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How to Forget

A Daughter's Memoir

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How to Forget

By: Kate Mulgrew
Narrated by: Kate Mulgrew
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About this listen

In this profoundly honest and examined memoir about returning to Iowa to care for her ailing parents, the star of Orange Is the New Black and best-selling author of Born with Teeth takes us on an unexpected journey of loss, betrayal, and the transcendent nature of a daughter’s love for her parents.

They say you can’t go home again. But when her father is diagnosed with aggressive lung cancer and her mother with atypical Alzheimer’s, New York-based actress Kate Mulgrew returns to her hometown in Iowa to spend time with her parents and care for them in the time they have left.

The months Kate spends with her parents in Dubuque - by turns turbulent, tragic, and joyful - lead her to reflect on each of their lives and how they shaped her own. Those ruminations are transformed when, in the wake of their deaths, Kate uncovers long-kept secrets that challenge her understanding of the unconventional Irish Catholic household in which she was raised.

Breathtaking and powerful, laced with the author’s irreverent wit, How to Forget is a considered portrait of a mother and a father, an emotionally powerful memoir that demonstrates how love fuses children and parents, and an honest examination of family, memory, and indelible loss.

©2019 Kate Mulgrew (P)2019 HarperAudio
Biographies & Memoirs Dysfunctional Families Grief & Loss Relationships Witty Heartfelt
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What listeners say about How to Forget

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Heart felt tale of a love for parents

Gripping & moving an beautiful homage to parents Kate Mulgrew is exceptional good writer. Weaves the the families in a beautiful frankness thank yo kate mulgrew

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kept my addicted to the end

having read 'Born with teeth', I half expected this to be just a rehash of the same material but it isn't. Some of the same topics are there but it's cleverly written and with more depth.

This book is a lovely long journey well worth taking, written with love and full of emotion.

Highly reccomend.

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4 people found this helpful

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How we are drawn to the truth.

Keep writing.I love your honest take on growing old and its afflictions.from an irish Cailín

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An absolutely wonderful book.

I love Kate’s writing, and story telling style. There is so much real life courage, love, honesty, heartbreak, humor and a basic enthusiasm for life and family. A wonderful book.

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Family - warts and all - the more beautiful for it

Mulgrew gives a loving testament to the life of her father and mother. Whilst I was drawn to this as a caregiver to my disabled brother (and increasingly elderly mother) and as a “Voyager” fan, it was the witness she bore to her father and mother as they had lived that I found so intriguing, when caring and death can be so ritualised to cope with the unbearable. You cannot fault Mulgrew as a story teller or her performance as a narrater. She empties the pockets, there is nothing left to give, as she surrenders to us what is being experienced, felt and remembered. The hours went by listening.

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A worthy follow up to Born With Teeth

Beautifully written and honest look at one’s parents. Looking honestly at their struggles there triumphs, faults and strengths. And a child’s relationship with their parents over a lifetime and coming to terms with losing the ones they love. Well worth listening too.

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Another great book by Kate Mulgrew

Beautiful Storytelling shared with an authentic tone. Thoroughly enjoyed this book and would recommend it.

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Brilliant.

A brilliant book. I love it. Heartstrings pulled in the right places. Expertly excicuted.

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Just as Emotive and Enthralling as Born With Teeth

When Kate Mulgrew towards the end of the book descrives her husband telling her of her Mother's pride is describing her as an accomplished theatre actor I was in full agreement with her delight in hearing that truth. I loved the autobiography, its dazzling honesty and charm but the trading of this incredible journey through the loss of parents I found compelling and touching and thoroughly relatable. I will be listening to everything Kate records just as I eagerly devour all her acting performances!

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3 people found this helpful

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Poignant and unforgettable

A beautifully read, honest and heartbreaking account of a family that had endured much sadness over the years. I believe Kate Mulgrew is an amazing writer and narrator, and the love for her parents, siblings, her children and Lucy and Javier shine through in a way that if the book had been narrated by anyone else, would have been lost.
This book could have been a depressing experience, but with Kate’s honesty and humour it was an uplifting, interesting and unforgettable read, and I expect to return to it again and again.

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