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Seagulls from Hell

By: Ashley Lister
Narrated by: Ashley Lister
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Summary

People visit Blackpool for various reasons: sun, sea, sand, sex, and seagulls. This dark and twisted story, set against a backdrop of the UK’s most famous seaside resort, follows a private investigator as he tries to locate a missing person believed to be amongst the homeless community. It’s an investigation that will bring him face-to-face with violence, torture, punishment, murder, and the seagulls from hell.

From the novel:

The sign said: Welcome to Blackpool. With a lowering thundercloud on the horizon, and the first flecks of rain coming down, the view did not look particularly welcoming. The famous tower was a faraway blimp on the horizon. The curves of a gigantic roller coaster loomed like the curls of loose threads near the hem of a threadbare grey sky. The whole scene looked even less welcoming when a hefty spatter of seagull s--t slapped across the windscreen. The guano appeared like a mixture of white emulsion with a green and yellow kernel at its heart.

Overhead a seagull screamed.

“Filthy f--king creatures,” Chris grumbled. He hit the wiper and the screen wash. For a moment the entire screen was whitened by diluted bird s--t. Then the car’s single blade began to clear the mess and he was looking at the approaching town of Blackpool and telling himself this weekend wouldn’t be as bad as he feared.

“Isn’t it supposed to be lucky?” Pamela asked.

Chris said nothing. The car was a Pagani Huayra Roadster, based on the classic styling of the Pagani Zonda R. It was the sort of glossy, low-riding sports car that made heads turn when he drove past. The Nero Blackstar paintwork was something he polished every week until the vehicle was back to its usual oily luster. A spattering of corrosive seagull crap on the bonnet was going to mean he needed to T-cut the damned thing over the next weekend or maybe shell out for a professional external valet.

©2022 Ashley Lister (P)2022 Ashley Lister
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Irreverent, funny and gruesome

Irreverent, funny and gruesome. Leave your sensibilities at home and get down and dirty in the back streets of Blackpool. This is like a good pulp paperback from Hell in the heyday of horror gore. So much fun.

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Squawkingly Good Listen

I was so happy when this dropped that I abandoned the book I was listening to and got this in my ears instead! And I was not disappointed. Fabulously flawed characters (very flawed, some if them!) who were complex and often both sympathetic and not anyone you'd have over for dinner. The plot is great, the reader really wants to know where this is heading and what comes next. All that prevented me from finishing in a single day was the need to go out and earn the audible money!
And the seagulls... every opinion on seagulls is explored through the characters eyes. Their presence is pervasive throughout the book and that really does add to the atmosphere when the seagulls from hell make themselves known.
This is an excellent listen and I highly recommend it. Worth your credits!!

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