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A Well-Trained Wife

My Escape from Christian Patriarchy

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A Well-Trained Wife

By: Tia Levings
Narrated by: Tia Levings
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About this listen

This gripping audiobook is a strong choice alongside books about high-demand religion, overcoming odds, and finding inner strength in impossible situations."—Booklist (Starred Review)

This program is read by the author.

“Today it hit me when he hit me, blood shaking in my brain. Maybe there wasn’t a savior coming. Maybe it was up to me to save me.”

Recruited into the fundamentalist Quiverfull movement as a young wife, Tia Levings learned that being a good Christian meant following a list of additional life principles—a series of secret, special rules to obey. Being a godly and submissive wife in Christian Patriarchy included strict discipline, isolation, and an alternative lifestyle that appeared wholesome to outsiders. Women were to be silent, “keepers of the home.”

Tia knew that to their neighbors her family was strange, but she also couldn't risk exposing their secret lifestyle to police, doctors, teachers, or anyone outside of their church. Christians were called in scripture to be “in the world, not of it.” So, she hid in plain sight as years of abuse and pain followed. When Tia realized she was the only one who could protect her children from becoming the next generation of patriarchal men and submissive women, she began to resist and question how they lived. But in the patriarchy, a woman with opinions is in danger, and eventually, Tia faced an urgent and extreme choice: stay and face dire consequences, or flee with her children.

Told in a beautiful, honest, and sometimes harrowing voice, A Well-Trained Wife is an unforgettable and timely memoir about a woman's race to save herself and her family and details the ways that extreme views can manifest in a marriage.

A Macmillan Audio production from St. Martin’s Press.

©2024 Tia Levings (P)2024 Macmillan Audio
Editors Select Religious Studies Women Marriage
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Editorial Review

As personal as it gets
I devoured this deeply intimate, harrowing memoir over the course of three days, resenting any interruption that forced me to hit pause. With unfiltered detail and raw emotion, Tia Levings tells her story of growing up in a fundamentalist religion, how her upbringing ushered her into a high-control, patriarchal marriage, and her journey toward reclaiming her identity and voice. Throughout, Levings writes of her passion for art and writing (an inclination that women in her position must stifle) and how finding an outlet in the earliest days of parenting blogging and online forums both scratched that itch and broadened her world. That nurturing of her talent shows in the strength of her voice, both in her written words and in her wholehearted performance. It is not only gripping, but deeply introspective and observant – a daring call-to-action.— Sam D., Audible Editor

Critic reviews

“In this brave memoir on domestic violence within Christian patriarchy, Tia Levings vulnerably shares her story of survival. With devastating detail, she reveals the many shades of abuse that happen within the world of evangelicalism, a world that was supposed to protect her. The many women who have walked this path from oppression to freedom will find solidarity in these pages.”—Cait West, author of Rift

"I've never given a book a standing ovation until this one. A Well-Trained Wife is a prayer, for all of us. The world is lucky Tia Levings found her freedom and her voice. A reckoning for those who sanction abuse in the name of salvation."—Ashleigh Renard, author of Swing

"With unflinching honesty and relentless self-reflection, Levings’ debut memoir is a portrait in courage."—Julie Bogart, author of The Brave Learner and Raising Critical Thinkers

What listeners say about A Well-Trained Wife

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A valuable and moving insight to a secretive and manipulative world of high control.

I was raised in high control religion but my story is different. Sometimes I resonated and felt seen. Sometimes I felt grateful for having escaped with less trauma. Tia tells her whole story including recovery without telling anyone else how to chart their own journey.

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Tia said her audio book is strong, & she's so right

Having just heard this memoir from Tia, I'm speechless. A story with lots of new beginnings, not all good, but an incredible resilient woman, who is finishing her story on her terms.

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Tia Levings, a hero

This is an amazing book, and Tia is a gifted writer. I can't imagine how difficult it must have been to revisit all the difficult, scary and emotional moments of her life to write this, but I'm glad she did.

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Outstanding

this is very well written and absolutely captivating book. Tia's calming voice is like a balm that allows for peaceful and easy to reflect on listen. I am very thankful to Tia for sharing her story, it's life altering and full of hope.

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The universe catches you

So much of this memoir made me feel seen even though my story is nowhere near as extreme as Tia’s. I’m not surprised she’s a fan of Elizabeth Gilbert’s writing either, I can see the influence in this memoir. I admire Tia’s resilience and strength in sharing her story so much - especially where she talks about her own role as being her family’s PR manager. I still feel the pressure to do that myself. It’s also an interesting coincidence that the abusers in our stories have the same name.

I have also felt the universe catch me, it I’m still learning how to trust that.

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Wonderfully told

I’d heard of Tia through a podcast that mainly talks about cults and decided to buy this book. As a Christian woman who grew up with high control religion, her story is very similar to mine. It gives me hope that I can perhaps one day be like her and escape my abusive marriage. Thank you Tia, for the courage to share your story in a raw and unfiltered manner.

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Finding freedom,true purpose and healing

An honest account of childhood and early adulthood conforming to a patriarchal system that stifled women and their dreams and aspirations,to serve men’s dictate.
A journey to healing and able to be the person she wanted to be to herself and her children.
A long but a’l can’t put this down book’ read.
Thankyou so much for sharing your story,some of which l understand

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An Outstanding Account of Religious Coercion

The book was slightly long in places and I would lose track of what Tia was trying to share. Nevertheless, it was a remarkable account of her experience and I could identify with a lot if what she went through. It is a frightful reality of what religious cults can do to an individual's psyche and no one will ever be held accountable for that damage. I wish Tia and her children the best of lives.

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A thought provoking book

I really enjoyed this book it was hard to listen to at times but it would have been harder to have lived that life.
Well done Tia for finding your own life.

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Heartbreaking and beautifully written

Thank you so much for sharing your story Tia. It resonates deeply, I'm so glad that spiritual abuse survivors are slowly being more heard. The grounding of the narrative to how Christian fundamentalism/nationalism is seeking (and seemingly succeeding) to overtake mainstream US politics was particularly interesting and insightful.

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