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F*cking History

111 Lessons You Should Have Learned in School

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F*cking History

By: The Captain
Narrated by: The Captain
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About this listen

History that doesn't suck: Smart, crude, and hilariously relevant to modern life.

Those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it. Too bad it's usually boring as sh*t. Enter The Captain, the ultimate storyteller who brings history to life (and to your life) in this hilarious, intelligent, brutally honest, and crude compendium to events that happened before any of us were born.

The entries in this compulsively listenable book bridge past and present with topics like getting ghosted, handling haters, and why dog owners rule (sorry, cat people). Along the way you'll get a glimpse of Edith Wharton's sex life, dating rituals in Ancient Greece, catfishing in 500 BC, medieval flirting techniques, and squad goals from Catherine the Great.

You'll learn why losing yourself in a relationship will make you crazy - like Joanna of Castile, who went from accomplished badass to Joanna the Mad after obsessing over a guy known as Philip the Handsome. You'll discover how Resting Bitch Face has been embraced throughout history (so wear it proudly). And you'll see why it's never a good idea to f*ck with powerful women - from pirate queens to diehard suffragettes to Cleo-f*cking-patra.

People in the past were just like us - so learn from life's losers and emulate the badasses. The Captain shows you how.

©2020 The Captain (P)2020 Penguin Audio
Love, Dating & Attraction Performing Arts Comedy Funny Witty
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Don’t bother

Not what I was expecting. Averagely interesting facts coupled with copious swearing. Felt like a bunch of one liners. Gutted I wasted my money on this.

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    2 out of 5 stars
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Swearing didn’t add anything?

Historical facts were actually quite interesting so this would probably be better to read, rather than listen. I stopped listening because the swearing was just unnecessary and a bit annoying after a while.

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What could have been good, made bad.

The return book is a great feature of Audible. I imagine the best story was saved for the sample.

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GEN Z HISTORY

Obviously missed the demographic on this...
Relate your most recent Snapchat to Joan of Arc triumphing over misogyny...

Pandering Pish!

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utter mince

shockingly bad, serious waste of everyone involved's time, stories are mediocre, preachy life lesson messages are like listening to 'the little book of happiness' and narrative fails to engage
designed to challenge the IQ of people who like donald trump

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    5 out of 5 stars
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The Captain never disappoints!

What a refreshing mind set. Now I'm a fan of The Captain's social media posts so call me biased but when i found out about the audible book had to download. So glad I did. no Bulls**t no nonsense historically modern advice. on that note I've just bought Mary Shelleys Frankenstein to compare my dating history. brilliant man. loved it. Captain for President. 👏🏼👏🏼

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