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  • Liches Get Stitches

  • Liches Get Stitches, Book 1
  • By: HJ Tolson
  • Narrated by: Ella Lynch
  • Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars (35 ratings)
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Liches Get Stitches

By: HJ Tolson
Narrated by: Ella Lynch
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Summary

Evil stirs in the forest of Downing, spreading blight across the ancient boughs.

Busy with troubles of her own, Maud the village witch just wants to be left alone. Peace and quiet should be easy enough when you're dead, right?

Wrong. Reborn as a powerful lich, Maud is suddenly faced with the attentions of all the righteous heroes, holy clerics, and nosy neighbors of the realm. Now, instead of whiling away the days in her garden with her cat and her knitting, Maud must figure out how much force is required to crush a man's spine, the proper storage solution to keep a spoiling cadaver, and how best to display the remains of the fallen for maximum scare.

Liches Get Stitches is a very grisly slice-of-life progression fantasy featuring people mulch, head bouquets, revenant geese, and some very deadly embroidery. Undead paradise never looked so good. 

©2021 HJ Tolson (P)2022 Podium Audio

What listeners say about Liches Get Stitches

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

The narrator makes this funny, grizzly book a whole new joy

I read this book when it first came out and really enjoyed the style and voicy protagonist. After listening to the sample, I was keen to get the audiobook as well. No regrets. :D Really love how the narrator gave Maud such a marvelous voice, it fits the story well - and many of the other chars too, THE ACCENTS! It makes the whole book - which already is such a vibe with its humor, silly and horrid characters, and crafting with um innards and limbs - a super fun new experience. Perfect road trip book, don’t need too much focus to listen to it, really entertaining.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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The Life of a Lich is Funny as Hell!

Liches Get Stitches is the perfect side-quest from a fantasy fan's staple of epic fantasy, swords & sorcery, coming of age, or litrpg. The story begins with the tale of how a medieval commoner in a small town is unexpectedly transformed into a lich - there are no fantasy tropes in this. The narration by Ella Lynch is superb, capturing the snark, sarcasm, and matter-of-fact attitude this new lich takes towards the world around her. Death, dismemberment, bodies being torn and stitched together, and people dying from all sorts of blunt trauma, blades, dark magic, and brute force permeate nearly every page. There are undead, dark magic, light magic, clerics and paladins. And it's glorious! I haven't laughed this much during an audiobook in a long time. Definitely going to continue with book 2.

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Very good narrator, will download the second book

Loved the voice actress, lovely performance. It was a pleasure to listen. Plus, the story is really good as well, reminds me of an RPG game.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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brilliant

Great story about a hedge witch learning the ins and outs after becoming a lich that is excellently narrated.

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Fantastic

Really enjoyed this book lots of dark humour, looking forward to listening to the next one

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Easy going, undead, endearing psychopathy

It's shlock horror in book form, but with oddly endearing qualities...

The narrator really helps to sell the dual nature of the main character.

If you like easy-going 'dark' with an anti-hero main character this is well worth a listen.

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