Listen free for 30 days

Listen with offer

Preview
  • Klopp Actually

  • (Imaginary) Life with Football's Most Sensible Heartthrob
  • By: Laura Lexx
  • Narrated by: Laura Lexx
  • Length: 2 hrs and 8 mins
  • 4.8 out of 5 stars (24 ratings)

£0.00 for first 30 days

Pick 1 audiobook a month from our unmatched collection - including bestsellers and new releases.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, Originals, celeb exclusives, and podcasts.
Access exclusive sales and deals.
£7.99/month after 30 days. Renews automatically. See here for eligibility.

Klopp Actually

By: Laura Lexx
Narrated by: Laura Lexx
Try for £0.00

£7.99/month after 30 days. Renews automatically. See here for eligibility.

Buy Now for £7.99

Buy Now for £7.99

Pay using card ending in
By completing your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and authorise Audible to charge your designated card or any other card on file. Please see our Privacy Notice, Cookies Notice and Interest-based Ads Notice.

Summary

Inspired by the viral tweet: 'If I ever met Jürgen Klopp I'd say "omg if we have a baby we should call it Klipp" just so he'd raise an eyebrow at me and tell me I'm a moron and I'd be so naked by the time he'd finished doing that....'

In these uncertain times we all need a coping mechanism. And Laura Lexx has found the obvious one - imagining life married to the sensible, no-nonsense man of our dreams, Jürgen Klopp. She thinks maybe he has something to do with football? More importantly, he definitely knows how to efficiently stack a dishwasher and would tell you honestly if you were being unreasonable about a colleague.

From job interviews to furniture shopping in IKEA to making a birthday cake for their daughter, Klipp, Klopp Actually is a hilarious, warm and deeply silly diary of life with everyone's favourite baseball-cap-wearing, bespectacled German football manager.

'I shiver, my skin breaking out into tiny goosebumps. "Are you cold?" He whispers, his lips brushing my ear, making the fine hairs ripple. "A little." I grin, pressing against his thigh. He runs a hand down the curve of my spine.... "You should put a jumper on."'

©2020 Laura Lexx (P)2020 Hodder & Stoughton Limited
activate_Holiday_promo_in_buybox_DT_T2

Listeners also enjoyed...

Pivot cover art
Sidesplitter cover art
Can I Have My Ball Back? cover art
From the Oasthouse: The Alan Partridge Podcast (Series 1) cover art
James Acaster's Guide to Quitting Social Media cover art
Invisible Women cover art
The Problem with Men cover art
Richard Herring's Would You Rather? cover art
i, Kunt : How I Became (and Remained) a Minor Internet Hit Singer cover art
Because I Don't Know What You Mean and What You Don't cover art
Unchained Melanie cover art
The Museum of Curiosity: Series 9-12 cover art
Binge cover art
Summer at the Cosy Cottage Cafe cover art
Whispers Through a Megaphone cover art
I'll Die After Bingo cover art

Critic reviews

"I'd love to read a whole book of Laura's funny, clever, sweet imagination...it made me laugh a huge amount!" (Marian Keyes)

"Laura is so funny and I can't wait to read this book and I hope it isn't awkward when I actually marry Jürgen Klopp." (Sara Pascoe)

"It's rare to find brilliant new talent, rarer still to discover it on twitter but Laura's thread on Klopp was my highlight of the year. I cannot wait to see what she does in book form. I shall devour it. A great shining comedic talent." (Emma Kennedy)

What listeners say about Klopp Actually

Average customer ratings
Overall
  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    19
  • 4 Stars
    4
  • 3 Stars
    1
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    0
Performance
  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    21
  • 4 Stars
    1
  • 3 Stars
    0
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    0
Story
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    16
  • 4 Stars
    4
  • 3 Stars
    2
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    0

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Entertaining

Funny and well told. Perhaps aimed more at women. Enjoyable all the same. Nice and short.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

excellent listen

A funny and engaging book that is skillfully read by Laura herself who is sure to be a future national treasure

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Hilarious imagination!!

brilliantly written and beautifully delivered, came recommended to me by friends and I wasn't disappointed!

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Hilarious!!! My favourite book on Audible ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

This book is brilliant and laugh out loud funny!!! I am a Liverpool fan but even if I wasn't or knew nothing about football I would still love this book. It is expertly narrated by the author with impeccable comedy timing. I have over 50 audible books in my library and this is by far my favourite. I cannot recommend this enough, you will not regret buying or listening to this.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Avoid actual footy & be entertained instead!

I followed the beginning of this on Twitter and I'm happy to report that the book lived up to expectations. Laura is all of us, her Jürgen is a brilliant example of healthy, well-balanced, executive function that we can only hope to have in our lives as partners or gift to ourselves and all with an impressive talent for keeping innuendo fresh.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Comedy, Life Lessons and a moral compass!

I downloaded this as an audio book to listen to in hospital with my sick child (who is well again now). Firstly, it had far too many laugh out loud moments for sitting in HDU, and making me look like I did not care. Secondly, for something so entertaining there are actually a lot of real life lessons included in it, whether on purpose or not, and at a time when we are all anxious and angry, it's a great time to pause for thought. Lastly, I hope to live my life now thinking WWKD (What Would Klopp Do). Thanks Laura Lexx for a little bit of brightness in a shady world!

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!