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  • It's OK That You're Not OK

  • Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand
  • By: Megan Devine
  • Narrated by: Megan Devine
  • Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
  • 4.7 out of 5 stars (208 ratings)

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It's OK That You're Not OK cover art

It's OK That You're Not OK

By: Megan Devine
Narrated by: Megan Devine
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Summary

A New Resource for Those Experiencing Loss

With It's OK That You're Not OK, Megan Devine offers a profound new approach to both the experience of grief and the way we help others who have endured tragedy. Having experienced grief from both sides - as both a therapist and as a woman who witnessed the accidental drowning of her beloved partner - Megan writes with deep insight about the unspoken truths of loss, love, and healing. She debunks the culturally prescribed goal of returning to a normal, "happy" life, replacing it with a far healthier middle path, one that invites us to build a life alongside grief rather than seeking to overcome it.

On this unabridged audio recording read by the author, Megan offers stories, research, life tips, and creative and mindfulness-based practices to guide us through an experience we all must face. With Megan's gentle but direct guidance, you'll learn:

  • Why well-meaning advice, therapy, and spiritual wisdom so often end up making it harder for people in grief
  • How challenging the myths of grief - doing away with stages, timetables, and unrealistic ideals about how grief should unfold - allows us to accept it as a mystery to be honored instead of a problem to solve
  • Practical guidance for managing stress, improving sleep, and decreasing anxiety without trying to "fix" your pain

Many people who have suffered a loss feel judged, dismissed, and misunderstood by a culture that wants to "solve" grief. Megan writes, "Grief no more needs a solution than love needs a solution." It's OK That You're Not OK is a book for grieving people, those who love them, and all those seeking to love themselves - and each other - better.

©2017 Megan Devine (P)2017 Sounds True

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What listeners say about It's OK That You're Not OK

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  • Overall
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Priceless to me

I read other reviews and agree this speaks most to those who have suffered a sudden death and also in the early stages of grief. I am there right now. I lost my own partner as did the writer just 4 weeks ago today.

I searched everywhere and this is so far the only book that doesn't give positive, its will be ok stuff as right now she's is quite right, I don't want to hear it.

the no nonsense truth of how much this pain hurts felt very personal and let me know im no going crazy.

I can't thank the author enough for turning her pain into the perfect words for me right now. I've had a lost of loss but loss of a partner or spouse is very different and this has really helped me.

it really is OK to not be ok and I am just fine with that until I can survive more than hour by hour amd will listen over again.

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what I needed so much

loved this book so much ,so I sent hard copies to others I know greiving, who are simply expected to get over their loss in some public health measured time period . No other book on grief came close in giving me such comfort and I have read so many searching for the reason I haven't gone back to normal

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3 people found this helpful

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Amazing

This book is so helpful for us as a family have grief.

Thank you so much.

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    4 out of 5 stars

Great, depending on who is reading

I’m in two minds about this book, so bear with me.
My parent died a few years ago, so I have first hand experience of early stages if grief. I also am a trained bereavement supporter for a nationwide charity.

I feel like this book might be useful for a newly bereaved. They will find thar they are not alone in that experience, the author normalises feelings surrounding the grief through sharing her story. I probably would have liked to reas it when my parent died. However, she mostly focuses on ‘out of order’ death (I understand that as death that wasn’t meant to happen naturally), such like death of a child, death of partner or sibling while still young. There is no mention at all of death of an older parent, for example. It perhaps is ‘in order’ (?), but it still can be incredibly painful to live through. Would I have felt like I should not be grieving so deeply because my bereavement was ‘in order’? I don’t know, but it’s something to gear in mind.

If you are going to read this book as somebody who wants support a loved one through the grief, it might be useful, but I also feel like it also might put you off helping. There is lots of advice on what to do, but even more on what not to do, and it creates this picture that you need to thread on eggshells whilst blindfolded around the bereaved. I felt like there was a fair bit of contradicting advice and author come across somewhat bitter in places.
The underlying message is that you just need to bear witness to their pain and don’t try to fix it.

As a bereavement supporter I feel like have learned more from other books.

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11 people found this helpful

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A comforting listen.

Having very recently lost my husband suddenly, I found this audio book a very soothing listen. With its practical tips on how to deal with your mind and body disturbances, it is reassuring to know that my experiences with grieving are as individual as I am, yet the intense feelings and emotions are "normal" (for want of a better word)

I would fully recommend listening rather than reading as it hits the spot. And the soothing voice certainly calms me down and sends me into a calm sleep.

I will recommend this to anyone who is grieving, even months or years down the line. It is helping me to realise that grieving is not something to get through, but something to live with in an evolving way.

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Survival Guide

A how to navigate, and what may work as a compass and useful backpack.
Healing hopes for all who need the use of this book.

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True and Direct

I chose this book in the hope that someone would understand not just my grief but how much we change and our circle changes. I loved this book and found comfort in the very fact that I am Not OK but it’s Ok Not to be Ok. X

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Relatable

Thank you, this was relieving. To hear someone speak frankly about the craziness that we call grief made me feel so much better. I highly recommend this book to anyone who suffers from grief.

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A friend in grief is a friend indeed

I have just finished this two and half-ish years after I first needed it (I had half an hour to go). It is undoubtedly the best such book I have encountered and it has been with me in some small (sometimes big) and significant way throughout my grief journey.

I have done the writing course created by the author. I can recommend it sincerely. Megan’s thoughtful contribution to grief literacy and support has been felt by many around the world. I am glad to have connected with some of them in forming our own ‘tribe.’

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Brilliant informed book

Understanding about my feelings and physical symptoms were the most relevant part and knowing that I am not alone in this nightmare. I can still find support listening this book. it's helping me to survive and taking day by day.

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