannibalistic blue zombies or other humans.

Topnotch performance by S.W. Salzman, an incredibly talented narrator. He captured the nuances of the characters, the accents, and inflexions, literally breathing life into their personalities. I thoroughly enjoyed this series and will read or listen to anything by Javan Bonds, a gifted storyteller and an inspiration.

I highly recommend the Still Alive series, but not to those of you who are squeamish.

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