A book for professionals, but still accessible

Full of science and the latest theory. Very interesting even for the lay person. I would recommend to professionals and amateur psychologists alike.

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life changing.

I cannot recommend this enough. This has changed the way I understand other people and my relationships

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Break through

This book will remain one of the best I read, and I read a lot. It's so Interesting and moving that this author spent his life dedicated to find solutions for everyone suffering from trauma while most people don't even care. It changed me. I am very grateful for this author and his book. The reading is absolutely great too.

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Fascinating

I could not put this book down. This is hope and real healing for the traumatised.

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great book

Lots of useful information, great help in understanding myself better. Positive end.
Well read.

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The Body Keeps the Score

I listened to 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐃𝐘 𝐊𝐄𝐄𝐏𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐄 by Bessel A van der Kolk after a counsellor recommended it to me, and for anyone who has experienced childhood trauma or child abuse, I think it's a must-read/must-listen.
I have the above questions in mind a lot, as while I get on with my parents (Dad and step-mum) at a surface level, they don't know me on a deeper level, which to me feels like they don't really know me at all. And as you can probably tell already, this is a very personal review!
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𝐍𝐨𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐮𝐩 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐢𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐦𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬, 𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐟 𝐰𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐢𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐦𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 ... 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐬, 𝐢𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐬 𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐮𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬.
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Speaking from personal experience, I do sometimes find myself feeling overwhelmed emotionally by the traumas and abuse I've experienced, and they have undoubtedly shaped my life - I would use the word 'shaped' loosely as, if I'm honest with myself, I do feel bitterness and anger about it, though I try to let it go as much as I can. Given that I'm in my mid-30s now I wonder if these feelings will ever truly pass.
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𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐭-𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐅𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥, 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐦𝐚 𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.
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While The Body Keeps the Score is primarily focussed on trauma and abuse from a psychiatrist's perspective, and so talks about different research and treatment, a lot of the content did ring true for me. Not just in relation to common behaviour and expression, or lack of, in traumatised people, but also in how suppressed trauma and emotions can result in other health problems, such as autoimmune and digestive issues, which I now have.
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𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐦 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐬 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩.
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐬, 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐦𝐦𝐨𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐩𝐬𝐞. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐞𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐠𝐨 𝐨𝐧 𝐮𝐧𝐚𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝, 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 ... 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐞.
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I have a tendency, which my partner has called me on several times, to constantly feel as though I need to somehow 'fix' myself, or improve myself. And I do wish I could feel more comfortable in my own skin.
However, the impacts of abuse and trauma run deep, and especially when these things occur in a childhood, because trauma causes the body and mind to develop differently to that of a healthy and happy child/person. And these days we are all very aware of generational trauma, and the biological changes that can occur.
It isn't a case of simply getting over something that happened in the past, and focussing on the positives in the present and future - while it's of course important to focus on the good things, the positives don't eradicate past negative experiences.
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𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐧 𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭. 𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦 𝐨𝐟 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 ... 𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐰 𝐮𝐩 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐮𝐧𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞. 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐨 𝐛𝐚𝐝𝐥𝐲.
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The Body Keeps the Score was published back in 2014, and while we still live in a society that seems to prioritise the physical appearance of health over genuine mental wellbeing, I do think there are some positives to note.
Yes, drugs are still over-subscribed, especially in the US, but more broadly too. However, more and more people are learning about and recognising the benefits of meditation, and practices like Yoga and Tai Chi - activities I've been trying to do more now that I struggle with more intense exercise.
In this way I hope to build my own equanimity and improve my sympathetic nervous system responses, so that my ingrained sense of fight or flight isn't triggered quite so regularly.
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𝐏𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐦𝐬 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐲𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐬𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐦, 𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭. 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭.
𝐈𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐰, 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐩 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐲, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫.
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I suppose like any other issues with mental health and wellbeing, it's a journey of improvement, and a process of healing, but I do sometimes wonder if we can ever fully heal from our personal traumas.
Hopefully one day I might feel differently and not feel like there is something 'wrong' with me, or that I have to please other people just to make them like me - something I'm working at improving all the time. And in fairness, I am much less of a people pleaser than I used to be, but I do recognise patterns in myself where I'm hyper-alert and reading much more into things than are really there.
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𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐬, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐬 𝐮𝐬𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐞: 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐦𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐭, 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦.
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I definitely recommend The Body Keeps the Score for anyone interested in psychiatry, or anyone on a journey to try and understand themselves/improve their experience of life when recovering for childhood abuse/trauma.
I also learned a new word: Alexithymia- which I didn't know was a thing, but DEFINITELY applies to me. And being able to name this, has helped me recognise that based on my experiences in life, it's not surprising that I have this, but also it is something I can keep working to change.
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𝐀𝐥𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐲𝐦𝐢𝐚 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐆𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 '𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬'. 𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐲 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧.
𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐟𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐫𝐲. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐞.
𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐬.
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I will definitely be listening to more of Bessel A van der Kolk's works, and I hope that if you are on a journey of trying to love, understand and accept yourself more, then this book can also bring you some peace.

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Outstanding and thorough investigation of trauma.

Everyone involved in working with people would benefit from listening to this book. Outstanding practical and theoretical book.

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Trauma

One of the most interesting and thought provoking books I've read on any subject. A wealth of information for anyone interested on the effect of any trauma within the human experience.

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Impressed

couldn't stop. It "s a must read for genuine therapists
and all seeking effective healing.

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Fascinating insight into trauma

Obviously written by a passionate, caring doctor who offers a different perspective and practical solutions.

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