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I Never Said I Loved You

By: Rhik Samadder
Narrated by: Rhik Samadder
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Summary

'I'm in bed with my mother, in a Bangkok sex hotel. It is my 30th birthday, it is time for me to become a man, and I have grave worries about the kind of man I'm going to become.'

On an unlikely backpacking trip, Rhik and his mother find themselves speaking openly for the first time in years. Afterwards, the depression that has weighed down on Rhik begins to loosen its grip for a moment - so he seizes the opportunity: to own it, to understand it and to find out where it came from.

Through this begins a journey of investigation, healing and recovery. Along the way Rhik learns some shocking truths about his family and realises that, in turn, he will need to confront the secrets he has long buried. But through this, he triumphs over his fears and brings his depression into the light.

I Never Said I Loved You is the story of how Rhik learned to let go and then keep going. With unique humour and honesty, he has created a powerfully rich, funny and poignant exploration of the light and dark in all of us.

©2019 Rhik Samadder (P)2019 Headline Publishing Group Ltd
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What listeners say about I Never Said I Loved You

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Beautiful

An emotionally adept and incredibly funny memoir. I thought it was truly beautiful. Rhik writes and performs the book perfectly so that the book never falls into saccharine wistfulness even though he does express earnestly some very heartfelt messages. It is also very funny in parts and made me laugh out on several occasions. I wholeheartedly recommend it

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars

Heartfelt

Heartfelt, honest, funny and generally beautiful. A lovely discussion of what it is to live alongside depression.

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a beautiful personal story

a poignant and uplifting story of a life with depressio n. very tender, funny and poignant.

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Set aside some time and listen to this

I'm so glad I decided to listen to the audiobook, rather than reading this: it is deeply moving, sometimes very upsetting, and dotted throughout with touches of humour which make it both easier and more painful. The author's voice adds his humanity, his courage, his sadness. This is not a book to listen to whilst driving: it is a book for which to set time aside. It is not a book about depression, but rather an account of the ongoing attention needed by some of us in living life as well as we can, despite what seem like the odds.

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6 people found this helpful

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Stunning

I loved this book. Rhik Samadder's honesty, sensitivity and ability to delve inside his own life story with humour and generousity leaves you feeling both trusted and inspired - thank you Rhik for telling your crazy story.

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Wonderful

Heartbreaking and a tough listen at times, but beautifully written and wonderfully read, I didn't want it to end.

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Well read, very listenable

Samadder is a very endearing memoirist. He is clearly very successful as a leading actor in a NT play and also as a Guardian writer, but has a refreshingly honest account of how accidental and lucky the experience of success is. Always sort of strange to hear someone so successful talk about their oppressive sense of failure (and a bit annoying if you are less successful - should I be feeling more of a failure than this stage actor and broadsheet journalist feels?) Only bits I struggled with was an occasional very detailed and gory account of his self-harm. All depressions are unique but I suspect there is a lot here that others experiencing depression will relate to. Samadder keeps it just light and whimsical enough that it doesn't feel like you are wadeing through his pain, while it still feels very real.

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Unexpected gem

Amazing sad, funny, happy, cynical, open description of depression, loving someone with depression and of love in all its imperfection.


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Brave and moving memoir

Gut wrenching at times, heart warming at others. I laughed and cried (often at the same time) and was deeply moved by it. Beautifully written and beautifully read.

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Wonderful

A beautiful book that is moving, funny and poetic in turns. I highly recommend it.

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