Forgiveness not your thing? Longing for the return of winter? Always pay your debts? Whatever you stand for, however you behave, there’s sure to be a place for you in Westeros.
But in a world where it pays to know the right people, and conflict is never far away, how do you decide where your loyalties lie? How do you know where you belong? (Hint: Scroll down and all will be revealled.)
In the real-world scenarios below, you’ll gain a unique insight into what it takes to call yourself a Stark, a Lannister, a Tyrell, a Targaryen, a Greyj… you get the idea. But which house can you relate to the most? And more importantly, who will you be backing for the Iron Throne?
So, are you…
Resentful, fiery and determined?
Picture this: You’re sorting through some drawers and come across some old photos of you and an ex-partner. A reminder of happier times. What do you do with them?
A: Chuck them on the fire. You’re not sentimental. Especially with those who are no longer your friend.
B: Keep them. Memories are precious to you, the good and the bad.
Leaning towards Option A? Your ruthless nature will stand you in good stead within House Targaryen of Dragonstone.
Other traits: People say you’re unreasonable, but you’d describe it as ‘unforgiving’. You have however got a soft spot for large mythical creatures – dragons to be specific.
Reliable, alluring and calculating?
Picture this: It’s the weekend and you have come to the end of a big night out. You’re starving, but the kebab house doesn’t take card and you have no cash on you. What do you do?
A: Borrow £5.50 from your mate for a large doner (or vegetarian/vegan equivalent) and hope they’re too drunk to remember giving you the money.
B: Borrow the money, treating yourself to something a little more upmarket – a chicken shish, perhaps? Because, let’s face it, a doner kebab is nowhere near good enough for someone like yourself. You assure them that you’ll pay them back ASAP. Because you always pay your debts.
Pick Option B? Sounds like you’d fit in nicely with House Lannister of Casterly Rock.
Other traits: You’re a keeper of many secrets, roar like a lion and have a very close relationship with siblings.
Proud, loyal and prepared for the elements?
Picture this: 2018 saw the Beast from the East batter the UK with snow and ice. The weather forecast has just announced that another winter storm is on its way. Winter is coming. What’s your plan?
A: Time to flee to somewhere warmer. You’ll return when winter is over.
B: You’re not going anywhere. You’re ready for whatever winter throws at you. Plus, this is your home. People need you and you need them. Bring it on.
Option B more your thing? Then House Stark of Winterfell is the house for you.
Other traits: You’re proud of your Northern heritage, hate weddings and love nothing more than sleeping with a big pet by your side.
A hard-working nature lover who’s not to be underestimated?
Picture this: You’ve suddenly come into some money and are on the lookout for your first home. You find a couple of two-story houses for the exact same price – one in the city, one in the countryside. Where do you move?
A: You can’t resist a bit of hustle and bustle. You move into the city centre with a mass of pubs, shops and restaurants on your doorstep.
B: Without open green spaces, you can’t relax. You move to the countryside to live your life away from the stress and the strains of the city.
If Option B sounds more appealing, you’d most likely find yourself at home in House Tyrell of Highgarden.
Other traits: You’re cunning and well-mannered (if needs be). Your grandmother is also someone you wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of.
Tough and seaworthy?
Picture this: An island has recently been discovered in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. You’re determined to go and explore. You’re told that there are only two ways to get there – a 4-hour flight on a light aircraft or an 8-hour boat voyage. What do you choose?
A: You’ve been fascinated by the ocean all your life. You climb aboard and set sail.
B: You don’t want to be spending hours on a boat. You haven’t got the sea legs. You want to get there ASAP, so you choose the flight.
Couldn’t resist the boat? Consider yourself in House Greyjoy of Pyke.
Other traits: You don’t need luxury to feel at home. Your favourite colour is grey and you’re quite happy in the most desolate of areas.
Independent and passionate?
Picture this: You have the choice between two holidays this year – one skiing in the Alps with friends, the other on the beaches of Algarve, enjoying a bit of ‘me’ time. You can only afford to do one. Which do you choose?
A: You crave the company of others. You’re also not a fan of the heat. It’s an easy option, you’re hitting the slopes.
B: Life is hectic enough. You just want to get away from it all and relax in the sun alone. It’s Algarve all the way.
Option B sounding more up your street? You’d fit right in with House Martell of Sunspear.
Other traits: You look for an easy life, so choose to distance yourself from the problems of others.
Rebellious, outgoing and domineering?
Picture this: It’s Saturday night and you and your friends have no plans. What do you do?
A: Ring around, stock up on booze and throw one of your legendary impromptu parties. It’s Saturday night, after all.
B: You’ve had a long week. Time to take it easy and kick back with a film.
Known for being a party animal? If Option A’s more your style, House Baratheon of Storm’s End is the one for you.
Other traits: You love the idea of being in charge, but when it comes to it, you’re not very good. There are however many good warriors in your family.
One of a kind?
Not feeling any of these houses? Don’t panic, there’s still a couple of options to consider. Those without a fear of heights should consider House Arryn of the Eyrie, while those with many children may feel at home in House Frey of the Crossing (especially if the children are, let’s say, not the prettiest pears in the pickings).
Alternatively, if the whole house system isn’t your thing, you can always join the Brotherhood Without Banners – an outlaw group working against Lannister interests in the Riverlands. There’s also the Faceless Men – a religious society of assassins who worship the Many-Faced God, a god of death (fans of the audiobooks will remember a certain Arya Stark finding her way into this society).
In the end, whether you’re a Stark, a Lannister, or an assassin with the magical ability to change your appearance, it probably doesn’t matter too much. Because when the White Walkers come, let’s face it, there won’t be time for squabbling over who sits on the Iron Throne.
Discover the whole Game of Thrones audiobook collection here.
