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What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat

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What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat

By: Aubrey Gordon
Narrated by: Samara Naeymi
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About this listen

From the creator of Your Fat Friend and co-host of the Maintenance Phase podcast, an explosive indictment of the systemic and cultural bias facing plus-size people.

Anti-fatness is everywhere. In What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Fat, Aubrey Gordon unearths the cultural attitudes and social systems that have led to people being denied basic needs because they are fat and calls for social justice movements to be inclusive of plus-sized people’s experiences. Unlike the recent wave of memoirs and quasi self-help books that encourage listeners to love and accept themselves, Gordon pushes the discussion further towards authentic fat activism, which includes ending legal weight discrimination, giving equal access to health care for large people, increased access to public spaces, and ending anti-fat violence. As she argues, “I did not come to body positivity for self-esteem. I came to it for social justice.”

By sharing her experiences as well as those of others - from smaller fat to very fat people - she concludes that to be fat in our society is to be seen as an undeniable failure, unlovable, unforgivable, and morally condemnable. Fatness is an open invitation for others to express disgust, fear, and insidious concern. To be fat is to be denied humanity and empathy. Studies show that fat survivors of sexual assault are less likely to be believed and less likely than their thin counterparts to report various crimes; 27 percent of very fat women and 13 percent of very fat men attempt suicide; over 50 percent of doctors describe their fat patients as “awkward, unattractive, ugly and noncompliant”; and in 48 states, it’s legal - even routine - to deny employment because of an applicant’s size.

Advancing fat justice and changing prejudicial structures and attitudes will require work from all people. What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Fat is a crucial tool to create a tectonic shift in the way we see, talk about, and treat our bodies, fat and thin alike.

©2020 Aubrey Gordon (P)2020 Beacon Press
Anthropology Gender Studies Women
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Critic reviews

“Everyone who has a fat family member, friend, acquaintance, or coworker should read this insightful book.”
Library Journal, Starred Review

“Gordon provides candid storytelling and critical analysis in this validating and inclusive read.”
Ms. Magazine

“Writing from a personal and cultural perspective, Gordon goes beyond cosmetic complaints to undress the depths of anti-fat bias and discrimination, ultimately rallying for a social justice movement to form and broaden the scope of the conversation.”
CultureShift

What listeners say about What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

I think everyone should listen to it however..

I think everyone should listen to it however I barely could listen to chapter 5&6 because there was a lot of talk about rape and assault and I thought that the author should've given a warning as it can be a an incredibly difficult thing to talk about or listen to.

The book itself is very informative and interesting. it's not what i thought it would be. Also, it is mostly catered to people who live in America though some things apply internationally.

At points I felt guilty for my size, that I am not fat and if I am that I am at the thinner end and I felt a bit excluded but that could be my perception.

I would recommend this book for sure though at points it was hard to listen to.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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An important book.

This is not a comfortable read, especially for those of us who have faced prejudice and attempts at shaming us.

But it is a very important addition to the canon of literature about the fat experience.

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3 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Essential

I’m a devoted listener of Aubrey’s (and Michael’s) podcast Maintenance Phase so I was excited to hear this. Bit disappointed that it’s not Aubrey reading it, as her delivery would have made it even better IMO, but once I got over that and got into the content I really enjoyed it. She writes beautifully and with a calm clarity about issues that affect fat people every day. This is a book that should be shared far and wide.

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Excellent

Aubrey Gordon done an excellent job at explaining complex phenomenon of fatpobia. She presented the topic both through professional research and heart breaking personal stories.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Wonderful. Empowering for fat people, of different intersectionalities.

Aubrey is a fantastic author. She covered all issues or questions I have and others around me have had. I feel more empowered now coming out of it to call out fatphobic behaviour, and to love myself more, addressing my own internalised fatphobia and hate for my own body. She covers a huge range of intersectionalities, including being black and fat, trans identities, ablism and even the different challenges fat men face. I highly recommend, very insightful.

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Wonderful and affirming

This is a must listen for anyone fat or who loves a fat person. The systemic societal discrimination against fat people is horrendous and destructive. This book explains why and what shoukd be done.

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Read it

If you’ve ever had to navigate the world in a fat body, you will probably find echos of your own story here, and feel heard and understood. If you haven’t experienced the world in a fat body then reading this, I hope, will help you grow your own understanding and compassion for real people of size. Hopefully together we can build the just world Aubrey dreams of.

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A must read !!!!

I never realised what a fat shaming world we live in. this lady's accounts of abuse, hatred are just heart breaking this book is a massive eye opener

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

an indictment on our societies’ prejudice and systemic abuse of fat bodies.

What we don’t talk about when we talk about fat, by Aubrey Gordon

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
This is a wonderful book which reads as a collection of interconnected essays, on various facets of the fat experience. In it, Aubrey Gordon explores the prevalence and insidiousness of fat-phobia and anti-fatness.
I particularly loved the final section of the book, in which Gordon explores a ‘utopia’ where all people are respected, and then outlines the specific ways this could be achieved. The very fact that this is a utopian vision serves as an indictment on our societies’ prejudice and systemic abuse of fat bodies.

A really great read, only losing a star as it focuses a lot on the US healthcare system, and I would have loved to hear some interviews of people with more intersectional identities, as opposed to just Gordon’s own experience. But a fantastic read nonetheless.

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Fat or thin- everybody should read this

fatphobia and the language around it has only been explicitly highlighted to me over the past couple of years - I have the privilege of a smaller body. since knowing about it I have been a huge supporter of fat acceptance but honestly my knowledge was not the best. This book has completely changed that, it is very eye opening and highlights the extent of the discrimination fat people face! It’s a great read- fat or not - very well written, chapters are clear and interesting!

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