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The Secret Diary of a British Muslim Aged 13 3/4
- Narrated by: Tez Ilyas
- Length: 9 hrs and 5 mins
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The Secret Diary of a British Muslim Aged 13 3/4
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Summary
The hilarious and pubescent debut book from your favourite British Muslim comedian (that's Tez Ilyas, by the way). You may know and love Tez from his stand-up comedy, his role as Eight in Man Like Mobeen, his Radio 4 series TEZ Talks, or panel shows such as Mock the Week and The Last Leg. Where you won't know him from is 1997, when he was 13¾. (But now you will—because that's what the book is about.)
In this suitably dramatic rollercoaster of a teenage memoir, Tez takes us back to where it all began: a working class, insular British Asian Muslim community in his hometown of post-Thatcher Blackburn. Meet Ammi (Mum), Baji Rosey (the older sister), Shibz (the fashionable cousin), Was (the cool cousin), Shiry (the cleverest cousin) and a community with the most creative nicknames this side of Top Gun.
Running away from shotgun-wielding farmers, successfully dodging arranged marriages, getting mugged, having front-row seats to race riots and achieving formative sexual experiences doing stomach crunches in a gym, you could say life was fairly run of the mill. But with a GCSE pass rate of 30 percent at his school, his own fair share of family tragedy around the corner and 9/11 on the horizon, Tez's experiences of growing up as a British Muslim wasn't the fun, Jihad-pursuing affair the media wants you to believe. Well...not always.
At times shalwar-wettingly hilarious and at others searingly sad, The Secret Diary of a British Muslim Aged 13¾ shows '90s Britain at its best and its worst.
Critic reviews
"Essential.... A complex blend of overexcited Adrian Mole-like anecdotes mixed with shocking moments of racism and insights into Muslim religious practices." (Sunday Times)
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What listeners say about The Secret Diary of a British Muslim Aged 13 3/4
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- dureshewar akhtar
- 01-03-22
Taken back in time
This was a time machine book, resonated with my own childhood. Funny and felt like tez was just talking to you and telling you what he used to get up too. Haha
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Adam Mc Taz
- 19-05-21
fantastic read!! such a inspiration to everyone
extremely funny, lovable and entertaining. I could not put the book down. I've read it twice and listened to it on audible. great stuff for Tez as always. keep up the great work 📖⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Amir
- 10-05-24
Proper funny 😁
It's a genuinely funny, heartfelt and honest representation of life as a Muslim in a Northwest town. I may be a Dingle but this made me laugh out loud. Funny guy, funny storyteller. Loved this audiobook
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Danielle Brown
- 03-02-22
something different
something really different, light, interesting and modern read with insight of life in another culture
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Amazon Customer
- 13-06-21
An Enjoyable Listen
I was a bit skeptical listening to this book as the title reminded me of another secret diary popular to those growing up in the 80’s. I was pleasantly surprised and enjoyed listening to this audio book.
I related to a lot of Tez’s experiences as someone growing up in the same era (albeit a few years older). Some parts of his story had me laughing out loud and other parts left me feeling sad. Listening to this audio book was a bit of an emotional rollercoaster and left me wanting to know what happens next and listen to the next instalment.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- WonderWoman
- 23-05-21
Superb
Entertaining, interesting, educational, humour full. Seeing teenage years from another point of view is enlightening in parts yet so familiar in others.
Tez reading this absolutely brought it to life.
Superb.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Cath Ford
- 18-05-21
A really enjoyable, engaging listen
Lovely to hear stories about where I live told from the perspective of a young Muslim boy.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Taz
- 17-04-21
Heartfelt, funny, relatable and eye opening! Loved this!
I knew I’d enjoy the book as I enjoy the author’s stand-up. But my expectations were truly surpassed.
There was so much in this book that was relatable as someone who grew up in Britain in the 80s / 90s, as someone who is of Pakistani decent, as someone who practices the Muslim faith. But the book totally stands up on its own not because of the, for me relatable, British Pakistani narrative, but also because of how much of it I couldn’t relate to. They fly-on-the-wall insight into the life of a teenage boy, the hilarious friendships, the adventures, the highs and lows that make you root for this kid.
It was genuinely a gift to hear his childhood story and I hope there’s more to come.
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4 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Ann Fenwick
- 25-05-21
A must read
Loved it. Laughed and cried all at the same time. Educational too. Its got a bit of everything.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- KT
- 10-06-21
I can’t think of anything funny to say! I’m crap at book reviews !
But then I’m not Tez!! As a fellow Blackburner and an ex Witton Parker, this book is amazing! Even if you’re not from here, you’ll find it hilarious! The honesty, genuine sad moments, happy moments and the ability to keep me gripped is indescribable.
If you’re looking for laughter, this is for you! If you need a present for someone, this is for you! If the day ends in a “y” when you’re reading this, then this is for you!!
Buy it. You won’t regret it! Ps) P is better than W, always :-)
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