Some may know Fearne Cotton as a TV presenter, radio broadcaster or panel show guest. Others may be more familiar with her work as a charity campaigner or a podcast presenter. But it’s as the bestselling author of various non-fiction titles where she’s making a mark on the world today.
Previous releases have covered cookery, yoga, and motherhood, while her latest book (and self-narrated audiobook) Speak Your Truth falls firmly into the self-help category.
But what has led her to this topic in particular, and what does she really mean when she suggests one of the paths to a good life is to speak your truth?
As part of our Audible Sessions series, we spoke with Fearne to find out about the background of the book and how it’s helped her to establish her own truths.
Who is Fearne Cotton, really?
The most obvious way to describe anyone is through the roles they’ve held and achievements they’ve had. However, this is a book about stripping all of that away, connecting with your inner truth, and finding a voice that sits beyond the surface.
Yes, she’s a mother, a wife and a successful professional, but she’s also sometimes lazy, anxious, and argumentative. And that’s absolutely fine. There’s nothing wrong with the “murky stuff that we’ve all got” as Fearne describes it.
Fearne’s personal experiences of swallowing her own feelings in order to protect others were a huge driver for writing about this topic. She set out to empower people to say what they feel and “who we really believe we are underneath all the stories we tell ourselves and the labels we give ourselves.”
The importance of being honest
While the messages in Speak Your Truth are applicable to anyone, there’s a particularly poignant theme that will resonate with women who are feeling like the world is on their shoulders. As the first generation who have a real opportunity to live life to the full, being both mothers and breadwinners, that can be a bit overwhelming at times.
“There’s a lot of pressure to be the best and to look amazing and to have a voice,” says Fearne. “It’s exhausting and we need to give ourselves a break.”
This is exacerbated by the influence of social media. As much as we all try to ignore it, it’s hard not to be jealous of the idealistic life that people share through their posts. While she’s admittedly guilty of picking and choosing what to put across about her particular public persona, she's honest enough to say that it's not positive for personal development.
The various lockdown situations we’ve found ourselves in due to the coronavirus pandemic have given many people a period of unexpected contemplation. Maybe now is the time to start turning off the happy filter for what you put out to the world.
Being honest that you’re having a tough time at work, or that you can’t be bothered to cook a proper meal, or that you’ve let the cleaning slip a bit is not only good for you, but it’s also good for your loved ones, who will be able to relate to the day-to-day struggles that we all face.
Fearne says we need to “Stop suppressing the gross bits to try and present perfectionism - stop pushing it away.”
“If we stop allowing ourselves from seeing and feeling that side of life, we’re not a full human - we’re living a weird fantasy human experience.”
Fearne Cotton on “happiness”
Am I happy? This is a question we need to ask ourselves every day and be comfortable with the answer.
Speak Your Truth explains some of the things we can do to help try to discover what your 'happy place' is. Meditation, yoga, and walking come into the equation, as well as looking back to your childhood to discover what it meant to have fun in your formative years.
“Kids go with their emotions before they get socially conditioned. Adults forget about that. You park that joy and the hobbies that allow you to feel in the moment.”
Fearne is adamant that the answer “doesn’t always form in a clear ‘This is my truth’ sentence.” but that it’s part of a process to find the root of what makes you you. “No human is going to stay set in what they believe forever. Who knows what will happen next.”
One of her ongoing struggles is finding the right balance between growth and comfort. Do you take that opportunity to push yourself and put yourself in a challenging situation, or do you stay in your comfort zone? Does the latter option put you in danger of retreating? “No goal reached and no ambition is worth all the stress and panic attacks that may come with it,” says Fearne. “Look at your own personal limits, and only you will know that.”
Narrating the audiobook version of Speak Your Truth herself was one of those experiences described by Fearne as a healthy challenge. “Like reading your diary aloud - it’s terrifying! It’s more potent saying things out loud. It’s all about venting stuff, and not letting it build.”
