What on Earth?
An Alien's Guide to Fixing Britain
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What on Earth?
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Narrated by:
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Count Binface
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By:
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Count Binface
About this listen
The much-needed manifesto by the Sanest Politician in the Entire Cosmos, from capping the price of croissants at £1 to taking over Downing Street.
Greetings, life-form! My name is Count Binface. I am an intergalactic space warrior, leader of the Recyclons and three-time British election veteran. And as part of my overarching mission to control the entire omniverse, I have come to conquer Britain.
It's not that I want to do this—you need me to. Because the one thing everyone can agree on right now is that Earth is in an absolute state. And of all its messed-up nations, the British are particularly deranged.
In this book, I share my story for the first time, my political beliefs and even the occasional recipe, in return for a reasonable—nay, bargain—amount of Earth currency.
I also provide an alien's-visor-view of your past, so that you can learn from past mistakes. This isn't the first potted history of Britain ever to be committed to print, but I can guarantee that compared to any others, mine will be the most accurate. If anyone cares to argue about that, which one of us has had access to a time machine?
So settle down, grab a beverage, and let's make your planet Count.
©2022 Jon Harvey (P)2022 Quercus Editions LimitedListeners also enjoyed...
What listeners say about What on Earth?
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Ben
- 13-10-22
Awesome!
The best political memoir ever!
Essential reading for the future of mankind!
Also, rather hilarious
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- P. Johnson
- 22-01-23
Out of this world
Brilliantly funny and narrated by the Great Count hisself, Highly recommended to all who needs a laugh
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- J
- 06-06-23
Excellent: sensible policies for a better quadrant
Fun, intelligent and deftly delivered.
Genuinely agree that there is more sense here than in most political manifestos - would happily listen to much more
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 23-02-23
Packed with jokes
Highly entertaining. Talks a lot of ridiculous sense. Fingers crossed for a Count Binface government!
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 16-04-23
Two cheap Corbyn jokes in and I'm done
Technically a good listen. Well produced and well read but it really wasn't what I was hoping for after seeing count binface on politicsjoe.
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance2 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Lesley Goodman
- 14-01-23
Very funny in parts.
Sadly the voice will irritate people as it did me, I persevered. Its a reasonable listen. I only wish that they had chosen someone with a funny voice. The narrator spoils this.. I won't listen to it again.
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