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Because I’m Not Myself, You See
- A Memoir of Motherhood, Madness and Coming Back from the Brink
- Narrated by: Ariane Beeston
- Length: 9 hrs and 34 mins
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Because I’m Not Myself, You See
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Summary
2024, Nib Literary Award, Long-listed
Ariane Beeston is a child protection worker and newly registered psychologist when she gives birth to her first child – and very quickly begins to experience scary breaks with reality. Out of fear and shame, she keeps her delusions and hallucinations secret, but as the months pass Ariane gets worse. Much worse. Finally admitted to a mother and baby psychiatric unit, the psychologist is forced to learn how to be the patient.
With medication, the support of her husband, psychotherapy and, ultimately, time, Ariane rebuilds herself. And she also begins a new chapter working in perinatal mental health, developing resources to support other new mothers.
Because I'm Not Myself, You See is a candid, often humorous memoir of motherhood and madness, interwoven with research and expert commentary. It's the story of the impossible pressures placed on new mothers and how quickly things can go wrong during 'the happiest time of your life'. It's also about life on the other side of serious illness, trying to make sense of what doesn't make sense, and finding humour, beauty and joy when things don't go according to plan.
Critic reviews
‘Ariane Beeston's honesty, poetry and wisdom will save lives ... a vital contribution to a reality of some motherhoods that is so often overlooked in favour of stigma, shame and misunderstanding.' (Anna Spargo-Ryan, author of A Kind of Magic)
‘A memoir like no other.' (Geordie Williamson, The Australian)
'Generous and vulnerable... Beeston has cast a spotlight on an unspoken ‘women’s issue’ in a book that could be lifesaving when it falls into the right hands.' (Books+Publishing)