You’re Not Listening
What You’re Missing and Why It Matters
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You’re Not Listening
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Narrated by:
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Kate Murphy
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By:
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Kate Murphy
About this listen
Brought to you by Penguin.
When was the last time you listened to someone, or someone really listened to you?
This life-changing book will transform your conversations forever
As a society, we’ve forgotten how to listen. Modern life is noisy and frenetic, and technology provides constant distraction. So we tune things out or listen selectively – even to those we love most. We’ve become scared of other people’s points of view, and of silence.
Now more than ever, we need to listen to those around us. New York Times contributor Kate Murphy draws on countless conversations she has had with everyone from priests to CIA interrogators, focus group moderators to bartenders, her great-great aunt to her friend's toddler, to show how only by listening well can we truly connect with others.
Listening is about curiosity and patience – about asking the right questions in the right way. Improvisational comedians and con men are much better at it than most of us. And the cleverest people can be the worst at it. Listening has the potential to transform our relationships and our working lives, improve our self-knowledge, and increase our creativity and happiness. While it may take some effort, it's a skill that can be learnt and perfected.
When all we crave is to understand and be understood, You're Not Listening shows us how.
©2020 Kate Murphy (P)2020 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
Critic reviews
What listeners say about You’re Not Listening
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Dan
- 18-04-23
Very interesting
A thoroughly informative, interesting and well researched book. The book has made me reflect on my own skills (or lack of)!
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Londongayle
- 02-05-20
Learning to listen
The beginning and end of this book were interesting and I think I’ve learnt something from it. Overall I found it very hard to listen to this book, not a good start for learning to listen! It has taken me several weeks and I had to push myself to get to the end. Saying that, I feel that I am improving my listening skills, and have learnt to ask and listen to replies.
I feel a bit unfair only giving it three if I have learnt something, but that’s an honest review.
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6 people found this helpful
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Nick Thompson
- 08-02-23
Drowning in detail
I'm struggling with this. I'm very open minded to the subject matter, and I think it's safe to assume anyone who's taking the time to listen or read the book would be. But hours in, I'm stil hearing how it's important to listen. I was hoping for a bit more insight on how we can tune in better and cut out distractions from our mind to listen more attentively.
The thing that's really getting frustrating though is it feels like the author wants to prove she's done her research, increase the word count, or both. She's constantly citing her sources, and in such agonising detail. For instance, she mentions John McCain and his bipartisanship, but doesn't just leave it there - she mentions when and how he died. Why? Every study mentioned has a year mentioned with it, and some other irrelevant detail. Why? It just makes listening harder and more arduous. Maybe that's the point and I just haven't got to the big reveal yet as to how the whole thing's a test!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Mark B.
- 12-10-21
LISTEN UP, it helps
Got this book without much thought. One of the best books I’ve ever listened too. Really good information, strategies and advice. Helps with personal and professional situations. Would highly recommend!
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Mona R
- 07-10-22
A constant reminder that listening isn't easy.
This book was a fantastic book because it was a constant reminder that I don't listen. The narrator sometimes made it difficult to pay attention to the actual plot as every chapter makes you reflect on how well you really listen. Sometimes the scientific research was difficult to digest but overall a great book. I'd recommend to listen to it in small chunks, unless your listening ability is much greater than mine!
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Mary Mercy
- 06-06-20
Enjoyable listen that inspires reader to do more
Whilst there’s many books on speaking, there are far fewer on listening. This author makes a passionate plea for us to do more listening and to listen better arguing it will make for improved relationships and well being. Murphy uses science and observation throughout the book whilst discussing listening observations she has drawn from a wide range of professional listeners. Lively and entertaining and ultimately a good listen
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Janice
- 11-06-23
Brilliant
A great collation of many works, focussing on a modern, practical and easy to implement set of strategies to improve listening skills.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- L
- 04-08-21
Super valuable self-reflection, and reflection on others
I don’t know one person in my life who would not benefit from the stories, insight and research shared in this book. I have learned so much and I’m grateful to the good friend that recommended it to me.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Sandra R
- 11-11-22
Great book
Great book, a valuable reminder on the importance of listening .
Although, a more in depth of how to listen to others would have been a great addition to the book .
This is essentially a book on the benefit and value of listening rather then the know how.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- D Psychology
- 09-05-20
worth listening
this was just excellent. I will read it again and share it with friends and family.
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