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How to Be a Footballer
- Narrated by: Peter Crouch
- Length: 7 hrs and 36 mins
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How to Be a Footballer
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Summary
**A Sunday Times Sports Book of the Year**
**Shortlisted for the National Book Awards**
**Longlisted for the Telegraph Sports Book Awards Autobiography of the Year**
You become a footballer because you love football. And then you are a footballer, and you're suddenly in the strangest, most baffling world of all. A world where one team-mate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top-hat, cane and glasses, without any actual glass in them, and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station. Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plate.
So walk with me into the dressing-room, to find out which players refuse to touch a football before a game, to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower-gel, and to hear what Cristiano Ronaldo says when he looks at himself in the mirror.
We will go into post-match interviews, make fools of ourselves on social media and try to ensure that we never again pay £250 for a haircut that should have cost a tenner. We'll be coached and cajoled by Harry Redknapp, upset Rafa Benitez and be soothed by the sound of an accordion played by Sven-Goran Eriksson's assistant Tord Grip. There will be some very bad music and some very bad decisions.
I am Peter Crouch. This is How To Be A Footballer. Shall we?
Critic reviews
'Very funny on almost every page, wonderfully self-deprecating and very sharp on the ludicrous behaviour of the modern player' - Sunday Times
'The funniest man in British sport' - Metro
Audible Sessions with Peter Crouch
Meet the author of How to Be a FootballerMore from the same
What listeners say about How to Be a Footballer
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 17-01-21
Who knew Crouchy was funny!
Loved this audible. Crouchy tells you so many funny stories about himself and his team mates, whilst giving you lots of interesting insights to life as a footballer.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Mark Houghton
- 16-04-20
Just brilliant
First book I've completed for years!!
I couldn't stop listening, it helps that it's narrated by the man himself
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Mark C.
- 02-09-21
Great
Journey to Liverpool went by in a flash listening to this. Peters a funny story teller, definately recommend.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- martin
- 19-12-19
great
absolutely loved it, really funny, going to purchase more books from Peter Crouch right now
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- J Flood
- 17-05-21
Had me laughing out loud
Absolutely loved it. It wouldn't have been the same if Peter hadn't of narrated it.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 30-11-21
good read
loved the content,
rate crouchy as a player and a person.
he has me in stitches.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Adam Reynolds
- 28-07-19
Simply Incredible
There just is not anything else to say, I couldn't finish this quick enough! Crouchy do the Robot!
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
- Wasp
- 30-09-19
Amazing!
This audio book is a hilarious way to start the day!
Please pick this audio book!
PLEASE!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Gregor Scott Tennant
- 27-09-19
Funniest Footballer Ever!
absolutely hilarious story telling from a true but subtle character of the footballing world. Truthful, revealing stories which are never negative to fellow pros this book is perfectly written and read by Peter Crouch.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Mr S.
- 22-01-19
Great Book!!
A very enjoyable book. Opens up the life of a footballer.... The ups, the downs, the laugh's and the outrageous! Peter narrates it brilliantly, making it feel like he's telling you the stories down the pub, Well worth a read!
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