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How to Steal a Highlander
- Narrated by: Greg Patmore
- Length: 8 hrs and 55 mins
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Summary
A modern thief
Katherine Goldman is a professional with world-class skills, but the expertise of the family firm doesn't lie within the scope of legitimate commerce. Goldman & Associates steals priceless treasures and delivers them to the highest bidder - and business is good.
When Katherine lands in Scotland to boost some relics, nothing in the experience of this notorious thief prepared her for a collision with a dark, rakish man wearing plaid...who happens to be trapped inside an ancient mirror.
A man imprisoned in time
Centuries before, Simeon Campbell had no idea the woman he charmed was a witch of unspeakable power. When Simeon refuses her gift of immortality, he quickly learns there is no wrath like a woman scorned.
Cursed to spend eternity within the bonds of her enchantment, Simeon is lost time and nearly bereft of hope. Until he's accidentally released by a lass with questionable motives, in a century he could never have imagined....
One wicked curse
As the pair plunge into a journey where danger trails them at every turn, this man of honor is determined to stop at nothing to save the woman he's sworn to protect. But Katherine stubbornly knows better than to clash with an enemy face to face. If Simeon is determined to defeat ancient evil at its source, he's going to need help. He's going to need a thief.
What listeners say about How to Steal a Highlander
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- Mattie Legros
- 13-03-19
Quite entertaining
This i quite an entertaining and sensual story. The performance is great and I really like the changing of voices by Greg Patmore.
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- Eileen D.
- 08-03-19
A humorous story with a excellent narrator
This story wasn’t at all what I expected because of the characters. It is unique, although there is time travel, with its clash of expressions, women and men’s roles in society and of course the advancement of technology.
Many good qualities to this story. The plot is catchy with vibrant fast-paced dialogue, pertinent to each character’s style of talk. The narrator, Greg Patmore, captures the sensual lure of Laird Simeon who has spent centuries in a glass mirror under the curse of Isobel, a witch, whom he would not bed. I feel the laird’s desperation to break out of living in total isolation. Greg Patmore is talented and a pleasure to listen to.
Katherine, on a job, finds a mirror while thieving for her father and discovers it is no ordinary mirror. She hears a man’s suave voice coming from the mirror asking to be released. He is brawn and beyond handsome in Katherine’s opinion. Katharine is a talented, skilled thief—she gets in and gets out—no changing what she should do. This time, being intrigued since no one hears the man in the mirror except her, she doesn’t follow the Gorman Rules of thievery, grabs the mirror with the promise to try to free the man, which propels the story forward.
Katherine contacts her Colin, her brother. Things are not going as they should. She feels watched. But who would it be? She left no tail.
Katharine’s voice, narrated by Greg Patmore, feels awkward. She doesn’t sound likable—she’s a bit whiny. How can the laird be attracted which he is? Is he so sex-starved that he can’t resist the first woman he sees for centuries? I think the character would be better served if early dialog (internal dialogue) would from time to time show her soft underbelly, and soften her voice – making her real off-the-job voice more feminine.
Katherine didn’t want to get caught in the laird’s charm with his rumbling masculine and beguiling brogue. She is the best thief in the world and knew feelings could get her killed. Perhaps, backstory on why Katharine had to maintain her status would create more internal conflict, fleshing out her character fully.
Sophia captures Katherine’s brother in love too quickly with Sophia, the laird’s sister. I say this because he was just dumped by his wife and on the run from the police. Again, I suggest to the writer, she has a nice sequel for those two, giving a chance for us to discover what Sophia really is like and the merits of Colin.
Lastly, a thread not resolved. How did the laird know what words would release him and the reader doesn’t? There is one little sentence which points to it. We were privy to the exchange between Isobel and Simeon at the time he was cursed. Why did the writer not include a portion or hint of that? We as the reader would benefit, keeping the information from Katherine, of course.
If you are entertained by a spicy Highlander fantasy, time travel, and sexy protagonists, laced with humorous moments, this story should delight you.
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- Kate @MLHearingThings
- 02-11-18
Promised more than it delivered...
*Contains spoilers*
How to Steal a Highlander is a time-travelling romance about an independent American woman who falls for a handsome 17 Century Scottish Highlander.
I really liked the premise, and instantly warmed to Simeon and Ian’s characters. However, I found Kat to be really tough to like, or develop any real interest in. Compared to Simeon her character was really flat and rather dull, despite attempts to make her into a ‘feisty heroine’.
Simeon’s character had warmth, humour, and charm, and Kat’s brother Ian was very likeable and fit nicely into the story. Kat’s character development never really felt believable and was a bit disjointed. Her role in the story is to follow the well-worn trope where the female protagonist starts off remote and determined not to let anyone in, but gradually softens when she meets the right man. (Taming of the Shrew, anyone?) In this story, however, the jump from unattainable to declaring undying love is so abrupt and out of character that rather than feeling like a dramatic epiphany it just feels unrealistic. It was a shame, because I was genuinely interested in Simeon’s character, and could really have invested in this story had it been well written.
My overall opinion was that it reads like Outlander fanfic by an amateur author who has potential but needs a good editor and an honest critique group. The sex scenes, in particular, need a lot of work. At present they just don’t quite hit the mark. There’s a lot of description about how Simeon has the body of an Adonis and is the most magnificent, proficient lover, but very little to back these assertions up. Kat is also supposed to be a confident and assertive woman, but is incredibly passive in the majority of their encounters. I don’t particularly like sex scenes that are too explicit, but if you’re going to let desire and emotion drive them then you really need to invest the time in building the anticipation and exploring the effect that burgeoning need has on both characters.
The narrator, Greg Patmore, did a great job with Simeon’s voice in particular. Kat’s I didn’t like, but through no fault of his. The narrator’s slightly whiny and disinterested tone for Kat suited the character, but didn’t help me to warm to her. His Scottish and Irish accents were deliciously warm and engaging, and I would gladly listen to him narrate in either accent (plus his English, male accent) in future.
As a straight woman, I really wanted to hear more from Simeon’s perspective during their amorous liaisons. It was all just a bit too dismissive and lazy. Don’t just tell me he was the perfect lover, make me believe it. Don't just have him (jarringly anachronistically) say "you're so wet and hot for me", really build up his need and desperation considering he's been devoid of any companionship for centuries.
I might try other books by this author as some of her characters were engaging and I liked the ideas she explored in the book, just not their execution. It often felt rushed and lazily written, which was a shame as it could have been much better. It wasn't *bad* it just wasn't as good as it could have been. I don't know much about the author, Olivia Norem, but I think perhaps that this book could be one of her early works. It bears several of the hallmarks of a good storyteller, but lacks the polish that would make it stand out, or have me raring for the next one. I'd like to see how Norem grows as a writer, and perhaps look into later books if this was indeed an early attempt.
I'd recommend this book if you’re looking for a throwaway fantasy. If you just want to read a soppy, vaguely-erotic romance about an old-fashioned man in a kilt, then have at it. You’ll enjoy the book. But if you want a sultry Historical Romance that you can really connect with, then I think other authors (Tessa Dare to name one) do it better.
*I received this book free of charge in exchange for an honest, unbiased review.
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